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Original poster

Children chalking over our land

765 replies

Charliec12 · 22/07/2024 22:12

Hi all, am I over reacting? My neighbours brought their children some chalks at the weekend. The children are chalking everywhere with them including on my driveway which we half share with them. My OH said to one of the children tonight that the area looked a mess. Said child started crying and then the Mum came out and was confrontational and annoyed with me that I don’t agree with it looking nice in the area. I also have 2 young children and I get they want to have fun.

OP posts:
Original poster
Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 06:59

SBHon · 23/07/2024 06:59

including on my driveway which we half share with them
Is it your land if it’s shared?

Edited

Yes exactly that.

OP posts:
TemuSpecialBuy · 23/07/2024 07:00

Am i overeacting?

Yes.

Did my husband behave horribly and should he offer an apology and goodwill gesture (e.g. small garden toy, stickers, something) to the CHILD HE REDUCED TO TEARS?

Also yes.

Should you encourage him to do so in order to preserve neighbourly relations given its a shared driveway not "your land"?

Also yes.

Original poster
Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 07:01

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 22/07/2024 22:46

This happened in our close when my dch were young and some neighbours were not happy with what they called "mess" all over the pavements. So your DP is not alone, OP.

Thank you. I just feel the parents could of said you only do it in these areas.

OP posts:
username47985 · 23/07/2024 07:01

You pair of fun sponges.

What harm are the kids doing?

Fimbledore · 23/07/2024 07:02

HucklefinBerry · 23/07/2024 06:06

I think people are being harsh.

Many people struggle with chaos and mess and need things orderly and tidy. Mess can overwhelm them.

It's totally each person's right to have their needs accommodated when possible.

Drawing on their own driveway is one thing but if someone scribbled all over my driveway it would totally trigger my sister's OCD. It would genuinely cause her distress.

Simple rule. Don't touch other people's stuff (or land)

Thank you.
I'm autistic and visual clutter causes me emotional distress.

AtomicPumpkin · 23/07/2024 07:04

Singleandproud · 22/07/2024 22:23

I wouldn't want them on the drive if you have a car as bit of a safety risk.

But unless you are trying to sell your house or something it's a total non issue buy some chalks for your children and yourself and get out and join them.
Draw out a hopscotch, some circles for 'targets' to throw small pebbles or bean bags into etc. draw some different sized 'frames' for them to draw into. Then get a toy broom, fresh cheap decorating paint brushes and a bucket of water to do some water mark making too and get them to clean all but their favourite drawing up after taking photos of them. Your neighbours children will no doubt follow your lead. model the behaviour you want to see

Edited

The behaviour I want to see is people not bringing their mess into my space.

TemuSpecialBuy · 23/07/2024 07:04

Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 07:01

Thank you. I just feel the parents could of said you only do it in these areas.

Show quote history

So if it was their "half" of the drive you and Señor Fun Sponge would have thought it was fine....
Yeah right.

YouJustDoYou · 23/07/2024 07:05

Oh no, not chalk!!!!! Oh mah gaaaaahd!!!!!!

ZekeZeke · 23/07/2024 07:07

Charliec12 · 22/07/2024 22:12

Hi all, am I over reacting? My neighbours brought their children some chalks at the weekend. The children are chalking everywhere with them including on my driveway which we half share with them. My OH said to one of the children tonight that the area looked a mess. Said child started crying and then the Mum came out and was confrontational and annoyed with me that I don’t agree with it looking nice in the area. I also have 2 young children and I get they want to have fun.

How old are your children?

Original poster
Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 07:07

ForestForever · 22/07/2024 22:54

I’m prepared to be flamed for this but whatever. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t fundamentally see any issue with children using chalks outside as myself and my siblings used to do the same outside when we were young but the parents should be discouraging and not encouraging their children to be on your property boundary. We would have been in so much trouble if my parents had found out we had done it on another persons property and rightly so. Whether it’s washable and kids fun etc is irrelevant. It’s about basic manners and a blatant lack of respect by the parents not to teach their children to respect other peoples homes and whilst chalk isn’t grafiti or damaging it opens up a whole new avenue for them to just wander onto your driveway and do whatever they like as they get older ie paint or playing on your drive. You can guarantee if they were to play on your part of the drive and have an accident and be injured by something on your drive said wondergob would be the first person to blame you. Your partner shouldn’t have confronted the children but should have gone straight to their parent instead.

That is exactly how we both feel. My kids would only do it on our areas not go and chalk outside the neighbours house. Neighbours thought we were being unreasonable though.

OP posts:
2boyzNosleep · 23/07/2024 07:09

OP, it's chalk on a shared driveway.

It may look a bit messy but I don't rally understand what there is to get annoyed about? It's harmless fun and washes away with a bucket of water or rain.

Your husband made a child cry over something insignificant, which is why the mum would have been pissed off with you.

Lavenderfields121 · 23/07/2024 07:09

Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 07:01

Thank you. I just feel the parents could of said you only do it in these areas.

