Revolted by seeing others eat meat

[hibbledibble]

I am struggling with this a little, and wondering how to deal with it.

I am just starting being vegan with veganuary, but have been a lifelong veggie. Never eaten meat and have no desire to. The idea of eating flesh disgusts me.

I however realise that others have different beliefs and respect that. I don't expect others to be veggie around me.

Last night I went out with a friend for dinner. He got a huge plate of meat (pretty much 2 dead birds) and was pulling apart at it with fingers. The smell and sight was revolting for me. I didn't say anything or do anything as I don't think it would have been right, but honestly it bothered me a lot, and it is still bothering me the next day.

Any idea how I can best manage this? I accept most of my friends aren't veggie. Should I not go out for dinner with them? Is it acceptable to suggest veggie places?

Might it help if you adjusted your language? I think you’re stressing yourself out a bit with the “dead birds” and “eating flesh disgusts me”. I mean this kindly by the way, not harshly.

I usually suggest a veggie restaurant when eating out with friends, or one that I know has good veggie options.

As for what to do when you are repulsed by what someone is eating, that’s a hard one. It sounds very distressing for you. Perhaps only eat out with other veggies or eat out in a crowd and try to sit opposite another veggie?

I'm not a vegetarian but the sight of seeing someone eating chicken with their fingers (especially of the bone) make me want to vomit everywhere. It started at work when I was pregnant and has stayed with me ever since so I don't think you are being unreasonable. It's just harder for you because if you say anything people will assume it's because you're veggie and expect them to pander to it

Either eat out with friends in veggie or vegan places or invite friends to your house to eat so you can control what you see. It might well affect your friendships longer term as I’m sure that your friends will want to eat in other places from time to time or will want to reciprocate your invitation but it will at least help the problem in the short term,

Someone having two whole birds and pulling them apart with their hands is pretty good nudual as a meal, even for a really keen meat eater, so maybe you could work on the basis that most thing your friends are likely to eat won’t be as confronting for you, @hibbledibble. Would that help alleviate your concerns?

I don't think anyone thought you'd be rude to your friends, but it's bothering you and bothering you still today. That's fairly major for something that's so common place. It must have impacted on your enjoyment of your evening out with your friend.

So maybe it's time to seek some help for your own sake?

Pip the requirement to stun before killing is removed, hence the animal has its throat slit without stunning.

There is a reluctance to offend the religious lobby that leads to reduced animal welfare during slaughter. I personally don’t think that’s acceptable. I’m ok with eating meat but I think the supply chain needs to be held to high levels of welfare at all points. We are doing well on the farm level in the UK. Not so much atcthe abbatoir level. That’s something I would improve if I could

nudual??. Apologies - that was meant to be unusual

I get very upset by seeing people wearing floor length furs. It doesn't however bother me for the next 24 hours. I do my bit, and accept that others think differently. The extreme response is yours and not your friends' behaviour. It's therefore your reaction that needs to be dealt with rather than controlling your friends' diet and behaviour.

@Anatidea I didn't know that, I agree with all your points though. I live very close to an abbatoir and always feel a bit sad hearing the animals when they get ferried from lorry to factory. This is going to sound naive as all hell, but would it financially unfeasible to, I don't know, put them to sleep or something? Can they not all be knocked out with gas before being killed & chopped up?

Dsis is veggie not vegan and is ok with others eating meat in front of her (I.e. It doesn't make her feel ill) if it isn't stupendously obvious. For example, eating wings or legs or ribs etc, having a whole chicken on the table to carve, etc wouldn't be okay for her. However, if we're eating beef cottage pie or a chicken and mayo sandwich, she doesn't mind. She mentioned it last Christmas and it's all been fine since.

We (most of her family and friends) respect that and when we eat with her we generally adhere to what she's ok with; we love her and don't want her to be disgusted by us. We quite often go to veggie places (none of us are 'not a meal without meat' dickhead) too, but then again we always did even before she was veggie.

You need to either talk to your friends or stop going. Explain but try not to be offensive.

Oh no this happened to me once
Normally no issue with people eating whatever but one time someone was eating ribs and it pretty much put me off my food
Only happened once though, some days the senses are just heightened for some reason?

