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Children chalking over our land

765 replies

Charliec12 · 22/07/2024 22:12

Hi all, am I over reacting? My neighbours brought their children some chalks at the weekend. The children are chalking everywhere with them including on my driveway which we half share with them. My OH said to one of the children tonight that the area looked a mess. Said child started crying and then the Mum came out and was confrontational and annoyed with me that I don’t agree with it looking nice in the area. I also have 2 young children and I get they want to have fun.

OP posts:
Kinshipug · 23/07/2024 09:46

TheDuck2018 · 23/07/2024 09:43

Yes, half each. The op doesn't want her half chalked on, which is fair enough.

Shared driveways are usually jointly owned rather than split down the middle. If hers is actually split down the middle, I would suggest a fence lest she make more children cry.

ForestForever · 23/07/2024 09:47

Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 07:07

That is exactly how we both feel. My kids would only do it on our areas not go and chalk outside the neighbours house. Neighbours thought we were being unreasonable though.

I think a lot of people are going out of their way to be spiteful and classic Mumsnet bully pile-on purely because of what your partner/ husband said. Also, misguided people think that their precious darling children have the right to do anything they like up to the point of criminal damage and everyone should be expected to roll over and go “oh well it’s just children having fun” which in reality it’s not just that at all. The children aren’t to blame but the adults shouldn’t think it’s acceptable in the first place. If you don’t want someone else’s children drawing on your property with chalk or otherwise, that’s absolutely fine. It’s your property, no one has the right to tell you what should and shouldn’t be happening on a property that they don’t pay a penny to rent/ mortgage for as long as it’s not illegal of course. It’s easy to be so cavalier with something that doesn’t belong to you. Cheeky fuckers on here and your neighbours. Why don’t all of those in the “just chuck a bucket of water over it” camp come and clean your driveway for you as they’re so wonderfully kind and tolerant. Do they want to contribute to your water bill whilst they’re at it? Doubt it. I can’t imagine being the person to chuck a bucket of water of a child’s self-perceived art is going to be considered any less upsetting or inflammatory for them. It comes across as passive aggressive when the right course of action to save broken hearts and tears is for them to stay on their side of the drive in the first place. It’s not due to rain here for about five days and the six weeks holiday is long. I wouldn’t want other people’s children scrawling on my drive with chalk constantly for six weeks and I have children of my own and indeed do like children.

Regardless of whether the driveway is half shared or half owned is also irrelevant because it still doesn’t entitle anybody to treat the other half like it doesn’t belong to you. It’s cheekiness of the highest order and the principle is the thing that counts here, not the fact that it’s child’s play or temporary. If anyone says otherwise they’re devoid of common sense and have just as little respect for people than the gobby parent and in my view. If the neighbour had any wish to maintain neighbourly relations then they would tell their children to stay on their own half of the driveway and supervise them properly. As much as it’s nice that they’re outside instead of inside, it’s still a low bar to allow children to use someone else’s drive purely for the fact that they’re not glued to a screen inside. Can people really not be arsed to parent their children anymore?

Anyway, it speaks more about them than it does you. The virtue-signallers on here literally fall over theirselves to tell you how they “couldn’t possibly imagine getting worked up over this” or it’s “not a hill they would die on”. Of course you couldn’t dear. 🙄 If it had been about them using your pool in your front garden or playing ball the answer would be completely different although a lot of holier than thou people on here would like to claim otherwise. There was a thread recently on here about a little girl who kept going into a posters garden and playing in their garden. It was a resounding YANBU and the child shouldn’t be going into their garden without their permission. Rightly so.

The thing is about Mumsnet it is a lot of the time it’s not reflective of real life and it brings out of a lot of the saddos who get a real kick out of making a stranger on the internet feel like shit. I haven’t once in real life heard anyone use the self-righteous “witty” lines that are so easily trotted out when certain subjects are discussed on here. Of course they wouldn’t, because they’d make theirselves look an absolute idiot and nobody would put up with it. It’s easy to be brave when youre hiding on the internet.

