Cancelled summer holiday, other suggestions please

[Nchol26]

I’ve nc-ed for this as outing.

As my title states I have been forced to cancel our UK summer holiday. We booked it last year and went without a break last year to save up. As we have never been away in the summer holidays I have been really looking forward to it. To cut a long story short there’s been a huge family fall out situation with my extended family. I was left with the only option available to me which was to cancel our holiday. I have lost the deposit. I am really emotional and drained by it all.

As well as this my DP already has ten weekends away booked (sport hobby type of things). One in Europe so DP will be away for that one for a week so I think it’s about 30 days. DP also works away a few days per month. We have pet caring responsibilities (rescues) so that all falls to me.

Due to the cancellation of our holiday we have had to have a frank adult conversation about it all. My DP has now deemed adult DC who lives with us (mine) as currently unsuitable to cover the pets, I sadly agree. So DP has said for me to get a break that the only option is that I go away by myself for a couple of nights. I’m feeling really low, depressed, overwhelmed and lonely from it all now. As I am sure some of you will point out it’s also not fair and I totally agree. I ended up in tears and I am feeling really trapped.

If anyone can suggest anywhere or anything that they have done alone and enjoyed I would love some suggestions, UK only. I live on the Kent/Sussex border. I am in my 50s love nature and history but I cancelled our NT and English heritage memberships this year to save for the holiday. I don’t like crowds/noise (ND) and I suffer from really bad anxiety.

And before people suggest solo dates to the cinema/theatre and so on I’ve been doing that for over 20 years when DP works away (in the past was away every week). So I can’t stomach doing that with my current frame of mind.

Oh and my budget for any holidays for me in the next couple of years after all of this crap is what the holiday was costing me. My share so 1k plus spending money. A few days away this year and next and hopefully a bit longer break next year as well.

Oh also I’m assuming DP will have used up all of his annual leave for this year due to the extra long weekends away plus time off over Christmas. I haven’t discussed as I’m beyond wanting to discuss this subject with him currently. ….. the one thing about that is he can’t suddenly say he wants to come as he’s got no leave left 😉

I’ll catch up on suggestions this evening thank you all so far.

Honestly OP i would be focusing on getting your DC out of the house and looking into divorce if it were me

But to your actual question- what about some kind of yoga retreat type place? Have always fancied something like that, they have a few around the country and should be pretty relaxing

Yeah I have been thinking the same myself. The last year has been unbelievably tough. One of the worst years of my life, apart from the cats.

I am trying to just keep myself going at the moment. My DP goes away for work later today until Friday and then again working next weekend. So it’s never ending.

I have been trying to make things better for myself I’ve been doing some online courses to think about other things and I’ve joined the WI.

Would you consider something like a Field Studies Council break? A few days in a quiet spot learning to paint?

www.field-studies-council.org/courses-and-experiences/subjects/watercolour-courses/

Looks amazing thank you I’ll have a good look through tomorrow.

Norfolk and Suffolk are full of lovely places as is the Essex coast.

Sorry that life is tough for you at the moment OP. How about getting a train up to York, or to Northumberland. I can recommend a cottage in Alnmouth, a short bus ride to Alnwick with the castle & wonderful Barter Books. The coast is lovely & it’s a nice pace of life.

I’ve always wanted to stay in one of these :

https://www.whitstablefishermanshuts.com/

Whitstable should be ok for you if you’re on the Kent/Sussex border?

Loads to do there, and nearby. Ie you can get the bus to Canterbury.

I’ve walked past them so many times over the years 🙂

That sounds so lovely, two places that I have never visited. I’ve wanted to go to Northumberland for years.

hfholidays.co.uk

Yes, me too. But I’ve never stayed in them! They look great - excellent location, cosy, some have balconies, well equipped etc.. perfect if you want to want to get away for a few days to the seaside.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions so far. I’m going through them in stages.

I love the landmark trust ones thank you @RawBloomers . One of their properties is on my list of places to stay one day as I’m into genealogy and some of my ancestors used to live there 🥰…sadly that one is above my budget.

if anyone has recommendations for places they have stayed alone and enjoyed that’s what I’m really after. I think some look great to do with my partner and then I imagine being there alone and don’t want to go.

