Is JUST a homemade card really okay?

[Chatot]

I’m an ex teacher but left over a decade ago. I’m always very adamant that parents shouldn’t feel the need to get a present for teachers, that it’s not expected and that my most treasured gifts were homemade cards.

Back then I’d get some gifts but definitely not the majority of the class and I really honestly didn’t expect it at all.

My son is in nursery class so we made a card, he drew a picture etc and I wrote a nice note. What I wasn’t expecting was to turn up and find that literally almost everyone had gotten the teacher a present - flowers, chocolates, wine etc. There were around ten other children arriving when we did and maybe 8 of them handed her a gift. She’s not leaving or retiring or anything so I was surprised.

Even my son noticed and asked me if it was Mrs Smith’s birthday.

Its made me doubt myself and the folded piece of card with bits of pipe cleaners stuck on. Have things changed regarding how common it is to get presents? Honestly I could have afforded a box of chocolates and now I’m thinking maybe I should have done that too.

I do stand by the fact that I didn’t expect anything as a teacher and loved the cards but I’m very sentimental and maybe assuming everyone feels the same. My son has SEN and she’s been great with him.

I think a handmade card is lovely. I also think that buying teachers gifts should be knocked on the head.

I agree.

I bet Mrs Smith loved your son's card and will remember it more than any flowers or wine.

There's lots of possible reasons why a teacher might not have wanted a box of chocolates. Handmade card from the student is always lovely. There is no obligation with gift giving and absolutely not to spend money.

I have been given a few presents already this week (we finish tomorrow) and it’s the cards and lovely messages which mean the most. The “Miss Sirzy is great because” with a lovely handwritten message from the reception child which they have so obviously done themselves made me so happy to get!

I am thankful for everything of course but it’s the little things with a lot of thought which I love.

Thank you all for the reassurance. I think it just surprised me because I never saw anywhere near that number of gifts for any teacher back when I was in the classroom. I was worried I was out of touch on current etiquette. Must stop overthinking things.

A few years ago I bumped into the woman who had been my daughter’s reception teacher. She was lovely, and the first thing she said to me was that she still had the thank you letter I’d written her over 20 years ago, and she was thrilled to hear that my daughter was now an early years teacher too.
it was nice to think that the letter has out lasted any amount of wine or chocolates.

I agree. I've contributed to the class collection pot but it just seems like a contest between certain parents to appear the most generous. So many people on the parents' WhatsApp group have made sure to tell everyone that they've contributed to the pot too even though they've got something else from little Johnny. I've helped my DC make a nice home made card and that feels a much mire genuine gesture of appreciation. It's supposed to be from the children after all!

My mums been a teacher for 40 years. Has a whole stacking box of beautiful cards she has treasured over the years. The Xmas tree is full if had made decorations from past children.

she doesn’t remember the flowers/wine( although appreciated) but the hand made stuff is genuinely loved.

We bought my youngest DC’s reception teacher a boot bag for £5. I helped out on a school trip and she admired mine. She’s still using it 6 years later.

DDs a teacher and usually gets a £200-250 voucher for Christmas and at the end of the academic year. She's grateful, but it's always the cards with lovely messages in that she treasures. Your card will absolutely be enough

I’m wondering exactly this! Dd has painted watercolour pics of birds on some nice cards that are actually quite pretty (although clearly done by a 5 year old 😬) and written something in each. It’s so tricky as she has 2 teachers and 4 teaching assistants so even if I just spend £10 each that’s £60 😳.

My Mum was a teacher for years mostly in the 90's early 00's and always got presents at the end of year. Chocolates and biscuits were most appreciated, she was a little uncomfortable when they bought her jewellery or accessories. She didn't expect anything but was always grateful and she did like homemade cards.

A blanket ban on presents (cards only) would relieve a lot of pressure for many parents I expect, especially if they have more than one child.

Presents are very common now yes op. And contrary to some of the responses, kids can do both, a hand made card and a gift. Many will, it’s not either or. On saying that, it’s not a competition. And no one should feel the need. My kids school we all contributed and then gave some vouchers, and the kids all made cards.

I worked as a pastry chef. My gifts at Christmas and at the end of year would always be cakes for DC's teachers/TAs and office staff. I ended up doing the wedding cake of one staff member.

I love a homemade card, keep those ones!
Anything that has clearly been the thoughts of a child is treasured, more precious than money or gifts.

I'm not a teacher but based on what I've read/conversations I've had I think homemade seems to be the most popular choice and cards are most cherished.

We give to a class collection when there is one, make a homemade card and if we have particularly loved the teacher we made them a pressie. This year my little one needle felted a star (used a cookie cutter to get the shape so was super simple) that we threaded some ribbon onto so it can be hung up. It's tiny, and it absolutely looks like it was made by someone who just turned 5 🤣 but I'm hoping that's the point!

Most people do buy teachers a present yes. And some bigger/more expensive/extravagant then they should if you ask me.

But I still don't think it means you have to. A lot of years we'd just give a card. Even if we did give a present it would just a little thing for £5 at the most that my child chose. Don't give in to the pressure

Current teacher here. I keep every card I've ever received. On hard days, when I wonder what on earth I'm doing going back every day, I get the box out and remember the lovely kids and it keeps me going back in.

Definitely, the homemade cards are the best.

My guess is that the teacher will love it. Im not a teacher but I have kept the cards my children made for me at school. They are all in their 30s now but I still have them 🤩

A handmade card + a respectful attitude towards the teacher year round is enough.

Agreed. A hand made card is fab.

How many chocolates and flowers does one person need anyway?
X

In some schools / nurseries the present giving does seem to have got out of hand. Very much depends on the school though.

As pps have said, it is the messages in cards or letters I have treasured, and kept over the last 4 decades, not any presents.

I’m not a teacher anymore but I kept really special cards, notes and drawings. I still hang up handmade Christmas decorations on my tree every year. I even still have a handmade candle holder from a child.

Of course it’s very lovely to receive gifts as a teacher but I always loved a simple thank you or knowing you made a difference for that child. I taught very young children who were just learning to read and write so getting a little handwritten message from them was always really special. I would never expect anything except a thank you to be honest.

One of my most treasured cards is one a group of parents and my TAs made me with all different photos over the two years I had that class for. I adored those children and I have so many happy memories of them. They’re doing their a-levels now!

My husband is a teacher and we have several teachers in the family. All agree a thoughtful message in a card is appreciated more than any gift.