I feel so stupid admitting this...

[Shelly52]

I'm terrified of doctors and nurses, but not opticians or dentists.

I did an Econsult months ago and was referred to a Urogynecologist as I have a cystocele and pretty sure I now have a rectocele.

But the idea of being examined is absolutely overwhelming and embarrassing, who am I kidding?
I cant even see a GP face to face. Last time was about 2019.

I know the doctor won't care, I know its their job etc but I just can't bring myself to do it. Its so bad that Ihave ignored all offers of checks, smears and mammograms.

Literally it could potentially be the death of me but I still can't do it.

I need to deal with this but how?
All advice appreciated.

@Charlize43 please seek psychiatric help

You poor soul @Shelly52. Obviously something has happened to make you feel the way you do. You weren't born with this fear. Its not what's wrong with you, its whats happened to you.
There's a poster who does hypnotherapy on mn. She is excellent, she will spend time with you first to see if you can actually be hypnotised. So trying costs you nothing, and if you can't be hypnotised (like me unfortunately) she wont take it further. Im trying to remember her username, its either @eyeswideopenor @eyeswideshut

I hope you can make contact or she sees this, i really think she could help you.

Good luck 👍

The hypnotherapist is @Eyesopenwideawake

Actually im sorry I don't think im getting her username correct.

This.

You've tried everything else.

Given that you can have a chaperone a friend in with you, what are you actually frightened off?

Just to be clear, I was addressing a troll, not the OP

I have never discussed this with anyone so don't have a friend I would feel comfortable talking to about this.
The idea of a chaperone doesn't help me feel less anxious.

Im frightened of having a painful procedure/intrusive examination done.

If that’s what you’re frightened of and you don’t have a friend or family member you can talk to then could you write a letter to the practice manager explaining and ask what they suggest, they may be able to offer anaesthetic and a chaperone and a particularly kind doctor/nurse?

I dont know the answer for you, but the idea that I might die would propel me through my fear (which is high regards medics)

Does it help to know that you can say no at any point to anything that you’re not comfortable with? Getting to the point of an in person appointment would be a success, rather than expect to go straight to an appointment and then an examination during the appointment.

I have had a fear of dentists and it’s taken me ages to get to the point where I can actually have procedures done and not just check ups. It was massively helped by a very kind dentist who was happy to go at my pace and never do anything that I hadn’t explicitly agreed to in advance.

Im frightened of having a painful procedure/intrusive examination done.

That is nothing unusual, I doubt anyone looks forward to having intrusive or painful procedures. You are not alone in that.

There have been several helpful suggestions made and one more could be to wear headphones and listen to your favourite sounds. However, the bottom line is, it can only be you who can make the decision over what is more important to you: fear of the unknown (something you are blowing up in your imagination) or a brief medical encounter that will soon be over and will look after your health.

I am not diminishing your health anxiety, and I am not unsympathetic, but sometimes in life we just have to grit our teeth for a short moment in time and do things we'd rather not.

I'd second the phone appointment. I had similar issues after some bad experiences of healthcare. I had a phone appointment with a female doctor, who made sure that, when I actually went in, the female nurse was prepared for an anxious patient and listened to me properly before doing anything and offered a chaperone (which I declined). This made a huge difference. If you're having a smear test, you can ask for a smaller speculum.

Thanks for the suggestions. I did an Econsult which led to rhe referral to the urogynecologist.

I had a phone appointment with the consultant in April instead of attendingher clinic, as the GP included in the letter that I was very anxious.
She was nice and sympathetic but ultimately told me I needed to attend and to prepare myself, as its likely i will need surgery. I've had prolapses for 18 years so managed it very well for a long time.

I'm going to look into EMDR therapy and revisit hypnotherapy as it did help reduce my anxiety in the past.

Realistically I know i won't go to a doctor until I can't cope or function and I've no other choice but to go.

My MIL died from lack of treatment for cancer so I have seen first hand the impact of not seeking medical help so im stuck between two fears..d