Pet cremation

[Namechange26andabit]

What is the usual procedure when collecting your pet’s ashes from the vet?

Currently heartbroken again because my boy has not been treated with dignity.

Will have to name change now.

My lovely boy was put to sleep last week. I arranged with the vet for cremation, paid, and was told I would get a phonecall from them when ashes are ready for collection. Could not fault the practice in how they dealt with everything.

I’ve just collected my boy’s ashes from the vet. I’m so heartbroken. He wasn’t treated with dignity.

So sorry for your loss, I completely underestimated how painful this would be. 😢💔

Our dog was cremated. The vets called me to collect the ashes; we were given a scatter tube and a laminated certificate to say she had been individually cremated. Tube and certificate handed to me in a carrier bag. The vet hugged me🥹

The receptionist rummaged in a cupboard, somebody asked what she was looking for and she said.

when the right bag was found it was brought to us in the waiting room in what looked like a gift bag.

if they needed to rummage surely the cupboard should at least be in a back room. I was crying while my baby was treated like crap. 😢

we were in there less than five minutes.

I was given a paper carrier bag too, and yes they looked in a cupboard for it and yes, it took less than 5 minutes too.

Not sure what you were expecting exactly? We didn't go for individual cremation when our cat died and just got a card in the post saying he'd gone on his final journey surrounded by his little friends. He is much missed by the way.

We paid for our dogs to have their ashes in a wooden box with a name plaque on and we were given an official cremation card with our dogs name and date on. When we collected them ( had 2 pass away), on both occasions the vet receptionist got the boxes from a cupboard in reception.
You're obviously very upset OP but I'm not sure what the vets have done wrong?

I had my boy cremated 3 weeks ago, collected from the vets by the crem. They called me 48 hrs later to say that he was ready to be brought home. They delivered to my work and the driver was so lovely and gave me a little gift bag, with my boy inside, a certificate and a lovely card. The vets rang later that day to say they had made me 3 cards with paw prints and nose boop prints along with 3 little bags of his fur for me and my kids.

I am so sorry that you feel your boy was not treated with respect. When you are not as emotional maybe go back and speak with the vets and explain how you felt at that moment.

@SeptemberRainsdid you feel this was disrespectful? @MissAmbrosia we paid for a private cremation. They could have been discreet and even taken us to a private room. It just feel so disrespectful and hurt as again. Humans would not be treated like this after cremation.

My vet didn't organise it but did recommend a local cremation service who organised everything once we had agreed on what we wanted/price. The vets just kept her body until the cremation people picked her up. It was lovely, and respectful, and we could choose her box etc, and we picked her up from the cremation place. I thought this was how all vets did it.

I think it might be worth sending an email to the practice manager once your grief is not as strong explaining how awful and disrespectful it was and suggesting the storage should be out of sight etc. It won't help you heal but it might help others in the future. I'm sorry for your loss

I've had many pets cremated over the years (individual cremation). I've been at two or three different vets over the years but the procedure is the same - vet receptionist rings me when the ashes are returned to them, and I go in to collect them. If I'm particularly upset I wait a week till I'm feeling strong enough. The receptionist finds the box which is in a plastic carrier, they hand it to me and express condolences. I am probably in there 2 or 3 minutes, I want to get out asap, I'm upset and don't want to stand around holding my cat's ashes.
I'm sorry for your loss OP.

@Namechange26andabit
No I didn’t feel it was remotely disrespectful at all.

Which bit did you feel was disrespectful. I ask as a manager of a vets practice wanting to get it right.
Ashes are returned to us with the choosen container inside a protective cardboard box. We then add fur clip ins and paw prints if the owner choose this.
We keep them in a cupboard till they are collected to protect them from being knocked or having things put on to of them. When the owner arrives we collect them from the cupboard we may need to move other ashes around to find yours as we have around 6 sets of ashes returned to us a week. We place them in a bag that could be described as a gift bag, but has the same colour scheme as the cardboard box top make it easy for the ashes to be carried home.
Sadly we are incredible tight on space and literally have no where to have a private room to hand over ashes. We do try to be as discrete and respectful as possible. I ask to try and ensure at my practice we get things as respectful as possible.
I am sorry that collecting your pets ashes was upsetting.

My experience was that their ashes were in a box, in a gift bag, which itself was in a plastic bag.

I went in and they picked the bag up off the floor behind the reception and handed it to me.

I don’t find that disrespectful.

im sorry you’re upset.

When i picked up my dad's ashes he was returned in a container in a tasteful gift bag.
Not had a pet cremated but had a lovely card signed from everyone at the vets when we lost our last dog.
Maybe give it a bit of time and speak to the vets about your concerns then.
Sorry for your loss x

Dog died at home, cremation service collected from house and delivered him back a few days later.

Young man in shirt and tie stood on doorstep. Said "I've brought him home"

Was lovely and awful all at the same time

Vet had assessed week before and was in no pain so he came home and finally just fell asleep in the kitchen. Had phoned the crematorium when brought him home and they were awesome, just said to call when it happened and they fetched him within the hour.

I dont see that what they did was disrespectful.

Im sorry how your lovely pet, I know how hard it is. He's home with you now, get him settled into his final resting place. (Or she, obvs.)

I was given the wrong ashes and only noticed when I got home. I was devastated. I then had the trauma of taking them back and getting my boys.

Our vets keep ashes in a locked cupboard behind the reception desk, i went with my sister to pick up her dogs ashes, sounds similar to your experience, the bag i think was fine gives you something to carry rather than just the box . How did you think you were going to carry it out with dignity if it wasn't in a bag ?

That sounds standard procedure tbh.
I got my mum's ashes back in the reception area of the funeral home, and they had to go hunting for them. What else are they meant to do but hand them over?

@NeedanadultgapyearFirstly thank you for being willing to listen. I felt it was disrespectful to be rummaging in the reception area. Maybe the bag is okay, but the silver and white looked like a gift bag and there was nothing to celebrate. We have had other problems with the vet, so this was just another bit that we weren’t happy with.

A relative collected from a crematorium and while I accept they are geared only to this, it was respectful and private. This felt so much like handing over something of no meaning.

I completely think that at the least the cupboard should not be in reception, as this hurt while they were searching. I said this and how disrespectful it was, we were then told to sit down. A short while later somebody carried the bag to us in reception.

I expected to be treated kindly, not like I had picked up some shopping.

Maybe the trauma recently has clouded us already, but I honestly think I would be shocked if somebody told me this.

I can’t see anything disrespectful, nor what you actually thought would happen.

i understand how painful it is, and we’ve had to do it twice this summer sadly, but that sort of process is just the way it’s done.

With a pick up it’s quick - in and out. It’s a very emotional time and they won’t want to put any more strain on people. The “gift bag” is a nice touch. It’s more than functional, it shows a little thought.

Our practice then sends a condolence card a little while later.

Please don’t think that nobody cared, they did but it is also a practical process that it’s hard to gloss over.

@Needanadultgapyear
What you do is absolutely fine in my eyes and mirrors my experience. My vet practice has no private rooms and is also short on space.

They forgot all about it.
I had to ask thrice for the ashes before it was retrieved from the crematorium. Handed over in the reception by a random member of staff.
We never used that ved again.
But - the pet didn't feel anything. It was my pain.