School toilets

[Sweetheart1990]

School toilets!
Son text me to say he had walked out of lesson after being refused permission to go to the toilet, he had finished all his work. I have always told him to do this if he is desperate but he never actually has before.
He has been put in isolation.
I'm angry as I really believe that students should be allowed to go when they need to and he had completed all tasks so was just say in the classroom anyway.
What does everyone else think?

The current toilet situation in schools, is entirely unacceptable and cannot continue.

It is fundamentally wrong for the school to punish the majority of well‑behaved children because of the behaviour of a small minority.

The approach is unfair, inappropriate, and demonstrates a serious failure in the school’s behaviour management strategy and goes against multiple Dfe policies.

Children who follow the rules must not be subjected to collective punishment simply because the school is not addressing the needs of those who are struggling.

Children do not walk out of classrooms without cause. When this happens, it is a direct indication that their basic needs are not being met — whether that involves emotional support, proper intervention, or a safe and structured environment, Instead of dealing with these issues responsibly, the school is choosing to impose blanket consequences on pupils who have done absolutely nothing wrong!

This is unacceptable practice and must stop immediately.

The responsibility lies entirely with the school to manage behaviour effectively, provide targeted support to the children who need it, and ensure that well‑behaved pupils are not repeatedly penalised for problems they did not create.

The current approach is failing the majority of children, and it is the school’s duty of care to correct this without delay.

It’s completely unacceptable that, in this day and age, children are being punished for needing to use the bathroom. Instead of focusing on a child’s “reaction,” we should be listening to the child who felt he had no choice but to leave the classroom to take care of a basic bodily need.

At my son’s school, he often had to choose between going to the toilet or having his lunch. With more than a thousand pupils all trying to use filthy, poorly maintained bathrooms—and only half of the available facilities open due to staffing and cleaning issues—it was an entirely unreasonable situation.

The school had the resources, but chose not to use them, and that’s simply wrong.

Ffs no it isn’t ’common sense’. Not everyone’s bodies work how they are meant to. Educate yourself.

Ah OK, so teachers are ripe for shit treatment because they picked the job. I'm betting 99% of teachers didn't know they'd have lack of toilet access before going into the job. It's not on the adverts, is it? Yet more shitty treatment, shitty public attitudes and the haemorrhage out of education. What about nurses? They frequently have the same problem? You happy to say don't like it don't do the job? We'd be screwed without nurses.

No, absolutely not. It would make most sense if, where possible, teachers - like the children - can go during break times, but if they can't for whatever reason (disability, health conditions, period issues, UTI, upset stomach etc.), there should be a mechanism in place for another adult to take over supervising the class for a few minutes whilst they go and do the necessary.

The fact that this doesn't exist in reality is an absolute disgrace, dehumanising and discriminatory.

But I just don't buy the argument that, because adults have to struggle with something, that somehow makes it OK for children to have to struggle with it too. Nobody should be forced to struggle with such basic human needs and dignity. It isn't the children's fault that adults who employ other adults don't care about them.

Just tell him to go before or after the lesson - he’s not a toddler! if he can’t hold his bladder for an hour or so, you’ll need to get a doctors note to take to school.

Kids muck about in the toilets, they arrange to meet each other from other classes and then have a get together. The teachers have no option but to say no for this reason. Your son might not being doing this, but there’s a rule and he needs to stick to it.

id be supporting the school and telling him to suck up the isolation and learn to do as he’s told in the future. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I feel sorry for the teachers - they’re in a no win situation!

It's not exactly aimed to be collective punishment though. It is more that there is not sufficient staffing to ensure that toilets can be open all the time so at break and lunch, when there are people on duty, they are open.

Schools would love a solution! It's not like teachers want to stop people going to the toilet. What we want is to avoid costly repairs, a space that feels unsafe or unclean for others and to avoid behaviours that would be unsafe for the child (like smoking or vaping). The trouble is that the solution needs to be cheap, consistent and not infringe on other rights like CCTV in the loos.

