Travelling long haul (30 hours) with 1 year old, SOLO :S

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Hello,
I'm looking for some advice please. I'm about to have my first baby and I'm looking to fly to NZ (28-30 hours) when my baby is 1 year old. I'll be flying solo. Is this doable / am I mad? Any advice greatly appreciated!
Thanks

I have a 1 year old and for me this is not doable at all. Do you have to go to NZ then? At the very least you need someone with you to help. Even then I wouldn't, sorry to be a downer but true.

I would say, depends very largely on the child you have.

My eldest- wouldn't have considered it for a split second.

Youngest- on a good day, no problem, even on a bad day, probably tiring but do-able.

Errr don’t want to be all negative but we lived abroad when DD was a baby/toddler so am quite experienced in long flights and it is honestly the worst possible age to fly with.

Pre 6 months, they sleep a lot, can go in the bassinet, aren’t mobile, entertained by watching the world go by- it’s actually really easy especially if breastfeeding so you don’t need to take bottles and formula. From
aged 2 not exactly easy but they’re in their own seat and can probably manage to watch a movie or a few episodes of something so it’s not relentless and they can be bribed with snacks, enjoy colouring etc.

Around 1 it’s fucking horrific. They’re mobile so unhappy to stay still, they likely won’t eat the plane food so you’ll need to take stuff, they won’t fit in a bassinet, they have the attention span of a gnat to the point where getting them to watch 5 minutes of cocomelon or play with a toy for 3 minutes before hurling it an achievement and they’re probably only on 1 nap a day so they will be awake for a good amount of the journey.

I’ve done that trip many times (with other adults) and for me 1yo would be the worst time to do it.

I did do some long haul at that age but with DH and it’s hard work.

Baby is big and you aren’t guaranteed a bassinet as younger babies will be prioritised. They may be too big to sleep in there anyway and they will be big on your lap (armrests don’t lift in the bulkhead seats on any airline I’ve been on so extra hard to sleep them across your lap). You could pay for an extra seat for comfort. You can’t leave a mobile baby like that alone for a minute which will be taxing.

Baby will be mobile and wobbling up and down the aisles.

Will be getting big for the tiny change table.

Will need lots of food and snacks. Usually none at all provided for a child that age.

It can be done but it’s very hard work.

If you did I would have a baby zen yo-yo stroller.

In my experienced (done this trip many times with my own baby and toddlers, and before that did it with my sisters’ kids) opinion, the best time is a few months old- a 3/4/5 mo old baby is vaccinated, not mobile, doesn’t need solids and easy to sit on your lap, can defo fit in the bassinet.

I then do it again around 2 yo when they can walk very steadily, eat a regular kids meal, and engage with a screen for a longer period for entertainment.

I’m not sure how you would even eat! The baby would be on your lap with your tray table? They wouldn’t be safe to be awake in the bassinet. You wouldn’t be able to stop them getting away if you put them on the floor of the bulkhead (provided you actually got that space- there are no guarantees with most airlines even if you book it). You buy a seat and they sit next to you maybe? And hope they leave your hot food and spilly drink?

The staff might hold your meal until the baby is asleep and you might have managed to put them down?

My last flight departing NZ this year was so turbulent people weren’t allowed to put their babies down for most of the 13 hr flight.

Yeah, you're mad.

A small baby that isn't on the move would be easier.

Under 6m, tiring but fine. Post potty training age, own seat, probably manageable bit exhausting

1yo? Mental.

I flew to Australia by myself when my DDs were two and five and it was very, very hard. Starting when I made the excellent decision to bring a wheeled suitcase and a buggy. Which I then had to push through Heathrow - one in each hand whilst also managing the two and five year old.

There is no way I would do it without their own seat.

My toddler was exhausting. And exhausted. At one point she wanted to sleep on my seat and hers and I had nowhere to sit without her objecting.

I definitely didn't get a wink of sleep but I'd say that you can do it if you get the baby his own seat and accept that you won't sleep at all yourself.

At the younger side of one it would probably have been possible for me. She was entertainable with a screen, feeds and toys. She's now 20 months and it definitely would not be possible anymore. She'd want to be getting up and walking around constantly and wouldn't sleep other than her one nap a day and longer night time sleep.

Definitely go sooner if you can, 6 months is probably the sweet spot. I did Australia with a one year old and it was awful.

Don't forget baby jetlag either.

Certainly on BA when I flew longhaul last month, the bassinets seem to have shrunk A LOT from when I took DD to Oz (age 14 months) and then to Caribbean a few times when she was 2 1/2+

I remember spending a lot of flight at the back of the cabin with her (or sat with her on my/DH's lap. She had a whale of a time; I was a wreck.

My SiL marched us to the pharmacy for antihistamine syrup for the journey home.

Age 2+ was sooo much easier.

We went to NZ with 2 of us when DD was 8-9 months old and there’s no way I would have done it alone. At least she just fit in the bassinet. She is now 14 months and there’s no way i’d be doing it again any time soon despite all my family living there. Even a shorter flight to Greece at 11 months was getting uncomfortable.

Just agreeing with everyone else, it's the very worst time time to fly! Try and go before she's mobile, 6 months-ish. Or after about two when they'll have their own seat and will watch a movie.

OK I am going to disagree ENTIRELY with the people who say 1 year old is the worst age to do this and 2 year old is better. My experience was the exact opposite!!

