AIBU to think there may be dangers in this?

[allthingsinmoderation]

To think there are dangers in this?
My son aged 20 yrs just asked my opinion and his sisters aged 23 yrs opinion of this issue, opinions appreciated.
My son is on an online dating app, he has recently come out of a long term relationship of 2 yrs and wanted more casual encounters . Hes honest about that.
He generally is attracted to slightly older women so didnt give a very young age bracket. He matched with a woman aged 42 yrs . They messaged a bit and seemed to get on ,then arranged to meet. She then said she was married and her husband agreed to an open marriage. Thats when things got a bit unusual. She said her husband had selected my sons profile for her and that she wanted to meet at her home for sex and it would be videod and later her husband would like to sit in and watch.
My son is not keen and wonders if there are dangers in this.
My DD says he should run for the hills as this video will end up on only fans or hell be blackmailed...
Is she right?

This is completely weird. Why are you even asking this question? I get that we’re all liberal and non-judgemental these days (not me) but why would he even consider doing something that makes him uncomfortable?

How about he finds a nice girl that he loves to have sex with?! That’s usually the safest option.

To be quite honest, I would be ashamed of my son if he even considered this for one moment.

I would not advise this to anyone. Yes, it's legal to have open marriages and sex with any adult, but this does not sound a good or safe situation.

Of course it’s dangerous . Could be a bloke messaging him.

Christ almighty. Could be anyone waiting to chop him to pieces. You have no idea who they are!

Exactly it’s mad and so dangerous.
Not sure why OP would think otherwise it’s a no brainer.

More danger for the woman probably, as always.

Tell your son to be mindful in the same way he always would be, and always use contraception. Standard rules for anyone in online dating.

No!
Please do your best to talk him out of it.

I'm sure there are easier ways to have a quick shag... whatever happened to one night stands?

Erm NO

Surely any mother or sister’s normal reaction without hesitation would be to say no way and steer well clear.

Come on he’s far too young to be involved in that sort of shit.

Looks like MN are hoping this one will run and run.

i get it you don't believe this is true.
I assure you it is .

Thank you for the replies .
Most people seem to be in agreement with my DD and i that this is indeed potentially dangerous and unwise. My son agrees .

If he's any sense he will pass up on this opportunity .
So many dangers.
There will be safer ways for him to meet up for casual encounter surely .

Agree with your DD.

This. With bells and whistles.

My son is aware he has bodily autonomy and never needs to consent to anything he doesn't want.
He is also aware he can choose to discuss any issue with whoever he chooses.
He can ask the opinions of whoever he chooses and make his own decisions.

Your DD is 100% right, DS is crazy to even think about it.

This is a kink and normal for many people, who am we to judge? But you're son has already said he isn't keen! Consent to something like this needs to be enthusiastic. You need to make him aware of his worth and tell him he doesnt have to do anything he isn't 100% sure about, which he isn't. There is also the danger of the video ending up on the Internet, which is likely, and him being vulnerable and outnumbered.

Oh good lord! Absolutely run for the hills!

If he were my son I would strongly discourage this. Unless he is prepared for filming to be shared. More casual dating/sex is one thing ,but this sounds like he'd be getting in way too deep too soon. Unlike some other posters I would be glad that my child had the confidence in my judgement to ask advice before going into a potentially dangerous situation of any kind. I know young people have to find their own way in life, but 20 is young.

bokes

Sounds extremely sleazy and unsavoury at best.

Really would advise against.

You need to ask the internet if you should tell your son this is a stupidly bad idea and not to do it?

So your son, the person who has been asked to do this, thinks it’s potentially unsafe and doesn’t want to do it. Yet, he needs the advice of his mother and his sister (and a bunch of random women on the internet) in order to make a decision on his sex life, one he doesn’t want to do anyway.

He likes older women and seeks advice from his mother regarding sex, do you think there might be some sort of oedipal syndrome there, or domination fetish? Or is it just the summer holidays?