Pet cremation

[Namechange26andabit]

What is the usual procedure when collecting your pet’s ashes from the vet?

Currently heartbroken again because my boy has not been treated with dignity.

Will have to name change now.

When our lovely girl cat was pts a couple of years ago the surgery were so kind - I had to be taken out a back door because I was unhinged. We had private cremation and the process for collecting her ashes sounds similar to what you describe, there’s a cabinet by the desk, and the ashes were passed to me by reception (it was actually a vet nurse who I spoke to) in a navy cardboard carrier like a gift bag. As it happened - purely coincidence - our vet appeared out of one of the consulting rooms and gave me a hug. I dropped a card for her in the surgery a week or so later, thanking her for all she did.

(Where I did get upset was when the crem rang me to say her ashes were ready and how did I want them. Possibly my own fault as I was at work and just about to teach a class, but I felt conned into paying ££ for an urn and wasn’t given the option of a cardboard tube.)

Your pet didn't suffer by a member of staff rummaging in a cubboard. I understand your grief but your pet is at peace.

I’ve had two pets cremated. Both times they got them out of a storage cupboard. The ashes were in a container, in a box and in a bag that does kind of look like a gift bag.

We got a card, a paw and a lock of fur.

I'm sorry for your loss and I know how devastating it is but I didn’t expect any more from the vets. My pet is currently still in a cupboard at home.

Sounds completely standard, have been through it a few times with different vet practises, and the 'rummaging' as you put it, of course they have to look through and check they have the correct ashes as it would be far more distressing to be given the wrong ashes, the last set of ashes I had returned came in a lovely paper carrier that went straight into recycling as I felt it couldn't be used for anything else, whilst you would have liked the option of a room sadly the cannot afford to just have an empty room waiting for times like this. It is devastating when you loose a pet as many don't understand the grief but be kind to yourself.

We had our pet cremated at a specific business set up for this. They couldn’t have been lovelier. We were treated with such kindness and told of a local walk we could do while it was done. We picked him up in a small scattering tube with a card that called him by name and referred to personal traits that we’d talked to them about. There was also a packet of forget me not seeds with the card to scatter at the same time. I think these things can be done so well or so badly. I’m sorry you had a bad experience.

I think that your understandable grief is clouding your judgment. The vet can't stop treating ill animals to give the room over to someone collecting ashes. My vet has 2 consulting rooms which are always busy. To take you into a room to hand over the ashes, someone who have to vacate the room meaning that a living pet who needs medical treatment doesn't get it. I am very sorry for your loss and how you feel but I can't really see what they did wrong or how it was disrespectful.

I'm afraid it's somewhat unreasonable to expect animals cremains to by default be treated the same as humans'. A vets office isn't a funeral home.
If you don't pay for a coffin or urn or whatever you think would be more dignified then the vet practice aren't going to be expected to supply it at their own expense.
They could have that side of things dealt with in a side room though. Rather than just in full view of reception.

My cat died last week. Still waiting for her ashes. They’ve always been very quick before.

Sounds perfectly normal to me.

The alternative to a git bag is a carrier bag - I liked the plain paper gift bag my cat and dog were returned in.

A cupboard is a normal place to store something safely.

Rummaging - well yes, chances are your pet is one of many hundreds taken through the same process this month.

Passing the ashes to you isn't ceremonial, it's transactional. There isn't a fluffy way to do this. Why would you need a separate room to receive them?

I'm sorry for your loss, but you're being massively unreasonable in your expectations.

I was back in the same room with the same vet a month they put my cat to sleep because my dog needed her jabs - should I have asked to be seen in another room? It was slightly discombobulating but I've been back in again several times since - it's part of life.

I got mine In a bag that looked like a gift bag. The ashes were In a box. What’s the issue with that.

I am sorry for your loss. I have a lot of experience in this, and I always ask if you would allow your GP to arrange the funeral of a human member of your family. Veterinary care and private cremation are two very different things and very different skill sets. Always use a local independent pet crematorium if you are looking for care and dignity. Vets have contracts with the national companies and make huge profits as the middle man.

Me too. When my Sheltie was put to sleep in April I was treated so kindly. My DH and I were in tears as was our lovely vet.

The receptionist gave my husband the ashes in a bag which contained the scatterbox, when he called to collect her. He just wanted to go in, get the ashes and get out without crying. I was not brave enough to go in.

It ls so difficult to lose a much loved pet @Namechange26andabit please don't dwell on this.