Unauthorised school trip

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Name changed for this as may be very outing. Penis beaker, Scottish mummy, Korean granny etc

Bit long, sorry.

14yo brought letter home and was really enthusiastic for a school trip to a theme park.so I booked and paid, bit expensive but I don't want them to miss out.

3 days before they started saying they didn't want to go, basically because they wanted to see a special showing of musical the other end of the country and tickets had come up on twickets. I said no to their new plan, it would have cost a fortune anyway for hotel and travel.

14yo still complaining 2 days before trip. Night before trip they came home from school and proper kicked off about how they hated theme parks, weren't going, had nothing to wear (humourless lol at that) and had said all along they didn't want to go (double humourless lol), why was I so stupid to pay for it and so on.

It was turned 4pm and the reception staff had finished so sent a panicked email to the organiser to say 14yo had refused to go slightly glossing reason, not knowing if it was too late and teachers would be wondering where they were at silly o'clock the next morning. Luckily the organiser picked it up.

9-10pm ish, it must have sunk in that expensive theatre trip wasn't happening and rude, spoilt 14yo had another kick off demanding to go. Too late, nothing I could do, you can't mess people around like that anyway. 14yo threatened to just turn up but I explained the teachers couldn't take them because they were no longer on the list which didn't go.down well but tough.

Next morning I got them up and out to school for the normal day despite strenuous attempts at refusal. 14yo has to learn that choices have consequences, this would be a very mild consequence. The theme park trip had long gone by this point.

So - expected 14yo to be safe in school all day.

14yo got home from school and it turned out they'd been offered a place on an alternative extra-curricular, not linked to schoolwork, smaller off-site trip and they said yes... I knew nothing about it, hadn't paid and obviously wouldn't have authorised it anyway.

This really is long!

Massive safeguarding issue, if anything had happened 14yo wouldn't have been covered by insurance. Contacted school immediately. Teacher had felt sorry for the little so-and-so left behind and asked them. I am not happy in the slightest and made that clear. Also had to pay for this bloody trip after wasting theme park money, that's by-the-by because it should have been used but I didn't want a further bill.

I get the impression the school wants to sweep the safeguarding aspect under the carpet as all communication from them has very carefully skirted around this issue. WIBU to follow this up in no uncertain terms after the holidays? I get that the teacher felt like they were being kind and don't necessarily want them punished for being nice but I'm really not happy. Anything could have happened but luckily didn't and they should have at least asked for permission before taking 14yo off site for an extra-curricular.

You’re technically right but honestly focus on the fact that your kid is the cock in this story

Deduct BOTH TRIPS from their pocket money and shrug when they complain

I'm afraid that school seriously undermined you. I would be furious! I would certainly take it up with school after the holidays, they should not take pupils off-site without permission/insurance. Have you signed a blanket permission slip at sometime, which allows for spur of the moment outings (usually on foot)?

Too right my 14yo is the total cock and that's putting it mildly. I'm just really concerned about safeguarding. Imagine if they took a pupil offsite and something went wrong? It's front page of the local paper stuff. Does it happen often as well? The raging dickhead 14yo doesn't negate risky decisions. I certainly don't want the nice teacher to have the niceness metaphorically stamped out of them but there's still this problem.

I've signed for educational stuff, not the kind of trip the child was taken on.

Why did you cancel the school trip? You had no plans to go to the theatre. Why didn't you tell them upfront that they signed up for the school trip and they are expected to go? Sounds messy.

It’s not unusual for schools to ask parents to sign a blanket permission slip for off site visits as this then means they don’t have to do specific slips for eg each hockey game, football practice at the pitch down the road etc.

schools that do this (most of them) then usually do do specific slips as well for big paid for trips.

so you may find you have technically given permission.

if it’s an activities week type thing it may be that all (or virtually all) the school were out on various trips on that day - I used to be the person who stayed behind to run activities for those who for various usually disability related reasons couldn’t do any of the trips.

I can't see how this is a safeguarding or insurance issue to be honest?

Also doesn't seem like you told the school there was any discipline aspect of your child not going.

