Advice needed on a tricky situation

[OFHelp]

Hello
My ds is part of a sports team. The team has two coaches with one of those being new this year. As parents we have minimal interaction with coaches other than a whatsapp chat where we comment each week on our kids availability for training and matches.
This morning I get a random whatsapp from the new coach asking if I am single as he has a friend that is interested in me. Very odd being as though I have never even spoken to this man but ok he doesn't know me so I politely reply stating that I am in a relationship so not interested. About an hour later I get another message from him saying thats a shame im not single as he was actually asking for himself and wants to know if i would like to meet him in secret this week for a bit of fun???? Wtf!! Just to add in this coach is married with a kid (who is in the team). His wife turns up at matches and they are always hugging and holding hands so clearly they are together.
I have left him on radio silence with no response but what the hell do i do here??? I hate any kind of drama so im inclined to just keep quiet about the whole thing as its the easy option for me but i feel so sorry for his wife and kid. This bloke doesnt even know me so clearly i assume he is a serial sleaze and i am far from the first woman he has done this to. I haven't even mentioned it to my partner as he will go mental and kick off with him.
I have my receipts as I noticed that he had set the messages to disappearing messages so i managed to screenshot them before they disappeared so I am able to prove my total innocence in the whole situation.
Am I right to keep quiet? I feel so guilty even though I have done absolutely nothing wrong. All advice welcome thanks :-)

Is the team part of a club? Just wondering if you could talk to someone there or the other coach?

Are you definitely sure it came from the new coach and not someone else using his phone?

I think this is a safeguarding concern and must be reported to his manager. If he is willing to cheat on his partner and "have a bit of fun" with you is he a danger to the children? It needs checked.

Im 99.9% sure it is him. Hes clearly got my number off the main whatsapp group and it is the exact same number and photo as that one.

Speak to him in front of his wife and ask if he’s been hacked.

It could be his wife or someone who got hold of his phone - unlikely I know. But I would definitely mention it to the safeguarding lead at the club (if there is one) or the other coach.

Oh come off it, morally wrong yes but a danger to children??? You have no proof of that at all.

Yes thats what has been playing on my mind a bit today. I think i just feel so bad as basically the team will cease if we only have one coach. We struggled for months to find a replacement when we knew the last coach was leaving and this guy stood up at the last minute as no-one else wanted to do it. Two coaches are the minimum requirement to keep the club going. But at the same time why should I be ok with a sleaze coaching my child and others

Someone’s got his phone and is playing silly buggers.

I like your thinking but there is no way i could hqve the confidence to do that. Plus his poor poor wife in that situation she would be devastated.

Keep the receipts but say nothing for now. You don't know 100% that he sent the message himself and you don't need to get dragged into further dialogue with him. If further messages come in discuss it with your partner.

Thank you. I feel like this is the approach that I feel most comfortable with.
If it was him (which I am almost certain it was) then i just can't get over what an absolute sleazeball he is. Its just shocking that he thinks that he can send messages like that!

The safeguarding lead person at the club can check all those details. It has to be investigated.

I would answer no thank you, then ignore.

More messages I would ask him what the f*ck he was doing face2face.

How old are the kids? Teens? It really is brazen. Could it have been hacked by a mate or someone else. What time was the message sent?

Sorry yes I should have mentioned that the original message was sent in the early hours at 3am. I didnt reply until i got up and saw the message at 7am and then he replied at about 8am with his offer of fun.

I think you should't just block without sending a really strong response back that says something along the lines of absolutely not, I have told you I am in a relationship. I am not and never will be interested.

Send and block. Keep all the receipts. Don't embarrass him in front of his wife as someone suggested earlier because that would actually embarrass the wife which is gross. Just make it clear that there is zero chance of anything happening, block and then monitor how he is IRL.

I have sent a reply stating that the messages he sent have made me feel extremely uncomfortable and i made it very clear i was in a relationship and i dont want to engage in any further communication with him. I wanted to wait until he had read it so i could screenshot it as part of my receipts and i got an imediate reply saying sorry he messed up with a crying face. Wtf!!! Anyway hes now blocked. Now i just need to pull on my big girl pants and go to my son's training on wednesday without worrying to death about seeing him.

Well done OP, that's exactly what I would have done as well. Sleazy bastard! Go to training with your head help high and ignore him completely - he's the one who should be embarrassed and ashamed, not you!

His wife knows he’s a cheater sadly, that’s why there’s so much performative hugging and holding hands.

@LittleWeasel yes I totally think she must be aware poor woman. If he's so brazen as to message me when he barely knows me and is prepared to take such a risk when I am around his wife on a weekly basis then there must be hundreds of other women he has and is messaging. Christ he needs to take a bath of bleach he is so grubby 😶

So I blocked him on whatsapp but silly me forgot to block via other methods and tonight I get a text from him apologising again and asking whether I've told anyone. Im not going to reply. Its quite enjoyable knowing he's worrying 😆

Tell him that you are going to report him to the police for harassment.

Just walk in there with your head held high and if he says anything to you tell him in no uncertain terms that if he ever tries to engage with you again he will be reported

Might be kids messing on his phone

If he's replied immediately it's very unlikely someone else is using his phone and cheaters tend to keep their phone close at all times. He's going to worry now in case you've told anyone so be extra wary of him Op, he'll try to get you alone so dodge him as much as possible. Would it be possible for your DS to move teams or for a relative to take your DS for a few weeks?