Is JUST a homemade card really okay?

[Chatot]

I’m an ex teacher but left over a decade ago. I’m always very adamant that parents shouldn’t feel the need to get a present for teachers, that it’s not expected and that my most treasured gifts were homemade cards.

Back then I’d get some gifts but definitely not the majority of the class and I really honestly didn’t expect it at all.

My son is in nursery class so we made a card, he drew a picture etc and I wrote a nice note. What I wasn’t expecting was to turn up and find that literally almost everyone had gotten the teacher a present - flowers, chocolates, wine etc. There were around ten other children arriving when we did and maybe 8 of them handed her a gift. She’s not leaving or retiring or anything so I was surprised.

Even my son noticed and asked me if it was Mrs Smith’s birthday.

Its made me doubt myself and the folded piece of card with bits of pipe cleaners stuck on. Have things changed regarding how common it is to get presents? Honestly I could have afforded a box of chocolates and now I’m thinking maybe I should have done that too.

I do stand by the fact that I didn’t expect anything as a teacher and loved the cards but I’m very sentimental and maybe assuming everyone feels the same. My son has SEN and she’s been great with him.

My friend is a teacher. She likes getting bottles of wine (although some end up in the bottle tombola as they’re awful). She really hates getting mugs! She’d not be bothered with just a card at all. I think it’s better if the parents club together and give a gift card.

Teachers definitely don't expect gifts. I think a home made card is lovely. When she gets everything home she won't remember who gave what in terms of chocolates/flowers but she'll remember your child from their card.

Yes my mum is similar. She’s kept all cards and letters, and was always teary getting them.

My child is in reception so new to all this, it’s super hot atm so was thinking I might get some nice cans of cold drinks for the staff in their staff room as well as a card from DD?

Not sure if teachers appreciate that though! Box of chocolates seems like it would be liquid by lunchtime right now!

@nbvxsefc I’m a teacher and a parent did the cans of cold drinks in the staff room at my school one year and it was sooo appreciated!! We do also really appreciate when the class contribute towards a gift voucher.

Honestly if I were a teacher I wouldn’t want any of it- including the hand made card.

we do a class collection and give Amazon vouchers. I’d like that.

I’m a teacher, I don’t expect gifts and it’s probably around 50/50 as to who does and doesn’t give them in my school.

I do appreciate anything handmade by the kids and I always keep anything like that, I’ve still got cards/ drawings from my very first class and whilst I appreciate any gift at the time I haven’t kept the mugs etc from years ago.

I never bothered until last year of primary and got teacher a some beers and a card.

I hate the gifts. I find it really awkward and embarrassing receiving them. I honestly wish parents wouldn’t.
All I honestly want is for parents to love their children, play with them, hear them read, and name their bloody jumpers!

I was shocked at the end of DS’s first year at primary (he’s just left school so a while ago), at the large gift bags etc. that were being taken into school (DS had made a card). I felt like I’d missed a memo. It definitely creates a bit of peer pressure for people to do it, and likely a stretch for people on lower incomes or a few kids in school (especially when you throw in classes with 2 teachers and a TA) - I wish primary schools would ask parents not to tbh. In the later years in high school DS would take chocolates in for the teachers he really liked/who’d been particularly supportive. Completely off his own back, using his own money. I always thought that was quite sweet, and hope the teachers appreciated it. I don’t think the teachers get presents in quite the same way in secondary schools.

It has gone over the top now. I used to only get something if the teacher had been particularly helpful to my child. IN most jobs you don't get presents just for doing the job you are paid for. It is also yet another thing to for parents when we are already snowed under

Whereas I, as a teacher (and obviously knowing lots of other teachers) hate the fact that parents have felt pressured into handing over their money to give the class teacher and TA a gift card. It is embarrassing and unnecessary. It also completely forgets the contribution made by the SENCo, the PPA cover, and all the other staff in school that contribute to the whole school experience.

Honestly, we (well, at least the vast majority of teachers) do not want a gift card from the class.

When did giving gifts to teachers become a thing?
It was certainly not a thing when I was a kid (80s baby).

In my 30s, I did an Access course, and we did get things for our tutors as it seemed it was something that people did, because the course was something that launched us into a new career. I remember going to their staff room with some gifts for one of our tutors (and we had several... I spent about £50 between them!) and it looked like a branch of Majestic Wine in there.

I have a friend who is a teacher (secondary) and she absolutely treasures hand made cards.... she posts them on FB. I assume gifts in secondary school is not really something that is done because the kids have many teachers.

As a mum of a sen child I always bought gifts for all the teachers that “meant something to my child and always did the extra mile which my child picked out (equally I knew the good ones 🤪) ”. My child knew which teachers / LSA / dinner ladies made a difference hence they got a present from my child / me. Especially as a sen child they have a hard job and paid pretty poorly. Usually a box of chocolates plus a John Lewis gift card so it’s not OTT and discrete no one wants an extra your the best teacher mug 🤣

My other children they picked the teachers they wanted to gift and a card equally a couple of handmade gifts which was an add on token (one very talented child like sells the items in the local gift shops) - I was not deciding they know who are the nice teachers and who are the wicked ones I leave it up to them.

However, personally I always give extra to “school staff” as they work so hard and they make it special / horrible for your child especially with a sen - they are worth the weight in gold.

you dont want to know what oxbridge teachers get @Chatot

If she’s brilliant with your son, then I don’t understand why you wouldn’t buy her a small gift. I understand however that this isn’t a popular view on Mumsnet.