Feeling conned by friend ? Is that the right word to use ?

[picklemedoo]

My friend asked if I wanted to go to the london theatre with her at christmas. She knows i love the theatre. She booked the tickets and i gave her the cash. We will meet our friends there, but they have booked separately and are not sitting with us.

I have since found out - from checking online for the price i paid - that my friend has used a family disability pass to book herself a free "companion" ticket. We are sitting in the disabled section. Nether of us are disabled.

Aside from the moral issues around this, i feel quite conned by her ? Not because I have paid and she hasn't, it's not about the cost I've paid, I don't know what to call it ??

I'm specifically looking for feedback on the conned aspect. We all know the moral issues are just wrong.

That’s disgusting behaviour. Ask her for your money back and go to the show with someone more trustworthy. If she refuses to refund, report her to the theatre (you don’t need to tell her you’re doing this) - tell them the seat number and everything. And in the nicest possible way, OP - please consider rethinking your friendship choices.

Music concerts often have an accessible seating section. We have been to several that do. Not for wheelchair only but for all disability and carer tickets.

My neighbour deals with ticketing at an arena. He says the number of people who buy tickets on eg Level 3 then want to sit in the accessible seats is astonishing. Then there are the wheelchairs left behind after the shows!!!!

Yes, this is definitely unacceptable.

I think OP means that the tickets for example should have cost £200 for two, but friend has only paid £100 so OP knows she has used the carer’s access where a companion goes free.

its a total CF thing to do and i agree with the moral arguments, however surely if she had the brass neck to do that she’d have only taken half the money off you (although obviously not as she has the morals of an alleycat so if she is prepared to abuse the carer system she is prepared to take the piss out of her friends too)

My friend is entitled to a free companion ticket and will often ask me to go with her. We split the overall cost. In the London theatres, we don't sit in a specific section but in our local theatre there are certain seats allocated for these types of tickets.

Are you sure the theatre actually has designated disabled seats? When my mum has used the carer companion ticket for my dad who is disabled, they pick whatever seats they want at whatever price they are depending on where they are sat, and its basically just buy one get one free. Its not a designated section (although he doesn’t need a wheelchair).

Ooh, I just looked and may qualify. I've never really thought about it before.

So you didn’t mean that it would make sense if she’s said they were in the disability section. You meant “I’m challenging your assertion that you’re in a disability section. You can’t know that. And I’d prefer your thread if you were less sure of yourself.”?

Your behaviour here is so, so weird @picklemedoo

You jumped to this conclusion that your friend has cheated you and defrauded the theatre, but rather than speak to her you are going to wait to have a showdown later and probably miss the show??

I think most people would want to clear up any misunderstanding and have the opportunity to arrange proper tickets now.

I book ambulatory disabled seating (which means I’m disabled but can walk), I have to provide a copy of my award letter but I do get a carer seat as well. However they are usually more expensive so it kind of evens out.

Yeah goodly luck actually getting in with that, I go to the theatre a lot and you will be asked to show the access card. Mine has my picture on it so she won’t get away. She could also get the persons who’s card she has used taken off them. It’s such a shitty thing to do. There are limited disabled spaces as it is

Nimbus card is quite specific. You need to provide evidence and it states which criteria you meet. Not all will get +1 unless they need the support of a carer.

Yeah I looked, I think I might get one, maybe 2 of the criteria. Wouldn't qualify for (and don't need) a +1. Need to sort out some recent consultant correspondence.

She hasn’t conned you, she’s conned the theatre. Obviously you don’t have a disability, so I’d be asking her what her disability is. In her mind she will have been doing you a favour in procuring a lower cost ticket. She needs to be told how dishonest she is, as she probably thinks this is all OK. It would also be polite if her to have forwarded you the tickets. I wouldn’t be biding my time in this. And I wouldn’t be keen on continuing a friendship with someone like this.

Unbelievable audacious of her. At the very least she should be sharing the saving with you and not expecting to go free.

So she's also possibly conned the op who has paid for her ticket and the friend gets in for nothing as a carer?

But you won’t be able to tell unless you see her ticket too.

Unless your ticket states that it is at disabled concessionary rate.

In which case she is ripping off the theatre.

@OffTheMap yup. Without seeing her ticket I won't know. I won't see the tickets as they will be digital on her phone. I will never know if she's ripping me and the theatre off .. or not

So ask her if it’s bothering you, hey what seat numbers are we or my friend was thinking of going on another night but can’t see any tickets for £38.50 except for people with a disability etc.

‘Hi friend, I was looking available tickets up for a friend who wanted to go too, and the price I paid seems to be the disabled seat price? That seems very strange, can you please confirm ticket details?’
her huff puff excuse
you: I need to see the ticket email and details please or send my money back. I could not turn up as a fully able person to take a seat designated for a disabled person, so I need you to show me the tickets and confirm that won’t happen or I can’t go.’

@EvieBB so you think it's OK for a non disabled person to book disabled concessions as long as they share the saving? CFs everywhere.

So someone who is disabled has to miss out on seeing this play because you want to wait to confront your friend about all of this instead of doing it now and getting your “friend” to change the tickets to normal ones? You are as bad as her imo

Then surely you say on the night?

This is going to sound crazy but you can actually just ask your friend now...