Revolted by seeing others eat meat

[hibbledibble]

I am struggling with this a little, and wondering how to deal with it.

I am just starting being vegan with veganuary, but have been a lifelong veggie. Never eaten meat and have no desire to. The idea of eating flesh disgusts me.

I however realise that others have different beliefs and respect that. I don't expect others to be veggie around me.

Last night I went out with a friend for dinner. He got a huge plate of meat (pretty much 2 dead birds) and was pulling apart at it with fingers. The smell and sight was revolting for me. I didn't say anything or do anything as I don't think it would have been right, but honestly it bothered me a lot, and it is still bothering me the next day.

Any idea how I can best manage this? I accept most of my friends aren't veggie. Should I not go out for dinner with them? Is it acceptable to suggest veggie places?

I’m vegan but I think we all must remember that it’s similar to religion and politics - best kept to ourselves. Nobody likes a pushy evangelical

I also agree with this ^^

I'm a foodie and love all sorts of food. DD is vegetarian and has been doing veganuary. We have had some delicious meals this month. I am finding that as I am eating so little meat these days I don't really miss it.

I beg you don't watch any of the wildlife programs on the BBC. You won't like it, mammals eating meat all over the place.

YANBU to be disgusted. That is your own feelings on the issuse and your own sensibilities. You are not alone and despite my light mockery (from my perspective on the subject) your view is perfectly vaild.

Your friend was extremely inconsiderate to order whole quails when dining with a vegan friend. Did they suggest the place? Almost seems like a provocation and they wanted a kick out of getting a rise from you. You aren't being unreasonable at all, I think some helpful advice on this post amongst the self righteous patronising ones. Only ever eat out with non vegan friends at places that are either vegetarian or unlikely to have ribs/whole birds/steaks.

How can you equate eating meat with foot binding? Honestly stuff like this is so where there 'vegans are all loony bores' stereotype comes from.

Your friend was extremely inconsiderate to order whole quails when dining with a vegan friend. Did they suggest the place?
And yet it's not considered rude in the slightest for a certain grouo of vegans to comment on other people's food choices in public, make a stand if meat is served in an eatery, expect people to plan entire meals out around what they want to eat?

Personal whole quails sounds disgusting and i wouldn't like to watch anyone eat it. However, ot's up to them and it's wrong of anyone to expect their social group to cater a night around their preferences.

This is how the vegan stereotype comes up because on this thread people have already suggested:
-Meals out should be planned to be in vegetarian or vegan restaurants
-It's perfectly reasonable to comment on non vegan food as being disgusting and make a scene in protest if meat is served
-Friends shouldn't order big meat dishes in case it offends the sensibilities of vegans

I'm quite glad none of my vegan friends carry on like that. I rarely eat meat, but i'd be pissed off if my friends expected our meals out and my orderint to be tailored to their personal taste

I see where you're coming from and have sometimes felt the same. Am a lifelong veggie and while I can cope with others eating some meat and can also prepare straightforward stuff like steak or chicken breasts (DP is not veggie) I really struggle with stuff like ribs, whole fish, whole birds etc. I was once stuck opposite a man eating a pair of quails at a work meal and obviously didn't say anything but was pretty grossed out. I ended up absolutely hammered as was put off my own food and just necked the wine! The smell of some meats also makes me feel unwell, like other pp. Sounds like your friend was quite thoughtless though I'd doubt it was intentional.

I think myself lucky that my friends often suggest a veggie/vegan place to go out (I never even suggest let alone insist on this) - they seem to like the excuse to go somewhere a bit different (as well as being considerate people!)

I'd suggest trying to encourage going places where the food won't be so in-your-face. Maybe check menus online first? I find Italian and Indian places are good for this - meat tends to be in sauces etc and not so "rip it apart with your bare hands"

It's extreme reactions like this that give vegans a bad name and put people off giving veganism a try.