Another veggie told me her husband had eaten some kind of meat stuffed with meat dish once and it put her off but generally she's okay.

I don't eat out much but last time I suggested to rib loving friend that we go to a veggie place and she was fine with it.

Ps generally people eating anything other than chips and sarnies with their fingers is a bit grim, to me.

I am not a massive fan of seafood - I find it too graphic. In fact I make it a rule not to eat anything that can either wink or wave at me. So I know what you mean about finding something "too much"

You sound lovely though and I'm sure you were polite throughout.

I think going to places where it's not too graphic eg Indian or Italian is a good suggestion. Or suggesting a great veggie / vegan place - I would love to try more vegan food and would welcome the chance to go with someone in the know so to speak

I suspect though, that you may have to be careful with who you suggest vegan places to - some carnivores will want to label you as that vegan

I’d be pretty disgusted by someone pulling their meal apart with their hands regardless of whether it was meat or not. Can they not use a knife and fork?
Yes go to a vegetarian restaurant next time.

I am not even vegetarian (although we eat very little meat in the course of any given week), and if money and the environment were no issue (they are) I'd eat many more meals with big lumps of flesh like chops and steak and so on. My DS prefers things like meatballs and sausages which have a bit less of the This Is A Big Lump Of Flesh vibe about them.

But I can see where the OP is coming from. Years ago, there was a brace of quail in the Reduced For Quick Sale shelf. I am not of the quail-eating classes, and always imagined they would be wonderful and delicious and so on, so I bought them as a huge treat. Once I'd cooked them, I found the whole thing really offputting - basically it was a pair of little charred bodies on a plate. I ate them anyway, as it would have been worse to waste them, but there was something much more viscerally unpleasant about it, much moreso than, say, a whole cooked chicken. I don't know why. I can eat whitebait heads and insectoid shrimp and all the rest of it, but these quail just set off my revulsion response.

Some meat is acceptable eat with fingers. Never heard of wings, I take it?

OP, I think yabu to try to control the food choices of others - but I know that's not what you've said you are doing. More practical ways of managing it might be choosing veggie/Indian/Italian restaurants as mentioned above, or simply doing something other than dinner.

I want to see Crumbs1 eat a plate of chicken wings with a knife and fork

Thank you for all the input. I accept my language on this thread has been emotive, I didn't intend that.

annie they were quails! They were served with a knife and fork, but seeing them pulled apart with fingers was unpleasant.

Humans are not carnivores- we are omnivores who have managed quite a stunning variety of dietary niches in our history. Our guts, teeth and biochemistry suggest that we generally evolved eating a mix of stuff. We certainly aren’t obligate carnivores but we have had a significant proportion of our diets from animal sources.

As for gassing - I’m not sure that is more human tbh. Anything sedating could get in the meat and stuff like co2 isn’t instant. The main issue is things like process through the abbatoir then swift stunning.

Agree with everyone who says that good friends should want to accommodate everyone. I’d happily visit veggie or vegan places (and have) but I’d be raising an eyebrow at anyone who insisted all meals had to be at a place of their choosing because they’re revolted at what I ate.

Perhaps make it your mission to find half a dozen places that suit everyone so that you always have a go-to? Lots of Indian places spring to mind (if you’re in Edinburgh the Kalpna is superb)

I eat meat but if I had a non-meat eating friend I would totally respect their beliefs and happily dine at a vegan restaurant. Possibly even suggest it myself.

No harm in asking in the future. Maybe try a couple of vegan places if you have any and then suggest you eat there together.

I feel the same as have been veggie all my life. Most of my friends and my family are quite good about it and so wouldn't order ribs or something obviously meat when with me. I have never asked this of them and never would but I guess I am lucky to know such considerate people.

hibbledibble I don't think your friend was being rude by using his fingers - they are so small, and there's so many little bones in the way of all the meat, that tearing them apart by hand is the only sensible way to go! They are the exact opposite of "easy carve". (But yes, unpleasant, even for me as a usually-unflappable meat-eater.)

hibbledibble I don't see how your words can be emotive and offensive. It's a fact.

A former city banker sums it all up so much better than I ever could.

Humans are far from carnivores

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