Show quote history

I agree with you and I’m quite horrified at the amount of posters who think that children should have free rein to draw/ play wherever they want, even if it’s on someone else’s property.

Original poster
Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 07:09

Boater · 22/07/2024 22:47

Your land?

Get a grip OP. It’s only chalk. It’ll be gone when it rains.

Yes our land as we own it

OP posts:
Original poster
Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 07:11

Roosnoodles · 22/07/2024 23:00

I get the feeling that this was probably the first thing your husband felt he could say something about. I imagine they may have been crossing the boundary between your two houses for some time. Nobody just goes and yells at some kids without there being some back story.

To be fair he didn’t yell he raised his voice slightly in shock

OP posts:
Mummma9420 · 23/07/2024 07:12

I’d be interested to know how much over ‘your land’ they’ve drawn. It’s a bit of chalk! It’s due to rain tomorrow so it will wash away. Never heard something so ridiculous

Purplecatshopaholic · 23/07/2024 07:13

Kids do it here too but on communal paths etc. I don’t have a problem with it and actually think it’s great they are outside and away from screens. I wouldn’t have an issue with it on my driveway either (it literally washes away as has been said), but agree they should ask first. I was more concerned when the older kids got hold of the younger kids chalk and the drawings took a turn for the worse, lol.. Just have a word with the parents - making a kid cry over this is just mean spirited.

BigButtons · 23/07/2024 07:14

It would annoy me. Kids in our road started breaking up natural chalk rocks and wrote all over the road. There were rocks all over the road- not great for cars or any property nearby as they hurled them around to break them open.

2boyzNosleep · 23/07/2024 07:14

Lavenderfields121 · 23/07/2024 07:09

I agree with you and I’m quite horrified at the amount of posters who think that children should have free rein to draw/ play wherever they want, even if it’s on someone else’s property.

Show quote history

It's because it's a shared drive.

It's not like they physically crossed over a wall or garden to gey to it.

They probably started on their side then got carried away and drew across the whole driveway.

Yes I agree that the parents should be said not to go on the other side, but it's also chalk. It washes away. I'm sure if it was anything permanent then the parents would definitely have stopped them.

Original poster
Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 07:14

dijonketchup · 22/07/2024 23:25

First day of the summer holidays and your OH is telling the neighbour’s kids off for a bit of pavement chalk? I’d hate to live next door to you tbh. Relationships with good neighbours are useful and you will find a petty, unfriendly attitude like this gets you nowhere.

We are great neighbours thank you. We take a lot of pride in our area and his reply was one of frustration at chalk being drawn on our driveway and areas.

OP posts:
HoorahhoorahTheyaregoingaway · 23/07/2024 07:15

Roosnoodles · 22/07/2024 23:00

I get the feeling that this was probably the first thing your husband felt he could say something about. I imagine they may have been crossing the boundary between your two houses for some time. Nobody just goes and yells at some kids without there being some back story.

I think you are probably right! That's the thing on Mumsnet you only get one side of the story
Having children play on their driveway is dangerous especially if he goes to move his car it could be something like that that is behind it and not so much the chalking.

Princessbananahamock · 23/07/2024 07:15

Charliec12 · 22/07/2024 22:12

Hi all, am I over reacting? My neighbours brought their children some chalks at the weekend. The children are chalking everywhere with them including on my driveway which we half share with them. My OH said to one of the children tonight that the area looked a mess. Said child started crying and then the Mum came out and was confrontational and annoyed with me that I don’t agree with it looking nice in the area. I also have 2 young children and I get they want to have fun.

There was a video of a lady who overreacted to a child’s drawing in chalk. The video went viral!! Don’t be that person. She said that it looked a mess etc and

jet washed it whilst the child cried. Look up sidewalk Susan.

ITS CHALK ! don’t be that person.

mitogoshi · 23/07/2024 07:16

You say it's your land but also it's shared, if the latter then they own it too! Stop being grumpy

C1N1C · 23/07/2024 07:16

People with kids = one opinion
People without kids who take pride in their stuff = another opinion

Your property, your say.

Original poster
Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 07:16

HMW1906 · 22/07/2024 23:48

YABU

It’s not spray paint or permanent marker. Literally as soon as it rains it will wash away or if it’s really bothering you that much then throw a bucket of water over it 🙄.

We allow our children to chalk on the driveway at the front of the house or on the decking at the back, it’s literally gone as soon as it rains.

Edited

Get that but that is totally different. They drew on my driveway and areas outside the front of my house.

OP posts:
Original poster
Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 07:18

Sadtosaythis · 23/07/2024 00:10

It’s chalk. Not paint. Let them have fun while the weather is good and they can get outside. It will
be gone in the next downpour but you will forever and always be remembered as the miserable parent who moaned about the chalk for the rest of your time living there.

Yes and the people who respect their area. My kids chalk on my land.

OP posts: