I need help gaining weight

[PeekabooAtTheZoo]

Hi I'm breastfeeding, vegan, 5'6".
I'm currently 49.8kg
My target weight is 55kg.
I just can't seem to keep weight on no matter what I do. I eat 3 good meals a day, I get gentle exercise, but I'm looking after a baby and a toddler by myself.

I was referred to dietetics when my weight hit 47kg after my first pregnancy and they advised badly. They kept going on about full fat milk and cheese and when I pointed out I can't have dairy, they said "well, vegan cheese." I had to explain to someone allegedly better-qualified than me that vegan cheese has a totally different nutritional profile to cheese (cheese has around 30g protein per 100g, vegan cheese has 2g at best). Then I never heard from them again because Covid. As I weaned my LO I saw an improvement and reached 52kg before I got pregnant again and lost all that progress due to Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

Dairy isn't an option as I have CMPA and if I have dairy, I get all the symptoms of coeliac.

I'm trying to cram in as many snacks as possible between meals which translates to surviving off whatever vegan chocolate is on offer this week, and I need to change but I don't know how. I don't even like chocolate that much. Can anyone point me in the right direction? I want to eat healthy but every time I stop fighting to gain weight and just enjoy plant-based meals and let my appetite dictate what I eat, my weight gets dangerously low.

I've had blood tests etc and all I get back is near-constant iron deficiency no matter what I do, even when I go back to eating beef.

@onlywhenidream ooh I love the idea of making my own nut butters. We have a jar of almond in the cupboard but it doesn't like spreading so the bread balls up under the knife.

Oh I wish I'd known about that during pregnancy. Will look into getting it delivered here.

There are alternative nut butters - probably also possible to make yourself ( ok my children are adults now) to add on your toast

I was going to ask how your DS is with other nuts? Almond & Cashew nut butters are both nice and you could have it on crumpets or toast for breakfast.

Other breakfast ideas could be cinnamon & raisin bagels with Vitalite.

Avocado on toast with a bit of chilli & lime juice and some cherry tomatoes.

Porridge made with your favourite milk and topped with a chopped banana.

Or some vegan pancakes?

If you can make a smoothie in the morning, it's really quick.

Peanut butter, soya milk (or any plant milk you like), flaxseeds and a banana. Add oats if you want it a bit thicker.

Or have avocado on toast in the morning/peanut butter

You're not eating nearly enough

There's some good vegan ready meals in the shops that are quick and calorific if you're finding it hard to get the time to cook with your young family and it's fine for a short time!

For a vegan, it strikes me that your diet is rather lacking in - erm - vegetables! Try avocado, salads with olive oil dressings, root veg like swede, carrot, turnips roasted in oil. Bake butternut squash with maple syrup. Have fruit pies for desserts or snacks, drink fruit juice. make lentil soup, or dal, chickpea curries, lentil bolognese. Just a few suggestions - HTH!

Sorry forgot the peanut allergy but you can substitute almond butter instead

Ok, looking at your menu for yesterday it's clear you're not eating enough.

Toast- top with avocado. Prep some avocado (mash roughly with fork and seasonings) and pop in fridge in airtight container- it will be fine for a few days. This would save you some time as you mentioned time being an issue.

Choc biscuits with mid morning cup of tea.

Lunch- a sandwich or even pasta dish would be higher calories but if timing is an issue I appreciate that noodles are quick and easy. Would you be able to manage two packs or would that be too much for you? If too much then try and add something- tofu cubes, or ready done tofu puffs (these are deep fried and ready prepared, I buy them from the world food supermarket) or if time is really short, even just add a bread roll with (vegan) butter.

Dinner- if you have time then try and make dishes like lasagne, pasta dishes, fried rice, tofu etc. If you need a quick dinner like nuggets and chips then add some beans, or peas or even- you guessed it! - a piece of bread and butter.

I would eat bread and butter with every meal if I could but guess what? It makes me gain even more weight.

Try and up the snacks if you can- I second looking at accidentally vegan as there is A LOT.

A quick idea for lunch could be a hummus and rocket sandwich with some salad, a piece of fruit and a bag of crisps, maybe followed by a piece of cake.

I'm surprised you're not famished if you're eating so little and BFing

@WildImaginings thank you, it never occurred to me to do fried rice without the egg. Now wondering about dropping some tofu in it as well.
I need to get better at avocados. Usually I buy them put them in the fruit bowl then forget about them until they go off then I get mad at myself and don't buy them again for ages. I could do with a fruit and veg siren that tells me when they're on the turn. Yay ADHD.