I'm a biologist blind melon and what you posted is just rubbish propaganda.

Humans are clearly evolved to be omnivores, it's not just about teeth. Our whole digestive system is adapted for a mixed diet. As pp said, there are human cultures who eat mostly vegetarian, and human cultures who eat mostly meat, and everything in between. We are omnivores.

We are fortunate in this country to be able to make a choice about what we want to eat. Veganism is a choice that people make for a variety of reasons. It is daft to try and argue that it is unnatural for humans to eat meat.

OP, it was inconsiderate of your friend to eat like that in front of you if they were aware of your feelings. But did they know how much it would upset you to eat whole birds? They may not have been aware it would cause you such a strong reaction. Surely a friend would have ordered something different if they had known?

Have you talked to them about it?

I eat meat but feel a bit grossed out when a dining companion chows down on a massive rack of ribs, complete with the plastic bib you get. Nothing wrong with suggesting a veggie cafe for some variety. Also agree with pps that Indian, Chinese or Thai food might be a good compromise if you hate seeing whole dead bodies on the table.

Yes, having such an abundance of food and variation in your diet that you have the choice to not consume any animal products ever, and still be able to get everything you need to be healthy, is surely evidence of immense privilege.

Websites like the 'liberation pledge' one linked above don't seem to be very aware of this.

I think that it goes down to mutual respect. You cannot tell them what to eat and they can’t tell you either.

Such emotive language don’t leave any doubts that you are critical about their choices. If you want respect, you need to offer the same.

Suggesting going to a vegan place is a good idea but not all people like such places (we have a Buddhist cafe that I often go to with friends and I can say it is not only the food I hate, so I really resent having A friend putting the suggestion forward all the time and making us feel as we have to go and spend our money in a place we don’t enjoy just to ensure she will be comfortable).

I do have a very restricted diet, rather than imposing my needs on my friends, I prefer to meet with them for stuff that doesn’t include meals.

Did you read the other parts other than the bit about teeth though? Hmm

Did you read the other parts other than the bit about teeth though? Hmm

But humans have always eaten meat and animal products in varying quantities around the world and throughout history. Humans as a species have never had a solely 'plant based diet' have they? Some humans in the Southern Arctic regions live on heavily meat based diets.

I mean yes, there are huge issues around the production of meat/animal products now, and pretty much everyone who has a choice about these things could definitely do with cutting down heavily on those things. But to suggest that eating animals is unnatural for humans just isn't true.

I have visited the dig at the remains of the neolithic site at the Ness of Brodgar, on Orkney, and around one of the structures they found a mass of animal bones which they believe, from the archeological and bone evidence to be the remains of some huge feast. So clearly man ate meat way back then.

Haha. we used to do all sorts of barbaric things but we have a choice and are supposedly living in a civilised society now. Just because we've always done it doesn't mean it's right, let's bring back slavery then!

Keep justifying it to yourself but it my opinion it is wrong, if you spent a day in a battery farm or slaughter house instead of kidding yourself about the treatment of animals you might change your mind.

Haha. we used to do all sorts of barbaric things but we have a choice and are supposedly living in a civilised society now.

Are you saying that, for example, Inuit people for whom meat forms a huge part of their diet aren't 'civilised' like us? Are they 'barbarians'? Are their dietary practices akin to slavery?

People used to eat animals because that was what they needed to do in order to get a balanced diet so they could survive, due to various restrictions on the good available. That is not the same as practices of slavery, torture and other 'barbaric' practices from years gone by.

You seem to be conflating the idea of the act of eating animal products as inherently bad, unnatural and not what humans are supposed to do, with terrible mass farming practices resulting in unnecessary animal cruelty.

You posted a piece of vegan propaganda which basically said that humans aren't designed to eat animals. So do you believe that even in parts of the world where you cannot get everything you need from a plant based diet, people shouldn't be eating animals because its not what humans should be doing? Do you believe that even if an animal is raised well and killed humanely it shouldn't be consumed by humans? Is the consumption of animals by humans inherently wrong?