Finally, to add conclusion to my waffle YANBU. 😁 Your husband/ partner was definitely BU though so you might want to be the person to speak to your neighbour in future as I have a feeling by her unreasonable reaction that you could have more issues with her down the line. Good luck and ignore all of the unnecessary mud slinging, it’s just nonsense.

user1984778379202 · 23/07/2024 09:47

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😵

powershowerforanhour · 23/07/2024 09:47

I'm disappointed, when I saw the title of the post I thought they'd recreated the Cerne Abbas Giant complete with massive willy on OPs 6000 acre estate. What a let down.

KatiesMumWoof · 23/07/2024 09:48

SoupDragon · 23/07/2024 09:40

Sure. All kids should be fine with being shouted at by an adult. 🙄

@SoupDragon

Thats not what I said & pretty much proves my point. No one shouted, the OP's 'H' told the child it looked a mess. Told. Maybe grumpily, that's not shouting at a kid.

ContentSolitude · 23/07/2024 09:48

It's not a battle I'd pick and it sounds like the father solved it by drawing a line down the middle. It will wash off.

Sidewalk chalk sticks don't last long though. Just hope they don't do what me and my sib did when our chalk ran out and break out the crayons outdoors where they'd been chalking.

Janiie · 23/07/2024 09:50

Kinshipug · 23/07/2024 09:46

Shared driveways are usually jointly owned rather than split down the middle. If hers is actually split down the middle, I would suggest a fence lest she make more children cry.

Oh yes. How discusting to make a 'creative dc' cry for scrawling all over the op's drive. I do hope the scrawler's hapless parents logged it with 101.

Parents, keep your kids on your own property with their creative chalks.

Eejitmum101 · 23/07/2024 09:52

Yeah semi agree with OP
the mum sounds entitled, don’t draw on other people’s property it’s called being respectful.
if she knew the kids and was
nn good terms with them , then fine but looks like they have randomly decided to stay on her drive with no notice. And true about the car reversing and not seeing the kids if they were there drawing.
But as others say it’s chalk get a hose and wash it down.

Nellsbells173 · 23/07/2024 09:53

@Janiie feral 😂it’s a bit of chalk!

Mrsttcno1 · 23/07/2024 09:54

If I was your neighbour I think I’d be tempted to come do a chalk drawing of my own for you to look at, maybe a nice willy in chalk to remind you of your husband🤣

tennesseewhiskey1 · 23/07/2024 09:54

Yeah sorry - your partner made a kid cry?! How nasty was he? It’s only chalk op - it’s hardly spicy paint is it? Sounds like you don’t want them on ‘your’ land and that’s what it is about. If my neighbour made my child cry about abit of chalk - I would be mega fucked off.

Starlight7080 · 23/07/2024 09:55

Your land has been chalked on🤣🤣🤣
If it happened daily and was relentless then fair enough maybe have a polite word with the adults!
What you don't do is make a child cry.
I think it says a hell of a lot about you both .
How bloody miserable

Alwaysyoudoyou · 23/07/2024 09:55

Janiie · 23/07/2024 09:45

'Their creativity'. Omg let them be creative on their own side of the drive.

I wouldn't want feral kids scrawling all over our driveway either op, all the posters on here saying it's fine, it isn't. Control your kids!

It isn't, you're right, and children should be encouraged to respect the property of others. However, we also want to teach these children how to communicate in a respectful way right? I personally learn a lot better when I'm not in tears because someone was mean to me. In my house if you do something like this the first time then I'm going to take time to tell you why it wasn't okay, and show you what would be okay instead.

For example

'Hey Lily, did you know that this drive isn't all the same? It might all look the same, but there's actually an invisible line down the middle! You can't see it but it's important. Everything this side of the line belongs to Mrs Jones next door, and it's up to her how she looks after it and what happens to it. Everything this side of the line is ours and we get to decide what happens. We like chalks on our side of the line, Mrs Jones doesn't like chalks on hers. It's really important to remember that you can't do things on others peoples properties. So no drawing, no playing ball etc, without asking first and them saying yes.'

Now personally I live in fear of ever causing offence or inconvenience to anyone so I'd have been saying that the moment they were outside with the chalks. But even adults make mistakes, maybe the parent forgot to remind the kids about the invisible line. It was an opportunity for education. Didn't have to be mean about it.

