AIBU to feel upset about this situation?

[ThatHangryDuck]

AIBU to be upset?

My 18 yo son went on holiday, and bought my husband and daughter presents. When handing them out he said he 'forgot' me, whilst laughing. This really hurt me.

We all went on holiday a couple of days later. Throughout the holiday my Husband, Son and Daughter (16 yo) all picked at what felt like everything I said. Telling me I'm wrong, taking the mick out of what I've said, having ago at me for speaking, ignoring me. To the point that I hardly spoke on the last day, as I didn't feel comfortable to speak. My daughter would roll her eyes at me when I spoke, snap at me, and huff and puff (typical teenager stuff).

My husband and I renewed our wedding vows and not one person said I looked nice. My husband did when I asked him if I looked alright. My daughters first words to me when she saw me were - "you're a weirdo".

Since getting home my son picked on something I said, and started having a go at me. I got upset and told him and my husband how I feel about the last couple of weeks. I then had a panic attack. My daughter walked by and said "why is SHE on the floor?". I managed to calm myself and I left the house in flight mode.

Since I have came back, no one has spoken to me or asked if I'm okay. I feel like no one cares about me.

I cant help but feel that I deserve to be treated better.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated on how to handle this situation and/or 2 teenagers.

They sound awful, but I would love their side of the story.

"You are a weirdo", is it because you were wearing a wedding dress, or something a teen would roll their eyes at? It doesnt' sound nice, but why a weirdo?

*then had a panic attack.
Is that frequent everytime you have a disagreement?

What I mean is asking if you are always dramatic, but a bit of a martyr ,or if you stand firm to the kids and refuse to accept rudeness and bad behaviour.

I'll be honest here. From what you've said, especially about the panic attack, I'm wondering if your kids find you a bit needy and dramatic. Teenagers are often quite selfish and impatient. I think when I was a teenager I would absolutely have found it really quite cringey if my parents had renewed their wedding vows, and I'd have been bemused and probably embarrassed if one of them had started panicking and hyperventilating over what seemed to be a really small issue.

If my mum had taken issue with the way I spoke to her when I was a teenager, she'd have said 'Stop being so bloody obnoxious. You sound like a spoilt brat and I'm not having it. Speak to me like that again and [whatever the consequences were going to be] because I'm not having you saying nasty, hurtful things to me like that; you're better than that and you need to grow up.'

She would not have had angsty conversation with my dad about it and ended up hyperventilating on the floor, and if she had, I'd have thought she was being a colossal drama queen.

I'm not saying that's fair. But I am saying that I think most teenagers would lack sympathy for the parent in this scenario.

This can't have come out of nowhere OP. It sounds as though your children have been taught to treat you with contempt and lack of respect. Is that how your H has always treated you? It was actually quite distressing to read.
I agree with pp that you need to start standing up for yourself. And stop doing anything for any of them. You do your own thing and try and find some hobby or see people who appreciate you and get some pleasure out of life.

@BauhausOfEliott is right. There’s no way I would have spoken to my mam like this when I was a teenager, and my teens wouldn’t dream of being so rude to me.

When they’ve started to be a little unkind, given every teen pushes boundaries, I’ve addressed it straight away. They stop and don’t do it again. It doesn’t sound like you have, and your DH seems useless.

They’re going to turn into incapable and rude adults if someone doesn’t start parenting them.

Hi Hangry Duck. I'm so sorry that you are being so awfully treated - it is not acceptable behaviour from your family who are supposed to love you unconditionally. I personally would make an appointment to see your Doctor & ask for a referral to a Health Care Counsellor - I had a few free sessions referred from my kind Dr when I went into menopause as I become very depressed about a missed miscarriage 10yrs before sadly. I think your son should of apologised for not buying you a gift & maybe promised to take you out for a lunch/movie to make up for his oversight. I also think your husband is letting you done & not teaching your teenage children to treat you with respect & love. I hope you can get to talk to a Counsellor, as well as any of your extended family/close friends & of course here at the awesome forum; Mumsnet! Best wishes from, Kiwi Grandma😘