The only thing the school have done wrong is charge you for the second trip, I wouldn't pay it.

What do you think is the safeguarding issue?
Child was on a trip supervised by school staff, I can't see what harm you're imagining?

Schools can't take children on separate paid-for extra-curriculars without permission, if 14yo twit had an accident, however slight, the liability insurance would have been invalidated. Not totally unlikely, they're quite accident-prone.

14yo was refusing to go on the main trip so of course I had to let the school know, it would have been far worse if they'd hung around waiting in the morning at their very early start time.

I can see why you were annoyed, but I think there are two separate issues here.
Your 14-year-old refusing to go on the original trip and then changing their mind too late is one thing. I don’t think you were wrong to stick to your decision. We all have to learn that last-minute changes have consequences.

The school taking them on a different trip is another matter. I wouldn’t automatically call it a safeguarding issue though.

At our school, a 14-year-old wouldn’t necessarily need fresh parental consent for every off-site activity, as it depends on the type of visit and the consent already in place. Likewise, I wouldn’t assume there would have been any issue with insurance.
Where I do think you have a fair point is that you expected your child to be in school that day. It would have been good practice for someone to let you know they’d been offered a place on an alternative trip, even if it wasn’t legally or procedurally necessary to ask your permission first.

I’d ask the school to explain what policy they relied on rather than accusing them of a safeguarding failure. You may well find they followed procedure, but their communication with you could certainly have been better.

That sounds unlikely, if a school pupil is on a school trip then why wouldn't the school's insurance cover them?
Whether or not the school charges parents for activities is between you and school, it doesn't affect insurance.

You are detracting from you let your child call all the shots and walk all over you, the school took them out for the day nothing happened, honestly concentrate on your spoilt child's behaviour.

Why he didn’t he just ping you a message and tell you he was going on a different trip?

What was the alternative trip?

So basicly you let a teenager rule your household?
Stop blaming the school and start sorting your spoilt child.

School should have called to inform you about the trip but your DD would have just been hanging about in school all day with not much on if her year group had all gone to the Theme Park so school were kind to her. I would let this complaint go.

I expect it to be covered by your overall agreements.
But i do think minimum they could have text when they had taken them!
Depends on price of trip really if i would be pissed off re taking them ad hoc. £10 no but 60 yes… so.

But it maybe another kid cancelled like yours — maybe because they moved to your kid trip and so technically free

There is no ‘safeguarding aspect’ here. The school don’t need your permission to take students offsite during schooo hours. They ask for permission out of courtesy and because they want you to pay, not because they legally need your permission.

Just refuse to pay and the school can pay for their choice.

You could send a 'concerned and confused' email to HoY asking whether the trip required consent and saying you don't understand why your child was taken. Add in that you feel your child is being difficult about things like this, you're sorry for the late message about trip 1 and you'd like to make sure everything is more tidy next time.

I do think if trip 2 required consent that school needs to be aware you hadn't given it.

Yeah it does make a difference if it was a risky cave diving expedition vs they went to the local cinema 😂

By kid will often come home from school and say they walked to the local church or something. I don't need to be informed or asked permission if it's within school hours.

I wouldn't pay for the second trip - the school can cover it as they chose to send him on it!
Yes keep pushing with school, they are totally out of order!

Personally I think she didn’t let the teenager take charge- that would have been allowing them to go when they changed their mind at the last minute and wanted to go again. She stood her ground and said that no she had said they weren’t going so they couldn’t go.

What was the other trip?

If it was within school hours and in the local area, they may not have needed permission. Some things are allowed and you may have signed something giving blanket permission at the start of the year.

Did the theme park letter state that children not going would go on this alternative trip? If so, you would be considered to have given consent unless you explicitly said no.

I wouldn’t let it drop. I would send an email now and not wait for the holidays to finish.
I would want to know why you were not spoken to. I would want to know why they are doing an extra school activity which has no learning attached to it that a parent is expected to pay for.
I hope your son has learnt something from this episode. But no, I would not consider it over at all.

Ok. I have sad "you are signed up for the school trip as you asked for - forget doing anything else".