Would you find this a red flag in a new partner?

[Cryinglightning45]

Agreed to a day trip to see some of his friends who live a couple of hours away, then he was supposed to stay at mine that night.
Very early start, the plan for the day sounded vague but I said it'd be nice to meet his friends.
I just mentioned to him "You don't think we'll be back super late in the evening do you? Just as I've got work early the next morning (start at 06:30) and might just need to get a couple of bits ready.

He looked a bit annoyed when I said that, and said 'stop worrying, I don't think we will but I don't know what the plan is' and sort of rolled his eyes.
I replied 'no worries, I'm just asking'.
I'm not trying to be a killjoy or say we must leave incredibly early, but I don't think it's a big deal for an adult to want to have a vague idea of timings especially working the next day. I didn't appreciate his response.

You said..."You don't think we'll be back super late in the evening do you"

When you should have said
"I want to be back for 9pm" or whatever time you want to be back for.

But yes, yanbu, he sounds flaky and selfish

Firstly… if you’re asking the question… it’s dead in the water no matter the answer.

Secondly… anyone roll their eyes at me for this when they barely know me? No. Way. Would I see them again

Sadly I suspect… you will though

He's not very considerate is he ! It's a perfectly reasonable question. If you need to be up at 5.30 for a working day, you need to be home at a reasonable hour.

I'd work out the timings now, and say you need to leave by ?pm so there is no disagreement on the day. Will you be reliant on him for getting home?

True..
Whether he 'knows what the plan is' or not, i don't think I'm out of order to want to agree on a reasonable time to leave? Especially as we'll be with his mates from around 08:30am in the morning.

It's how he made out like i was stressing and worrying, i literally just asked the question.

Tbh, id just cut my losses and run now...

Op if you find yourself starting a thread asking this kind of question about a new partner… wrap it up.

Question is… are you going to?

Gosh early start. How long have you been seeing him. Everyone can be grumpy. But he does seem ott. Is it a bit early in the relationship to be meeting his mates. Id be cautious that this might not be going anywhere.

In think he sounds incompatible. He is already acting like a petulant child who doesn't want to be nagged by his mother and is unable to make firm friends. You need a real adult who understands responsibilities like having work the next day.

How did the visit go? Did you meet the friends? Did they provide further enlightenment into this man-childs life?

As pp has said, you needed to make a statement, not ask a question. ‘’I have work early tomorrow, I need to be back at X time so it would be helpful if the plan could be a bit more fixed, otherwise I can’t make it, sorry.

I’d also be fucked off at his cheek. His reaction was unnecessary and so disrespectful. I’d be tempted to tell him I’m not going at all, ever, because the relationship was over after that. Cheeky twat, he is 🤨

I would have opened the time u needed to.be back once the idea was pitched. The matter of sleep would be my priority, even if all 'bits' had been .seen to. Being dismissed like that would wind me up. I shows a level of disrespect.

I get it. He was making out you were nagging when you’d asked a perfectly reasonable question. And he should be considering that you will be tired and have commitments and basically showing some care towards you.

Rolling his eyes? You under reacted. I expect you then felt you couldn’t leave when you wanted as he’d set you up to be compliant. Start of a bad dynamic. Yes. Red flag.

If you're stressing and worrying and all he does is try to shut you down, rather than come up with a plan to ensure you get back to enable you to work the next day, then you need to see that as a warning sign of things to come.

if your job is better/higher earning than his, he probably wants to derail you, because he can't bear the thought of you getting on in life. Low life, it sounds like.

Blimey, if it's early in the relationship and you're meeting his mates for the first time, then a couple of hours max would have been ok. Why on earth was it necessary to meet them at 08:30 and spend a whole day, especially when you have 2hrs travelling? Like others, I would have been firm in saying I'm ok to do the trip, but I have to be back by X'oclock due to work the next day, if he'd have shown any annoyance at that, especially rolling his eyes, then he'd be in the bin.

I can just feel this is the start of his inconsiderate behaviour and going onto calling you a nag... don't put up with this. You don't need to. Seriously just look into the future and him continously rolling his eyes at you, believing his time is more important. I don't think you will, I think you will stay but you will regret this in time. It's the lack of respect that gets me with these type of men. Don't put up with it. Find someone who respects your time.

If I was working early I would have just said to him I would give it a miss this time tbh

You're not being unreasonable to have a plan for your working day

He sounds as if he doesn't give a shit.

Do you usually date men who don't give a shit?

Are you going @Cryinglightning45 ? You have your answer that he isn't a good partner from very early in, so now you need to ask yourself if you are ending this or letting yourself be controlled going forward.

I think if you can’t talk about something so basic and simple without it being difficult or getting a narky response from him, and worrying about it after, then things aren’t looking good.
its obviously upset you enough to post on here and I wouldn’t like this response either. My partner has never rolled his eyes at me (other than jokingly) and that’s not how I’d expect a new partner to react to me especially.

I don’t think it’s a red flag that he got annoyed by your question, maybe you had asked several times & he had already given you an answer. If rolling eyes at you upsets you so much maybe don’t be in a relationship…with anyone

maybe you had asked several times & he had already given you an answer.
That is not what OP says happened.

I would be angry if someone rolled their eyes at me

Been married nearly 20 years and I dont think either of us has ever "rolled our eyes" at the other in the way you describe.
Hes telling you who he is. Believe him.

I wouldn’t be going on this day trip after that response and given the lack of any kind of plans. My free time is too precious.