Next doors child always in my house

[Kidsalwayshere]

As per my username (name changed for this), the kid is always here!!
Next door have a great granddaughter (a few grandchildren actually) but one has been coming every day since last weekend. She is being bought over by her grandmother who she is with for the week (the actual parents are not very involved).
They’ll pull up in the car, drop her off to her great grandparents, stay a bit, tell her to knock for our son and drive off saying “we’ll be back in an hour”. The purpose of the trip is for her to spend time with her great grandparents but at this point she doesn’t see them 10 mins before she’s with us.
My son likes playing with her, but I’ve had enough! It’s 6 days in a row now. Sometimes we just want to do nothing. She comes in and says “ I want a drink”. She has literally come from next door. She asks “are you going anywhere today and tomorrow.” And if we say yes, we get “why are you always out”. She asks why our car wasn’t there at certain times. I feel spied on 😂
I feel like I’m being used for child care at this point and whilst she is a kid, surely the adults are not that cheeky… are they?! They’re normally ok neighbours (the man can be moody and shouty and I knew their son from back in the day, he’s horrible, been in jail a few times, that’s another story!).

At the start of the week I was giving her dinner as well, I’ve stopped that. She gets squash and whatever snacks my son has out. Foot down last night and said she needed to go home when my son was having his tea as we were having a quiet night. I had “can I stay for tea. Can we play after tea”. I said no and walked her back.
Aaannnnd here she is again.. dropped off, her grandmother has driven off and her great grandparents have no responsibility over her.
Just needed to vent!
AIBU to say tomorrow, nope, she’s not coming in and my son isn’t playing with her, or is that shit? My son does have a busy morning tomorrow, plans with school friends, but I see that car pull up and think ffs, again!
My son did go in next door once but it’s very much an older persons house, no toys, disabled adaptions so it’s not fun for them. I can see why she wants to come here but why don’t the adults responsible organise fun things for her then?!?

To add im happy when my son has friends over, he’s got lovely little pals, and he goes over their houses as well, but 6 days in a row of “I need a drink, where have you been, where will you be tomorrow” is getting to me! Thanks for reading, if you read it all.

I don’t plan on hiding my car or saying we’ve got online courses or whatever was suggested above, but thanks to everyone for their comments

They’ll pull up in the car, drop her off to her great grandparents, stay a bit, tell her to knock for our son and drive off saying “we’ll be back in an hour”. The purpose of the trip is for her to spend time with her great grandparents but at this point she doesn’t see them 10 mins before she’s with us.

And there you have it.
A quick word with the Parents telling them to stop assuming that this is okay, and then firmly tell them that it is definitely not is required.
They are not dropping off their daughter to see the Grandparents, they are actually telling her to see you and your child. (free childcare with food)

You can then tell them what is acceptable to you and what is not.
Stop being a doormat.

I have stopped being a door mat! Thanks all

The DGC have just been dropped off, they are staying over. We got talking about phones, friends and meeting up with friends and my DGD 15, asked how young people would arrange meeting up if they didn’t have their phones. She laughed and said “I would just have to turn up at their houses and knock on the door”.

I said that is exactly what we used to do. We would knock the door, Jenny’s mum or dad would open the door and we would say politely “can Jenny come out to play?

Jenny’s’ mum or dad would say “yes” , “no not today” or “she’s having her tea/bath/watching tv” or whatever.

Sometimes parents had to send the overstayers “shouldn’t you be getting off home now?”, or the too frequent visitors home. It was normal.

Well done Op. Off topic but why did you need to walk an almost 9yr old to the house next door?

so if I have this right, 6 yr old is in the care of the grandparents.. you said parents are not involved? Is this a guardianship arrangement? If so this is potentially a safeguarding issue

i would be concerned that child is being left with inappropriate adults

are great grandparents able to care appropriately

call local safeguarding team and raise your concerns

if I’m way off and missed the point then yeah they’re taking the piss

otherwise this is potentially neglect

I don’t think it’s a case of YABU or not, it’s a preference. Some houses are just the houses that all the kids flock towards an ld other houses the kids just know they aren’t allowed in. We naturally fell into one of the houses kids come to and now mine are teens it’s the same. It wasn’t something I actively planned but I never had a problem with kids coming in and out. If the kids were pissing me off, I’d just say to them all (mine included) if you’d want to play you have to go outside. I thought initially your son didn’t want to play, but he’s enjoying it. I’d tell him he can have a snack and drink before he goes out and otherwise just play outside. You say you want a day to stay in PJs, I would do it. She’s not going to judge!

I wouldn’t take huge responsibility as in there’s no need to walk her in next door going home. If they are happy for her to play outside or in yours then when you are fed up, just tell her and say goodbye at the door.

as I said it’s personal preference but wouldn’t bother me. It would bother me if they were going out for the day and expecting me to mind her but the great grandparents are there.

I think this is a sign of the times and the grandparents, while clearly disinterested in the child are a product of a time where neighbouring children playing together would have been standard and not meticulously planned. Personally I would say to DS yes she can come over but it's a play in the garden day and she goes back to grandparents at mealtimes and don't change any plans to accommodate her visit.

It might just be that the kids agree to play together but without asking an adult. So the morning comes and the girl says we said we ll play there today and they drop her off. My son is playing lots with a girl from another house down the road and they keep organising things for other days the two of them without asking me. And there are few times that the girl showed up and asking for my son to play with. FYI they are both 6-7 years old

Hard to describe the lay out but you can take a short cut instead of walking around the long way (which takes seconds), but short cut involves jumping down a wall, which she does, so easier to help her do that and make sure she doesn’t get hurt I suppose 🤷🏻‍♀️

Shes in Greece, it’s been quiet. Honestly, even when she’s back, she’s more than welcome once or twice a week, it was the 6 days in a row that was getting to me.

Can you speak? Do you have a voice?

Indeed I can, and I do