KatiesMumWoof · 23/07/2024 09:55

Butwhybecause · 23/07/2024 09:37

😂😂😂

It isn't just me then 😂

Can you imagine if they had!! The outrage

🤣🤣

meisafairy · 23/07/2024 09:57

Kids can’t do right from wrong, a wholesome fun, cheap and cheerful activity which has no lasting damage and you go and piss on their chips.

We all chalked and done hopscotch as kids, except now you can’t breathe without offending miserable people.

Still can’t believe you are justifying your husband making a kid cry.

Grinches.

Alwaysyoudoyou · 23/07/2024 09:57

KatiesMumWoof · 23/07/2024 09:55

Can you imagine if they had!! The outrage

🤣🤣

@Charliec12 @lowflyingtitties @Butwhybecause Noone's coming near my private area with chalk! Sounds most uncomfortable.

ForestForever · 23/07/2024 09:58

user1984778379202 · 23/07/2024 09:47

😵

I expect you think you’re clever don’t you? Fancy being this pathetic to look up her posting history just to use something against her to make her feel small for not wanting other peoples children on her property. Her other threads aren’t remotely related to this one and doesn’t change facts. It’s clear to see who was a bully in your year at school isn’t it. Grow up and get a life.

Edit: Apologies, I was supposed to quote the original poster.

Eejitmum101 · 23/07/2024 09:58

@tennesseewhiskey1 then teach ya kids not to chalk on other people’s property.
But don’t agree with an adult making a child cry he could have taken it up with the mum not the child :$

Butwhybecause · 23/07/2024 09:59

Alwaysyoudoyou · 23/07/2024 09:57

@Charliec12 @lowflyingtitties @Butwhybecause Noone's coming near my private area with chalk! Sounds most uncomfortable.

Kinky!! 😂😂😂

Peonies12 · 23/07/2024 10:03

My god, how miserable are you and your OH. It's chalk, not spray paint. Get some perspective.

Hakunatomato · 23/07/2024 10:03

Totally agree with you OP. I love hearing children play, but I wouldn’t want my driveway looking like a ghetto. Shows total lack of respect by the parents to allow it to happen, and sadly, kids copy this and grow up lacking respect for others. When we were small, the kids all used to be out in the cul de sac on our bikes making a noise, but come Sundays Mum asked us to play in the garden out of respect for others, so everyone could enjoy the day.

Ginnnny · 23/07/2024 10:03

How mean of you and your OH. Love seeing the pavements chalked by the local kids, I used to do that years ago and it's adorable its still done now - the parent is probably grateful they are away from devices for a while and it isn't like chalk will last forever.
Get a grip, OP.

HoppingPavlova · 23/07/2024 10:07

Yes because our land has been drawn on by chalk but still it is our property.

I’m with everyone else. It’s chalk. How your DH was ‘in shock’ and yelled I have no idea. It’s odd. Again, wherever it is, it’s chalk. Who cares if it’s in a public park either? Surely people can draw in chalk in public areas? Why on earth not?

See, before was probably just chalk doodlings. Now, if I was those parents I’d go out (on my side) and draw a huge dick with a hat on it pointing at your side. I’d then consider the matter somewhat solved.

Hadjab · 23/07/2024 10:10

Charliec12 · 23/07/2024 09:09

You are missing the point it is not their land they are drawing on.

It's not their "land" (such a colonialist term), you're right, but why can't you see that your DH could have dealt with it in way that didn't end up with kids crying and parents being "gobby"? You say the dad of the kids drew a boundary - your OH could have done the same thing if he'd stopped to think first rather than go automatically into Victor Meldrew mode.

Why can't you also just accept the fact that it's chalk, not the blood of every first born male in the area, and that it will wash off? Given that it's going to be pissing down for the rest of the week and probably the rest of summer, this really isn't something that is going to affect you much.

It's just chalk.

CountryCob · 23/07/2024 10:11

@ForestForever jointly owned isn't irrelevant, it means legall both parties have full use of the property and it isn't the case that one party has half as that half would be unusable. Also letting a dispute over that access start over chalk is legally extremely unwise.

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