Is this too ‘babyish’ for secondary school?

[Snacktastic]

My DD is starting secondary school in September. We were browsing backpacks over the weekend. She’s absolutely loves this Jansport one. (Photo attached but may take a moment to approve). Is it going to be too young for secondary/ will she be teased for having a flowery bag?
Most of the secondary children I’ve seen have black backpacks, I’ve seen Nike etc which I’ve suggested but she doesn’t want plain black. If this is too young for secondary, I may have to tell her a white lie and that the uniform policy says it has to be a block colour!

I think the brand is fine (my DDs both had Janssport) but the colour will make her stand out. Mine had black/navy in later years. However, I would encourage the individuality! The girls all seem to become clones of each other as they grow up.

Just get it and let it play out.

Every year the preference for school bags changes. One year it was Cath Kidston backpacks and the next year plain Nike or Adidas sports bags. You can’t really predict it so go with what she likes but be prepared to change if she wants to. Hopefully your daughter will turn out not to be a sheep and choose what she likes and makes her happy irrespective of what everyone else is doing.

I let my daughter choose her school bag (she’s coming to the end of year 7). She has a flowery bag and it’s been fine. Two of her friends have similar. She has said she might want a Mountain Warehouse one in a bright colour next year.

My backpack for work is a floral cath kidston one. If she is confident in what she likes dont be the reason that changes

No cartoons, nice pattern, your daughter likes it.. is that all that's needed? It's not babyish and be proud if your daughter doesn't conform to the crowd.

I’ll also say, her friend who she walks to school with has a handbag style that her mum made her get as she works in a secondary school and wanted her to fit in. The girl is desperate for a new bag as it’s annoying but her mum won’t consider it until next year.

go with what she wants

DN has a similar one, she’s 14 and very girly so it fits her overall vibe (she’s got a matching phone case and all that). I don’t believe she’s been bullied for it, but if someone did she would probably tell them to fuck off.. while she dresses like a princess she sure doesn’t talk like one.

Tbh most of the bullying I’ve seen is of kids with knock off stuff. A lot of the kids I tutor have coloured school bags, but they’re all branded. When I was at school I got absolutely terrored for bringing my PE kit in in a Lidl bag… for 3 years 😭.

Personally I’d buy her it and then if she wants to change it then pick up a new one providing you can afford it. Kids are brutal and they’ll always find something at the end of the day.

Too soon to buy would be my opinion :) Ask her again in mid August. Check whether she will need a separate bag for sports kit or goes in wearing sports gear on games day. If she is very sporty she may need a separate bag anyway for after school training.

Black is obviously very popular but a bit of pain to find in a giant stack of them so I'd encourage a bit of individuality but I'd still wait for a bit longer and be firm that this bag is if not for life, at least for the whole of year 7 and possibly 8. I bought my daughter quite an expensive bag after a lot of persuasion but was very clear that it needed to do at least 2 years, and when she opted to replace it at end Yr 7 she had to find the cash herself from birthday/pocket and hard labour [gardening for me].

Get the backpack, it’s good for her to ‘be herself’ even if she changes her mind quickly into term. A good quality back pack can be used for years even if she decides in year 7 she wants a more fashionable handbag. One day in she won’t be bothered to carry her handbag, and a secondary bag and think ‘I’d just whack it in my back pack, who cares if I’m the only one!’

Black tote bags from new look seem to be what most use

id buy it for her if she’d use it over the summer etc but id have a plain black one as a standby for school

dd goes on transition in a few weeks and a few friends with older girls have already suggested she gets a plain tote for transition rather than her current pink rucksack

vans bags/rucksacks are a pretty good bet.
both our DS's have had them throughout school, and they last forever.
they do plain colours, subtle patterns, and more out-there ones too

DD was at secondary pre-covid, and started with a plain nike one, quickly moved to kankens, then onto oversized handbag type bags.

i think a cheap plain nike one to start with, then can change her mind based on what others have after a few weeks?

I think I'd be encouraging her to get what she likes and stand confident in herself and her choices. It's a lovely back pack and I don't think it's babyish but I do think it might get a bit grubby faster than I'd like. Can it go in the wash?

I don't think you can predict these things, you could tie yourself in knots figuring out what's the 'right' thing to buy and if kids want to be mean they'll be mean anyway sadly. So she may as well get what she wants and if she decides to change her mind in a while she can use it for something else.

I'd get it , the only thing that would concern me is how filthy looking light coloured school bags get , check its wipe able. Jansport bags are great they last a long time and are well worth the money

I tend to go plain/ dark colour for secondary school bags and then you can’t really go wrong. Although neither of mine seem to be in schools where they care about this sort of thing!

I think you’re right to be worried. Kids are brutal. The cool girls will have Ted Baker tote bags. I think backpacks are great and practical and the brand’s fine but there’s a chance she’ll get picked on with the floral. But you know her best, she might style it out and they’ll all have them by end of week.

When did anything not plain black become only appropriate for small children?

I'd be giving your daughter all the encouragement for not giving into this excessively boring trend of eschewing all colour.

Unless she's going to Miss Cackle's Academy for young witches.

Secondary teacher here.

Is she a confident, outgoing, mature girl? In which case it will be fine.

If she's a 'young' 11 year-old who is very family-oriented and is still into playing rather than trying to be cool then I'd suggest not - some young people can be cruel and will quickly sniff out any perception of what they consider to be weakness. Get her a cheap plain black rucksack that can be replaced with something that allows her to express herself once she is established and settled.

DON'T lie about school policy being all black - kids are perceptive and one of her friends will put her straight or she'll clock it as soon as she walks through the gates. Either causes a trust issue she doesn't need at a time when she's naturally a bit trepidatious.

This is the worst idea!
Starting with a lovely new bag is the exciting bit, and also the very least likely time for anyone to be negative about it.
(I don't think they will anyway, but if they do it will be later in the year when they all start to feel more grown up)

I work in the Sussex. That bag is perfect. Much nicer than the granny tote bags some girls have. We are a mostly rucksack school.

My daughter has a vans white flowery rucksack which is quite similar and she's actually used it for the past 4 years at high school. She even uses it as her carry on bag when we go on holiday.

Babyish? That's a daft expression unless it's referring to a very young child.

I don't think it's childish at all- would be a completely normal bag at my kids' school.

My daughter was relentlessly bullied after starting secondary school
with a yellow fluffy pencil case. Horrible all girls school. I wouldn't risk it. But take the line it might be quite strict so take black one first and see how the land lies

Just get her the bag

This - it would be quite dispiriting to tell your child that they can't make their own choices in secondary school and must 'act older' or conform to whatever the popular kids wear.

It's a nice bag, try and make her feel confident in her choices. If she'll stand out, even better. Secondary school is not the time to be a little grey mouse, scurrying around unnoticed, it's a time to become comfortable making your own choices, even if it's only something as inconsequential as a backpack.