Is this abuse?

[isthisabuse]

It has take me a while to post this, please be gentle with me as looking at what I have written is pathetic. Name changed as well. I feel so vulnerable posting this.

We are bickering constantly and I’m sick of it, I have started listing all the horrible things he says (some of which I may be being pathetic but all these things have upset me). I have parents who are ageing but I have a great relationship but no friends at all - this is my concern if I divorce, I would have no support.

House is owned by me but married for 2 years so would have to sell I guess??

Sorry if this is a bit rambly and not saying much but I just don’t know what to do.

I am not perfect and don’t pretend to be but it just doesn’t seem to be working at all and I think for DD’s sake I need out. She is 4.

Had to screenshot my notes section as the formatting is all off so hopefully they appear. There are more but can only upload 5 pictures.

You should definitely split up, you don't want your daughter thinking that is normal.

As you've only been married a couple of years, and the house was yours, there's a good chance you won't have to give him any of it - I left my husband after four years of marriage and kept the house entirely - the financial agreement basically put us back to where we would have been had we never married at all. We also had a child too though, and he was expected to pay some child support, but he never did. I was still better off without him though.

Obviously every situation is different and you need legal advice but don't let it put you off getting out of this dreadful relationship. Things will only get worse and even more difficult, the longer you leave it.

He doesn’t have any rights until he has registered them! If he wants to stay in the property he needs to register his home rights. My advice to OP is to get him out before he does this.

OP there is a good chance you won’t! You need to fight for what is yours and your daughters.

You need to get legal advice asap. You may be able to keep the bulk of the house as you have only been married for 2 years. The longer you leave it, the more he will be entitled to.

You need to protect your own assets before worrying about him.

If I had a colleague in this situation, regardless as to whether I would class them as a close friend, I’d want to help. I’m sure people at work will support you.
You don’t want your dd thinking that’s how a relationship should be.

Not necessarily. It’s classed as a short marriage so he is not entitled to half,especially as op owned it before the marriage. Get your self to a solicitor asap.

Please please seek advice from a family solicitor, preferably one that has some training in domestic abuse - sooner the better to protect your home and child.

I feel sorry for anyone who believes that being called “piggy” or a “frigid cunt” is not abuse as it most certainly is. OP your husband is abusive and controlling. Act quickly to protect your and your daughter’s long-term future. With luck the share of the house he is entitled to may be small enough for you to buy him out and stay where you are.

I can imagine this is so difficult to be sat in, you feel like ending it would leave you unstable and it would be a big big change, but genuinely ask yourself if this is the sort of relationship you want to model for your daughter? Do you want her to grow up thinking this is normal? You are obviously not happy, and to be frank, he sounds like a complete arse. I would suggest you seek some support groups locally and build up the courage to do what you know is best for you and DD.

Oh love.
The one thing that shifted me faster than a suspicious fart ever did was somebody telling me that the kids are likely to grow up and think this is what a relationship is and they'll do the same and do I want that for them.

Kindly you deserve much better. Just imagine how nice and peaceful life will be, even with a toddler, without him.

You can do it LTB. Wish you all the luck to get out from him

Two years is not a long marriage so why would you need to sell? Se a lawyer and get rid

Op

hope you are ok - as others have said this is a short marriage he is unlikely to be entitled to your property

confide in your parents and plan to ask him to leave - don’t put up with him for a minute more!

Speak to a solicitor @isthisabuse as you might not have to sell the house due to it being a short marriage. At the moment there is a chance you both walk away with what you brought to the marriage. But time is of the essence as every month you wait it will give him a greater share of your assets so don't delay.

As to whether it's abuse or not, it doesn't really matter. You are very unhappy, he is very unpleasant and won't change, and divorce is no fault. Start the process and don't look back. If he suddenly changes personality (hah!) you can still live together as a divorced couple but your assets will be safer.