Usually I buy them put them in the fruit bowl waiting for them to ripen

You can get freenut butter as a substitute for nut butters. It’s made from sunflower seeds and tastes just like peanut butter.
Am allergic to nuts myself

I am the same with fruit and veg so I sympathise! What has helped me is just pinning a short list to the fridge to remind me what I have and what needs using.

Tofu in fried rice is lovely. You can either crumble it slightly so it resembles the egg, but I prefer to fry in small cubes and then add in close to the end. Lovely and crispy.
If you can find the tofu puffs/deep fried tofu then these are also great in fried rice (or instant noodles!) I roughly cut up with scissors as they're quite large.

You can get frozen avocados @PeekabooAtTheZoo

Or just get an avocado mad teen like my DD so there's never a chance they'll go off or that you'll ever get one

If you've got ADHD it is going to make things more difficult.

Have you tried things like planking your meals. Do 2 or 3 days if a week is overwhelming.

Keep the meal plan and a running shopping list on your phone.

Smoothies with banana nut butter, oat milk etc in between meals not instead of and I hate to say it but my cousin who were the same way as you weight wise, loves a Gregg's vegan sausage roll! I think you can get them in Iceland so you can have them in the freezer. Snack on nuts.
Name too much for dinner so you can have left overs for lunch so you're having two proper meals a day too.

Bagels! We do have those sometimes as DS is obsessed with them. I made tofu benedict a couple of weeks back with vegan hollandaise sauce, tofu scramble and vegan bacon, and it was the bread that let it down. I'll try that again with bagels when I have time to do the sauce again.
I feel like I've got into such a hole with food.

*planning your meals not planking

You've got some really good advice here OP so I not add to it. Just want to say that I was in your position as I breastfed a CMPA baby and had to cut out all these foods. Although I'm not bf anymore I have found that I need to stay off dairy as it gives me stomach problems. I feel like I've been so restricted that I now have quite a difficult relationship with food and haven't gained the weight back that I lost.

I hope you find some good foods and manage to be healthier

@Zippea oh thanks, I love sunflower seeds so probably onto a winner with that!
@WildImaginings tofu puffs? The ones from the Chinese supermarket? I can't wait to live somewhere with those again they are my all-time favourite. I love the idea of putting a list on the front of the fridge telling me what I've got so I remember to eat it.
@SupernaturalHamster and @RewildingAmbridge I definitely could do smoothies.
@PritiPatelsMaker frozen avocados? I've seen those in the shops but didn't know how to defrost them to use.

You can get ready made guacamole in tubs. Either fresh or frozen. It keeps for a while before you open it, then it tastes best if you eat it within about a day.

frozen avocados? I've seen those in the shops but didn't know how to defrost them to use.

If you use the chopped ones you can add them straight to smoothies or defuse in a bowl in 30 minutes.

If it's half an avocado I'd probably defrost it in the fridge over night.

Coconut cream is really nice in hot chocolate or coffee and very high in calories. That swap is like putting dairy cream in your coffee instead of semi-skimmed milk.

Do you like the taste of olive oil? You can literally dip bread in olive oil (and maybe add a splash of balsamic vinegar or something like a dukka spice mix).
Do you like aubergine/egg plant? Look up imam bayildi. It’s a turkish dish where you gently cook eggplant and other vegetables in a pan with half water, half olive oil.

Have you had your thyroid checked? My friend eats way more than I do and is waif like. She had her thyroid checked and it's very overactive

I had the exact same thing when I was pregnant and breastfeeding. I’m 5’ 10” and my weight went down to 7.5st with my second DC, so the midwife sent me to a dietician who suggested lots of the things suggested here as well as incorporating lots of higher fat foods such as full fat milk, butter etc, but I appreciate that being vegan this won’t apply to you. I found that just having fattier things didn’t help me put on weight, but what did help was the more I managed to eat, the hungrier I started to become, so my overall calorie count slowly went up and I eventually put on weight. It took a while though.

Your daily intake of food was also like mine. Just grabbing anything easy to fit round the kids, and not much variation or actual goodness, just a full tummy so you can keep going.

There are some great ideas on here and if you are like me, once you start eating a bit more you’ll want to eat more and will gain a bit of weight.

Great suggestions. Deffo have dairy free butter as often as possible. Hummus is great for calories too. How about with pitta bread and dairy free butter as well? Yum as an extra snack.

Also dairy free yogurt coleslaw would be delicious as a side dish with lunch/dinner. Your menu seems to cut out all the extras that would add on calories: breads with toppings; sauces; little side dishes etc. Also banana smoothies with dairy free yogurts might work.