I remember looking at them years ago and seemed expensive but don’t seem to bad now. Well positioned as well as there’s all the little shops closeby. We normally visit weekdays to avoid the crowds from London. I also love a coffee and cake at Whitstable castle, I have fond memories of visiting with friends and family. I can already plan that mini break for myself.

I don't know why everyone is saying go with your partner, it sounds like you need to be alone and doing something just for you.

I would go to the Wye Valley, or Ledbury, Ludlow, somewhere on the Welsh borders. A country hotel where you don't have to do any cooking or cleaning. I can recommend some if this sounds appealing.

We stayed in one of them a few years ago - it was so cute! We went October I think so it wasn’t that expensive. I did find everything shut early though when we went out to grab some food.

i seem to remember parking for them being a bit of a nightmare - I just parked in the centre.

I have stayed in both these sister cottages https://www.alnmouthcottages.com/ both gorgeous with amazing views, one has a bath & the other a shower. Prices from October are within budget. There are nice pubs & a couple of restaurants in Alnmouth & a great deli. The cottages overlook the estuary, very peaceful. The village station is on the East Coast mainline. There are lots of castles nearby & it’s very relaxing & unspoilt. I can see that other posters have made some great suggestions too, hope you find something that suits.

Feel for you in your current situation OP. Have you thought about a craft/hobby based break? This site has lots of options, both day courses and residential, across a wide range of price points. Lots are suitable for beginners so it wouldn’t need to be something you already knew about. Something to work on and be part of might help really give you a break from your stresses at home, rather than just having a lot of time on your hands. I know that if I have too much free time I can find it hard to switch off the worries.

I hope you find something that suits you and get the break you deserve.

Craft Breaks

Are you a Walker? Maybe look at ramblers holidays/HF holidays, they are usually mixed groups of couples and solo travellers. You don’t have to do massive hikes, they usually do a choice of two walks.

Maybe whilst you’re away have a good think about if this is how you want to live in a marriage for the rest of your life. Holidays by yourself every year , doing life by yourself basically whilst your DH is enjoying his hobbies. A marriage is about thinking of the other person too and enjoying time together ? This doesn’t sound the case , you deserve to be happy and have a partner who enjoys holidays with you ?
have a nice time wherever you decide to go :) 💐

Thank you everyone. Yes the plan is just me to go away. After this I need some time to myself.

And to all the people saying do you want a marriage where you do things separately no I do not. I’m not married we’ve been together 25 years now and we have separate hobbies and interests we do by ourselves but all big holidays are together even if it’s a lovely staycation at home. My DP knows this as I’ve made it clear in the past, over something else work related as he was away for the majority of 2 years only home occasional weekends, that if we don’t spend quality time together and I have to do everything alone then I will end our relationship as I deserve better and the point of me being in a relationship is to spend my life with someone.

So how that’s led to this years annual leave he’s planned beggars belief.

The bit that’s hurt the most is I’m still really upset and tearful that I had to cancel a week away in the summer holidays. As I’ve really been looking forward to it since summer 2024 before we booked it. I should not have had to cancel but due to terrible extended family stuff I had no choice, that’s not my DP or DC fault. I’ve name changed as it’s outing and family cousins use mn.

It means I’m not getting a summer holiday with my DP visiting a place that’s special to us and I’m not able to see my parents. The fall out is about that part as it’s a family celebration. So I’m really low, really struggling.

My DP was upset, especially for me, initially ….I now know albeit 24hours. Then within a week I realised ‘was told’ he’d changed his annual leave, cancelled some of it. And instead is going on a sporting event over some of those actual dates and booked the one for Europe. And my DC who was going to be the cat sitter instantly changed their plans as well. So they are both away now on those dates and I’m left here completely alone cat sitting knowing I’m not seeing my parents on the special day. It’s really stung and I’m not sure how to react or feel, they both seem to think it’s completely ok, as as long as one of us is here with the pets there’s not a problem 😭

I would have liked us to just book a different summer holiday instead elsewhere. but I wasn’t given a chance to do that.

I’m still looking at all of the suggestions but I’ve had to order an emergency white goods appliance yesterday and then this morning my old car refused to start. I know what it cost last time so I think that’s my £1000 holiday savings probably gone overnight.

Id have loved that in the past thank you but I have a disability nowadays. I’ve had to give up lots of things I used to love like long walks.

Yeah parking in whitstable is always terrible.

How about a few days in Winchester, Salisbury or New Forest if the drive isn’t too long for you?