I feel so stupid admitting this...

[Shelly52]

I'm terrified of doctors and nurses, but not opticians or dentists.

I did an Econsult months ago and was referred to a Urogynecologist as I have a cystocele and pretty sure I now have a rectocele.

But the idea of being examined is absolutely overwhelming and embarrassing, who am I kidding?
I cant even see a GP face to face. Last time was about 2019.

I know the doctor won't care, I know its their job etc but I just can't bring myself to do it. Its so bad that Ihave ignored all offers of checks, smears and mammograms.

Literally it could potentially be the death of me but I still can't do it.

I need to deal with this but how?
All advice appreciated.

I'd try therapy of some type of another, and read up on the common underlying psychological reasons and treatments.

Obviously it's very unhelpful but it's not unusual, you've no reason to feel stupid.

Sorry just to add tried 2 different CBT therapists, a year apart. Hypnotherapy, Propranolol, diazepam (when i needed to attend an actual appointment, never got there), Sertraline and Prozac.

It's not unusual at all, OP. Please try and get some help though - even ask for a mild sedative if that will help calm you and get you there.

Hypnotherapy can help with this

I have a rectocele and it took me years to go to my GP. And having already had abnormal smears and a lletz treatment, I then ignored all the smear letters for TEN YEARS! In the end I realised I was doing a disservice to my children and family by not a looking after my health, but it took a lot of stressing to get me to those appointments! I have no real advice other than to say that they are nowhere near as embarrassing/uncomfortable as fear, although I’m sure you’ve heard it all before! Can you possibly do a GP phone appointment to request Valium to take pre appointment?

Thanks.

I was supposed to have a hysterscopy a few years ago, was prescribed diazepam and propranolol but couldn't even get in the door.

CBT only works when you actually put the effort in. You need to do the work, you need to push yourself out or your comfort zone or it won’t work.

Hynoptherapy is a load of tosh.

Did you take them before you left?

Hypnotherapy most definitely is NOT a load of tosh. You do need to find a reputable therapist though.

I once heard of rape victim, had to have general anaesthetic even for smears… unsure if privately?

I did do the work.

Thanks so incredibly helpful...

I'm not able to talk to my family about this and posted as i thought the people on Mumsnet would know of other sources of help or advice.

I took them as the GP told me, first dose in the morning and second before I left home, so about 45 min before my appointment.

Fucking hell.

If you can't say anything helpful, why say anything at all?

Can you call the doctors or get a friend to call them and explain how frightened you are, you won’t be the only one and they may have some ideas on how to help you, you might find just saying it out loud to a professional helps.

I would ask to try different drugs, one of my friends has a phobia and says the GP prescribed Valium but he felt worse when he took it for some reason. I would also try EMDR

@Shelly52 I am exactly the same as you. I don't have any wise words but I wanted to say that you are not alone and I sympathise 100%.

The underlying reasons for my terror of medical people are twofold; 1) I was sexually assaulted by a doctor when I was a child, and 2) I have had anaphylactic shock several times from medications, and was told by the paramedic who resuscitated me the last time to "stop making a fuss" (I hadn't uttered a single word). I am also autistic, so standard CBT does nothing for me, as my brain knows that my fears are real, and that these things could happen again. But it's OK - @Charlize43 and a bunch of her MN mates will happily slap me into suddenly not being traumatised any more ....

Head trash clearance - that will get you past it
https://www.headtrashclearance.com/

Seriously just stop . Please

I am a nurse and I agree to phone and let gp know or else get a family member to do it for you and see what they say. You could even start off with a phone appointment about your issues if you are afraid to see them face to face and see what they say. This must be so difficult for you.

I ignored smear tests letters for 20 years.

At the end of the day, you don’t have to go to screening and you have obviously tried everything. If your fear is stronger than your desire to have screening then there’s no magic solution.

You aren’t alone in this.

Would it help if you could take a chaperone? Also, speak to the clinician and tell them how you are feeling - allow them to help you help yourself. Try and mentally detach your mind from your body - they are not looking at 'you' but merely a body-part.

I realise you are joking but do you honestly think that the OP is unaware of all the hideous cliches?