Sister took my niece’s birthday money

[ScrumbleMonkey]

My niece is about to turn 9. I asked her whether there was anything in particular I could buy her for her birthday or if she’d just like money like last year.
She replied that she’d rather I took her out for lunch, to not go to too much trouble, and that her Mum (my sister) and Dad ‘borrowed’ her birthday money last year to go to the pub, but they keep saying they’ll pay it back.
Bearing in mind this was a year ago and I gave her a £50 note. Which is an exciting thing to have for anyone.
Aibu to be concerned for her. What parents steal a child’s birthday money? I absolutely believe her by the way. I won’t go into the history but I have every reason to believe her. She’s a very sensible and reliable child.
I’m just wondering if anyone might have any advice, really.

Yeah that’s pretty crap I’d stick to presents/or outings. Maybe if you get your sis gifts slip next years and get her dd something instead

Wow, that’s shitty. I’d be putting aside a bit every month for her for when she’s a bit older, and only take her out for a meal on her birthday. Or maybe take her shopping for a cute jumper or boots?

I would stick to taking her out and doing something special on her birthday. I would also consider putting away a bit of money a Christmas and on birthdays that you might have given her and then giving her a nice lump sum on her 21st.
I’m not sure what you can do about the parents as they clearly lack a moral compass so probably better to channel your energy into giving your niece your time and nice memories. That will go much further than birthday cash.

Or a voucher for Toy shop?

That's pretty shit and something a lot of MNetters say they do (although they normally say they pay it back).

How about a trip to the theatre or something?

I'd mention to your sister that you'd asked DN what she'd bought with her birthday money last year and that she'd said she'd lent it to DSIS. Ask her when she plans to return it.

This is why I would never gift money to a child young and/or impressionable enough that their parents could get their hands on it.
Pay it into her bank account or trust fund/Junior ISA or get her a voucher for a kid’s shop next time.
How scummy.

Tell your sister to pay it back to you and then take your niece out shopping for double presents.

I agree with the pp who say take her out for a nice treat lunch somewhere nice like the disney cafe and then take her to toy or clothes shop afterwards.

It was shitty of her parents to do that but that money is gone now so not much you can do.

My ExH was forever ‘borrowing’ the kids birthday/christmas/easter/pocket money. I was always paying it back! He loved spending, especially other people’s money……unauthorised overdrafts, loans he couldn’t pay back, etc. If she wants you to take her to lunch (or a day out, etc) I’d just do that. Or items of clothing or whatever.

If DS still hasn’t paid it back, for DS and DBiL’s birthdays get them nothing, just a card and say they will now no longer have to pay DN back and you will buy her something extra special as she had to wait a year. Don’t give her anything they can get their hands on.

Is that typical behaviour for your sister? It’s quite an extreme thing to do. Is there any possibility your niece is lying?

If your sibling is the kind of parent to steal a child’s money, then the best gift you can give your niece is your time.

A family member of ours used to use the money her kids got in cards to pay for their parties. I had no idea growing up but my Mum knew and made a point of always buying them a present instead of giving cash.

My mother's sister would take money out of my cousins cards for herself or regift presents they'd been given

My mother got round this by writing their names in marker pen all over the box

Caused a shit show but worth it

Sadly it’s very typical behaviour.

Exactly what my sister used to do. I take my nieces out shopping with the money instead and taken for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Edited to add was a waste of time confronting her as she's always babbled nonsense.

And then if that causes a fallout and OP is stopped from seeing her niece?

Your poor niece - take her for an outing and let her choose to buy something when out.

Love someone’s suggestion further up of saving a little each year for her too - I think she’s going to need it

With a mother like that thank goodness she has you around.

Do you intend to challenge your sister on this?

Please don't tell your sister you know. It could get your DN into trouble. You don't want your DN to lose trust in disclosing things to you. With parents like that it sounds like a trusted adult is very much needed.

My mum used to do this regularly. She cashed in my savings stamps when I was at school. We weren’t hard up particularly, she just liked new shoes and clothes.

Shit but not shocked. My friend saved up all his money from his paper round to buy a Tamia remote controlled car off a las at school. Maybe £100 at the time.

Only had it a week and got home one day and his dad had stripped out all of the electronics to install in his RC boat. No offer to reimburse or replace. Called him soft when he cried.

There are some awful humans on this planet. Be the best auntie she will never forget it xx

Ps personally I’d take her somewhere you know your sister would love and can’t afford but that’s me !

I'd offer to take her shopping and make sure you remove the tags from anything you buy for her before sending her home with them x