I'm not being goady here by the way, I'm genuinely interested in this debate.

Humans are omnivores, who historically have eaten a plant based diet with very occasional meat

Humans have historically eaten whatever they can. That has sometimes meant an almost entirely meat based diet. It’s sometimes meant a plant and meat based diet. It’s more rare in hunter gatherer type societies to eat no meat at all simply because meat is such a concentrated source of nutrients. Veganism is more a cultural thing. It definitely has merits in ecological and ethical terms but it’s never been a predominant mode of eating in historical populations.

We are omnivores. But it’s not true to say historically our diets were almost totally plant based. We ate whatever was around and we are adaptable.

blind melon I’m afraid that link has zero scientific validity. Our metabolic set up, our teeth, our guts and countless archaeological dogs of Middens associated with human habitats shows that we evolved with meat in our diet. We aren’t ‘designed to’ do anything by the way, evolution doesn’t work like that. We change in response to current selection pressure, there’s no direction to it.

Campaign for better slaughter practices - that to me is the main weak link in the meat chain. If you eat meat, eat a bit less so you can spend more on more locally produced meat where you can be assured of the quality of the animal husbandry and the dispatch of the animal.

I also have a lot of problem with cerain meats being in front of me so I stack salt/pepper/oil/glasses/bottles/flowers/candles/ whatever i can find on the table between me and the dish to hide it from my line of sight. If its a dish thats shared/sitting in the middle, I move it farther away from me.

I respect people’s choices and would never say anything rude or judgemental to them about eating meat, not even when im directly asked. Only my husband knows and he very subtly and strategically helps me with the hiding.

The op has posted on a vegan forum asking for advice about a very realistic problem, and has made it clear that she doesnt say anything nasty to her friends. I can’t believe how much people are attacking her on what is supposed to be a safe, helpful forum.

1. Nobody has attacked the OP. People have disagreed with one another, but there have been no personal attacks. If you think there have been, then by all means report them to MNHQ

2)This is not a vegan forum. This is a parenting forum, on which one of the boards is dedicated to the topic of veganism, for anyone to discuss related issues (as has happened here). It is not an exclusive safe space for vegans or anyone else.

I have to say I’m raising an eyebrow somewhat at the idea of needing a ‘safe space’ to discuss dietary options - it does seem a tad dramatic to require such a thing. How old are you OP?

I also can’t see where anyone has attacked the op. The general trend of the advice has been ‘try to compromise with your friends as to where you go’

Bluntness100
I don't want to get into a discussion about veganism and meat eating as it's impossible to reach an agreement.
But please, before commenting ensure what you're saying is factual.
Humans are the furthest possible things from being a carnivore. We're not omnivores either. We're herbivores. Our intestines, teeth, gut and stomach we're all designed to eat fruit and veg. The pH level in our stomach is too high to digest meat, our teeth are also blunt compared to a carnivore's.

If anyone would see a lamb having its head stamped in in the middle of tesco Who stamps on lambs' heads? It's sheep worrying dogs that I have to look out for at the moment. A poor sheep had its face ripped off.

Suggest veggie places and go out to dinner with friends there. When they're doing non-veggie places then don't go.

Surely if you explain to people who already know you that you find it difficult being in a restaurant that serves meat (as opposed to saying 'I don't like watching you eat meat' which sounds critical on a personal basis) then it shouldn't even be an issue. .?

helenoftroyeville
How can you be put off of eating plants because a vegan expressed their opinion? That's not how it works.
You're the one eating rotting flesh!
This is so many people's excuse- "You're putting me off becoming a vegan because you have openly expressed your valid opinion" crazy to think something like this puts you off living a vegan lifestyle. And yet the flesh of a dead sentient animal isn't off-putting...? Seems like a double standard to me.