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Considering a GP appointment after lifelong struggles with friendships and overwhelm

58 replies

HulkHogansHair · 07/09/2026 08:21

So ever since I remember I've been 'odd' I have booked a Gp appointment. These are my symptoms ...
As a child talked to myself, lived in a fantasy land. I was popular in primary but struggled with being highly strung and I used to tell lies and create situations. I couldn't let anything go either.
As I got older I struggled to keep friends. They'd be intense for a year or so then avoid me basically. I was friends with some girls and I was the joke basically. Ive struggled in jobs feeling overwhelmed then cried at times. How embarrassing. I didnt function well in relationships. Id choose people with issues that I thought id fix and they'd be so grateful to me. Bloody odd
Any ideas ?

OP posts:
Lifestooshort71 · 07/09/2026 11:42

BallerinaFall · 07/09/2026 09:54

I agree that simply having few friends, or struggling to maintain friendships, isn't in itself a symptom of autism. That would be far too simplistic, and it's not how autism is diagnosed.
For me, as someone diagnosed later in life, the important distinction is that the diagnostic criteria aren't about the number of friends you have. They're about a persistent pattern of differences in social communication and social interaction across contexts — including things like social-emotional reciprocity, interpreting and using non-verbal communication, and developing, maintaining and understanding relationships.
So the relationship part isn't simply “you don't have many friends.” It can include things like finding it difficult to know how to adjust your behaviour across different social situations, understanding the unwritten rules of relationships, making or maintaining friendships, or knowing how to navigate the back-and-forth of relationships.
And that's only one part of the assessment. For an autism diagnosis, there also have to be persistent restricted or repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests or activities, with at least two of the specified characteristics, alongside evidence that these differences were present in the developmental period and have a clinically significant impact.
That's particularly important for people like me who were diagnosed later, because I spent years assuming that the difficulties I had with people, relationships, sensory experiences, change, communication and so on were just personal failings, personality, anxiety or me being “too emotional”. Looking back, the assessment wasn't about finding one thing I couldn't do, like maintain friendships. It was about recognising a much broader pattern that had been there throughout my life.
So yes, I'd agree that saying “not being able to maintain friendships is a symptom of autism” on its own is an oversimplification. But difficulties with developing, maintaining and understanding relationships can be relevant evidence within an autism assessment. The important thing is the wider, persistent pattern and the context around it.

My response to the OP didn't warrant a clinical description of how an autism diagnosis is carried out. Was it a ChatGPT-generated reply perhaps?

Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 07/09/2026 11:47

Talking to yourself, being in a fantasy land is very very normal in childhood. Most children have active imaginations. My 11 year old daughter creates vivid imaginary worlds and I remember doing the same thing. That’s normal in childhood if you have a big imagination. I do also think it’s very normal to change friendships too. I’m not sure what the GP could do but I suppose if you ask them for an ND assessment, they could refer you. But a lot of what you’ve said sounds like normal human behaviour. Everyone is flawed, makes mistakes, gets into bad relationships, makes and loses friends, makes bad decisions. It’s part of being human. If it means you’re ND then no one would be NT.

likelysuspect · 07/09/2026 11:47

You just have to accept the person you are, this is you. A diagnosis isnt going to change it. You can understand yourself and accept yourself without it, you've written very particularly about exactly what the issue is, too intense in the first stages and then of course it fizzles out

You have a good marriage by the sounds of it, enjoy it and your chlid and spend more time thinking about your strengths and abilities and what that has enabled you to do

we all feel odd OP, Im a bit tired of seeing this bandied around as some sort of marker of pathology, its the human condition. We are animals with too much insight in a way!!

Seajaye · 07/09/2026 12:28

Not all friends last a lifetime. Friends are often situational or circumstantial. Do not worry if ex work colleagues or old school friends or ex neighbours move on in life and appear to forget you . That's very common and normal . Most people don't ever have more than 3 close friends in a whole lifetime. Some have no close friends, but still have friends. Perhaps you are in the latter group.

If you are at home with a husband and child and juggling the school run and work and everything else, it can difficult to make new friends in that situation. It may l change as your circumstances change when you have more time to invest in your interests..

Talking therapies may help with low self esteem and other underlying issues . The GP might be able to treat Anxiety with prescription drugs. Sometimes a diagnosis of a condition helps, some times it makes no difference.

viques · 07/09/2026 13:17

HulkHogansHair · 07/09/2026 08:50

I exercise 4 times a week and walk 8000 steps a day

Good start.

onyxtulip · 16/09/2026 21:13

Kindly, this feels like unhelpful navel gazing. Are you working? Do you have a busy and interesting life?

HulkHogansHair · 17/09/2026 22:45

onyxtulip · 16/09/2026 21:13

Kindly, this feels like unhelpful navel gazing. Are you working? Do you have a busy and interesting life?

See above answers.

OP posts:
OrangeFlower14 · 17/09/2026 22:55

What do you think the GP will do?

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