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DP’s ex-wife asked how much my engagement ring cost, and he told her!

61 replies

CFEngagementRingQuestion · 08/06/2026 09:47

My DP proposed to me a few weeks ago and we bought a ring that we both love. He told his ex-wife over the phone (which I knew he was going to do) and she passed on her congratulations. Just to be completely transparent, my DP left her for me, but they have remained friendly, mainly because of their now-adult daughter, but also because of their shared profession. I have always been supportive of this friendship, as I know it is beneficial to their daughter. The ex is also engaged, and getting married to her long-term partner later this year. The ex-wife called my DP a few days ago and they had quite a long chat. During this she asked him how much he had spent on my engagement ring. Whilst I am cross with DP for telling her, I am furious with her for asking. I have never asked my closest friends how much their engagement rings cost, as it’s none of my business. This has caused a huge row between us as he has said I should just get over it, but it’s really annoyed me that there are now three people who know how much my ring cost, and one of them is his ex! Am I overreacting, or is this really crossing the line by her (and also him to be so dismissive of how upset I am)?

Yes I ABU to object to her asking this (and him telling her)
No I ANBU to feel pretty pissed off with both of them

NC as it’s all very outing!

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 08/06/2026 09:49

I couldn’t bring myself to care about this.

sorry.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 08/06/2026 09:49

How much was it?

WeatherOrNothing · 08/06/2026 09:51

Both, why did he feel the need to tell her such a personal detail? And how is she so comfortable to ask such a thing.

Flamingojune · 08/06/2026 09:51

I didn't know it was a thing. Ask him how much he paid for hers

LadyLooo · 08/06/2026 09:51

Just to be completely transparent, my DP left her for me

Lol

Roomonthe3rdfloor · 08/06/2026 09:51

Fair enough you don’t want her to know, but she does know now, does it change anything in your world her knowing? I doubt it.

TheCurious0range · 08/06/2026 09:51

So her husband left her for you, ie you had an affair and you're bothered that she asked a question about your ring? I don't think you've got a leg to stand on.

BauhausOfEliott · 08/06/2026 09:52

Oh for god's sake, who cares? I cannot begin to imagine why you'd give the slightest of fucks about this.

BudgetBuster · 08/06/2026 09:52

Lots and lots and lots of people ask men how much a ring cost. They wouldn't necessarily ask you... but plenty of people might ask him.

I don't think the fact she is his ex is relevant here because they sound like friends? They have an adult daughter but spend long phone calls chatting to eachother and get along fine so I'd see it as similar to a friend in a pub asking him how much he forked out.

planespotter71 · 08/06/2026 09:52

How much was it? Was is cheap and that’s why you’re cross?

notthatoldchestnut · 08/06/2026 09:52

You can’t control what other people do, think, or what their values are. You can only control your own reactions.

What detriment have you experienced as a result of her asking a question and receiving an answer?

wishfulthinking25 · 08/06/2026 09:53

I stopped reading at the bit you said he left his marriage for you tbh.

Livelovelaughfuckoff · 08/06/2026 09:53

I don’t think it’s quite as rude as knobbing her husband but yes a little crass to ask.

Springtimeinsunshine · 08/06/2026 09:53

Whoever paid for it has a right to say how much it was, so who bought it, him or joint or you?

I wouldn't be mad at exwife for asking, but I wouldn't be impressed with him for telling. Not row worthy though.

Tink3rbell30 · 08/06/2026 09:53

Who cares? How you get them is how you lose them though, I'd be more concerned about that.

CFEngagementRingQuestion · 08/06/2026 09:53

Fair enough. It has bothered me, but very happy to accept that it wouldn’t bother others. I was just curious to get opinions. Thanks for your replies so far.

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 08/06/2026 09:54

So yours is a very longstanding relationship, given that she has also found a long term partner to get engaged to.
Their marriage was long standing, and they discussed all sorts of things. It isn’t surprising they still do.

It’s surprising you feel you can criticise her given the circumstances.

Shittyyear2025 · 08/06/2026 09:55

Livelovelaughfuckoff · 08/06/2026 09:53

I don’t think it’s quite as rude as knobbing her husband but yes a little crass to ask.

Quite. YABU in many ways op.

You know the phrase 'marrying the other woman creates a vacancy', right?

Notonthestairs · 08/06/2026 09:55

Why would you care?
What difference does it make?

Motnight · 08/06/2026 09:55

LadyLooo · 08/06/2026 09:51

Just to be completely transparent, my DP left her for me

Lol

She gets to ask her ex whatever questions she wants. Your do gets to answer whatever questions he wants.

wishfulthinking25 · 08/06/2026 09:56

Livelovelaughfuckoff · 08/06/2026 09:53

I don’t think it’s quite as rude as knobbing her husband but yes a little crass to ask.

This made me chuckle!

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 08/06/2026 09:56

TheCurious0range · 08/06/2026 09:51

So her husband left her for you, ie you had an affair and you're bothered that she asked a question about your ring? I don't think you've got a leg to stand on.

This is when going over the line started

Ihatetomatoes · 08/06/2026 09:58

TheCurious0range · 08/06/2026 09:51

So her husband left her for you, ie you had an affair and you're bothered that she asked a question about your ring? I don't think you've got a leg to stand on.

This.

Belladog1 · 08/06/2026 09:58

God, all these sanctimonious, whiter than white folk on here!!!

OP - I wouldn't like it either. But, now I'm invested. Was your ring quite cheap and you feel like the X-wife wanted to feel vindicated that she was rocking the more expensive diamond?

aCatCalledFawkes · 08/06/2026 09:58

I couldn't get upset about it, when my ex was getting remarried we have some very amusing conversations about how expensive weddings are.