Feeling conned by friend ? Is that the right word to use ?

[picklemedoo]

My friend asked if I wanted to go to the london theatre with her at christmas. She knows i love the theatre. She booked the tickets and i gave her the cash. We will meet our friends there, but they have booked separately and are not sitting with us.

I have since found out - from checking online for the price i paid - that my friend has used a family disability pass to book herself a free "companion" ticket. We are sitting in the disabled section. Nether of us are disabled.

Aside from the moral issues around this, i feel quite conned by her ? Not because I have paid and she hasn't, it's not about the cost I've paid, I don't know what to call it ??

I'm specifically looking for feedback on the conned aspect. We all know the moral issues are just wrong.

If you chose to read the thread, you'd be aware that the OP doesn't actually KNOW she's definitely in the disabled section...

You're the only poster who seems unable to understand this.

Certain venues do offer discounts, depends on the theatre, the show, the area for the theatre, you’re correct about the cinema

At 'your' cinema? How do you know it's the same in every cinema?

Yes, it would concern me. There are often other seats designated for ambulatory disabilities but they tend to be end of row throughout the theatre so wouldn’t fit OP’s description. But I’m minded that people fudge details and maybe it’s not actually a theatre she’s going to.

I wouldn't bide your time, I would ask her now so that if she has abused the system the tickets can be released for people who actually need them. Disabled area seats tend to get sold out very quickly and people who need them don't have the luxury of using other seats. So ask her now to be sure that is what she has done and then tell her you are cancelling and rebooking a full price seat and if she wishes to join you then she can. No point waiting it will make everything worse if she has done this.

As far as I know a disability theatre pass only relates to one particular disabled person.
For example my mother, in her 9Os had one. If she was going to the theatre she needed assistance. I could go as her companion and not pay for my seat. Anyone else could take her if available. But she had to be going. The companion pass was not available for anyone to use. Even another disabled person couldn't use this it had to be her.
If your friends disabled companion pass is the same she is being dishonest and as far as I can see she is using you as the 'disabled' person she is accompanying. If this is the case, as well as being dishonest, it could be very embarrassing for you if any checks are made at the theatre. I would be asking her for the exact conditions of this companion pass. You could Google the theatre to find out. That is how I found out about the concession. Sadly my mother died before we could use it so we'd always paid for two seats. It certainly wasn't available for me to turn up with anyone other than her 🤔

Disability "section" is only if you need a wheelchair spot. So seat number is irrelevant

Yes, this is confusing me. I go with my disabled daughter who does use a wheelchair but can do without it during the performance. I just use it to get her to the nearest door from where we can manage to get to a seat. I've never come across a 'disabled section'. And she pays the same for her ticket as everyone else. Curious

Aside from wheelchair accessible spaces I have never come across a 'disabled section' in a theatre

Exactly. And I've been accompanying my daughter for several years.

That's a scuzzy thing for her to do. I imagine disabled spaces are quite limited in venues

The only 'disabled spaces' are empty, to accommodate a wheelchair. If you booked that without a wheelchair you'd have nowhere to sit.

I would message her breezily “Hi, was just looking up the details for the show online and I know it’s a bit a random but I noticed the ticket price I paid is the same as a disability ticket rather than a regular. Just checking there’s not been a mistake?! 😂”

That way you’re not accusing her, but it will mean she needs to confess if that is indeed what she’s done.

I’m a wheelchair user BUT there’s such a thing as access beyond wheelchairs only. Ambulant and poor mobility/Visually impaired and needing the front - hearing impaired there is designated seating for all these !

The only 'disabled section' that I am aware of, at the theatre, are spaces for people with wheelchairs.

It's not your fault, and perhaps this is not what you think.
Unless you want to ask your friend outright, just assume she wouldn't behave so badly. If you are challenged at the venue you can truthfully say that you didn't ask to be in an accessible seat and ask your friend what he hell is going on.

You can get reductions in some venues for being visually or hearing impaired, and ask to sit at the front.

I’m a wheelchair user BUT there’s such a thing as access beyond wheelchairs only. Ambulant and poor mobility/Visually impaired and needing the front - hearing impaired there is designated seating for all these

Well that's news to me. Helpful news. Thank you. I need to do better research!

If she has done this, she is absolute scum.
Can you report her.

Terrible thing to do also they might ask for proof

I would say 'sorry, I can't make it' and then report her to whoever issued the disability pass AND the theatre.

Had a ‘similar’ situation a few years back when I used to volunteer with other women at a peer support group for new mums.

We weren’t particularly close, but there was a cliquey group who organised a special Christmas lunch and were oddly pushy about getting numbers.

About 10-12 of us went. I had a small pizza, half a dessert and maybe a glass of water. When it came to the bill, the clique spent ages working it out. I paid my share (plus extra!) and a tip, then realised they’d used buy-one-get-one-free vouchers, meaning they’d literally had free pizzas at everyone else’s expense!

I stopped volunteering there shortly afterwards. I’ve never forgotten how unpleasant and cheeky it was. Some people!

You'll be asked for proof of disability, turned away and lose your money.

I'd like to know about this too. I'm disabled (not mobility) and have never seen such a thing. It could be really useful.

Have you heard of the Nimbus Pass? @mrsm43s covers many disabilities!

Me too! Have had accessible headsets occasionally but not considered beyond that. Apparently some theatres now operate Auracast to link mics to compatible hearing aids.

How did she do this? In my experience ve had to send proof of disability to get an access card (or similar) and it has had my name on and only I can use it.

I think she’s supplied the details of someone else’s card, they may not even know!