When DD was one I flew solo with her from UK to Sydney. DH was already out there with work so we were going out to join him for the last two weeks. Not only that but there was a problem with our flight which entailed a long delay at Heathrow (taken off plane in small hours and put in a hotel until the following afternoon) then a subsequent 5 hour delay at Bangkok. So a 24 hour delay in all.

I know that sounds horrendous even without a baby and hell with one, but actually she was completely fine. All my advance planning obviously went out the window (how many nappies, feeds, changes of clothes I would need) but these things can be replaced and provided by the air line. We had the carry cot on a shelf in front of my seat. She was too big to be put down to sleep in it but it was somewhere for her to sit and play so she wasn't on my lap the whole time. Obviously I did have to sleep with her on my lap.

All in all I found long haul with a 1 yo not too bad. But yes the nappy change is tricky.

However a year later when she was two we took her on a very short haul flight to Jersey. Should have been a 1 hour flight but it got delayed on tarmac. OMG it was HORRENDOUS. She threw her first and definitely worst toddler tantrum and screamed incessantly. I kid you not, they brought the steps out and took me off the plane and back in to the terminal building so I could try to calm her.

Anyway, if I had the choice of flying with a 1 year old or 2 year old I would go for the younger every time

I flew long haul a lot on my own with my kids but buisness or first. Are you flying economy? Will you buy your kid a seat? I think economy and no extra seat would be hard.

I think one is a tricky age. I've flown with one year olds long haul and it's been fine and I've been in my own with them but it's down to luck on the day really.

My kids were naturally quite chilled and quiet but all kids can have a bad day.

I don't think you need 'help' though. I'd leave them in the seat or take the. with me if I had to. I used to always take my own food and snacks for the, so I didn't have to wait to be served.

Depends what the circumstances are a bit. If it is a one way flight to new home, never to return for a few years, then you might have to suck it up, but I would still go for the younger baby / bassinette option and go early. Regardless of how chilled the child is, anyone who thinks going for a long haul flight with a bigger baby or under 2 yr old, without own seat is going to work in economy is going to find it really hard going. The airline staff will do the best for you, but they have no options if the plane is full.

Can you afford to go business or first class? That way you could get a lie flat seat so baby could sleep on the way if you used antihistamines to help them to sleep & you would have more space. If you pick an unpopular time to fly there are often lots of empty seats in business or first class. Look at travel vloggers on YouTube to find ways of getting upgrades or cheaper flights.

It's perfectly doable, won't be fun though. If you can buy an extra seat or business class will make it slightly less painful.

Book them a seat. Go with an airline that allows you to take and fit a car seat.

At the airport buy a huge box of chocolates / cakes / snacks for the flight crew.

Definitely book an extra seat if you can, and the tip of finding an airline that accepts car seats is a good one, or a business class seat. I did it. It will pass and will be a nothing but a memory one day.

For some more detailed advice....

Try and get the same airline all the way to NZ. This is pretty much limited to the Asian and Middle Eastern ones now. Request special assistance and you will be delivered from check-in to gate plus they used to take you to a special assistance lounge in transit.
Singapore bassinet will be ok for a 1yo, check that it is a guaranteed bassinet and you won't be moved for a younger baby.

If you can't guarantee a bassinet, buy a seat, it will be hell with a one year old on your lap for that journey if the plane is full and I've just flown back from Oz two days ago and the planes are absolutely chocka.

Just remembered from my solo trip to Sydney. We flew BA and they made a special case for wheelchair users, people travelling with small children and unaccompanied children. If you made yourselves known then they would let you check on first and gave special help. I dropped on this quite by accident but realised that more seasoned travellers with children were aware ant took full advantage. Don't know if this still applies.

Particularly useful in our case because of the delays we encountered. At Bangkok DD and I were given a day room for nothing, basically an en suite hotel room in the airport so we could clean up and rest in privacy.

Another thing I discovered is that German people go out of their way to help someone travelling solo with a baby. So many kind people who offered me help - help with my luggage, lending jumpers to wrap round baby in the chilly early morning while queuing for a bus to the airport hotel, insisting I go to the front of the queue rather than stand in line - all German. The Brits were muttering "I say we are all waiting..."

1 is tricky. I’ve done melb to london solo with a 6 month old, melb to london solo with a 6mo and an overtired 3.5yo as I’d been down with gastro for the week and only just recovered, do not recommend, and seattle to melb via nz solo with a 15mo. 15mo was just old enough to like doggies so we alternated going for little walks, and watching napoleon and pointing saying doggie! Every time a dog was on the scene. I take a ring sling and a structured carrier, the ring sling is for going through security and on the plane as I can pop them in and out, and rock them to sleep in it then loosen it a bit so they sleep safely on my lap and I won’t drop them if I doze off. A cabeau neck pillow so I can sleep sitting up. Some muesli bars etc in case I can’t reach any of the meals/don’t have hands. Micro pack so I have small waist pouch with wallet passport etc, and bag in it to keep on seat with me - phone, battery pack for it, lip balm, tissues. Small change bag, snack bag and toys to go under seat and you refill them from your backpack that goes in the lockers when the run low. Don’t expect to get any rest and you won’t be disappointed, but it’s achievable.

Oh and book a bassinet seat for the space, but a one year old won’t really fit in it.