Did you not read the first sentence of my post?

Oh God, you're one of those

'immediate behaviour management tools'

What...?
😆

You shouldn't be going into any school "guns blazing" whatever the case.
The fact that you mention reacting angrily at all as an option is very telling.
Calm down please, and stop complaining about school as soon as your kid is in trouble.
You weren't there.

Also "I've finished my work, can I go to the toilet now?" as a legitimate request is pretty much a primary school concept. Stop babying him. He's 14, he knows fine well how to plan his toilet use.

School toilets are no longer how we remember them.

They are now separate unisex cubicles dotted about.

My child says it's a free for all at breaks and lunch, older kids queue jumping so you can wait in line for the toilet all break and never get to use it . Kids use them to go on their phones, vape etc.

My child has also walked out of class for fear of wetting themselves, and taken the warning for it.

However, the reason these draconian rules are in place are because kids just left lessons and roamed around the corridors without them. The teachers can't decide which kids deserve a toilet break and which can't.

If it's that much of problem get a doctors note which will allow a child to get a lesson toilet pass.

You would if the alternative was wetting yourself, which my daughter did in High School. Can you imagine the shame?

Children do not walk out of classrooms without cause. When this happens, it is a direct indication that their basic needs are not being met — whether that involves emotional support, proper intervention, or a safe and structured environment.

Just wow. Really?

As somebody with a hidden disability, I don't actually know which I find worse in reality: people who hate and actively choose to discriminate against those of us with disabilities and challenging health conditions; or people who just dismiss us as irrelevant and our limitations as imaginary and wholly unimportant.

So, so many people - on MN and IRL - just see everything through the narrow window of how it affects (or, more usually, doesn't affect) them; and will actually insist that everybody else must experience things in the exact same way as they do.

Plenty of schools allow students to randomly walk the corridor to the toilet during lessons, just not British schools. I don't know why British children are so wildly different to children in some other countries that they can't be trusted to go to the loo without causing trouble but apparently they are. Thank god my children are only half British and thus are capable of going to the toilet during lessons if needed, without trashing them or vaping or other such things.

Amazingly these children grow up and get employed despite occasionally going to the toilet mid-lesson.

Is he allowed his phone in school?

I can guess what happened.
Ee
Miss I have finished
Good. There is some extension work on the board, get on with that
No that's boring, can you mark my work?
I will do but right now please get on with the extension work
I need the toilet
Just get on with the extension work

Walks out of classroom to text mum

Yes I would. My bowels don't care if it's an important meeting.

Parent rule is not the rule in school

Is this really something you want to tackle the school on?

There are plenty of things that has happened or rules I don’t agree with at both my children’s schools. But I pick my battles wisely. Inconsistent or poor teaching, I email in with my concerns straight away.

Them getting a sanction for uniform infringement or gum or whatever, may be dealt with it differently to me but it’s not the end of the world and it’s their classroom, their rules.

It depends how desperate you are, surely? There are times when you've got to go. At least in a meeting you can make up an excuse about an urgent phone call or something and no-one will be putting you in isolation.

What are the rules on mobile phone use?

If he's in isolation why is he messaging you.

Are there any school rules you think he should follow?

Glad I live in a country where my children are allowed to go to the toilet

It was like that here 50 years ago. There were no vandalised toilets. It was unusual that anyone would need the loo during class but you were allowed to go if you asked. This freedom was rarely abused.

People on here must have bladders and bowels of steel. Plenty of people don't (and don't have a medical condition) and may sometimes have an urgent need for the toilet. Can you imagine a secondary aged child having an accident in class? It happened to a girl I went to school with and I still remember it happening 25 years later so I'm sure she does too, it basically defined the rest of her time at school which is just awful.

Yes plenty of kids can wait til break but I think they should be allowed to go if they're desperate.

As an adult I expect to be able to use the toilet if it's urgent. That includes excusing myself from important meetings. Why should school be any different? Yes, there are jobs where nipping to the toilet isn't possible, but applying for them is optional, school is not.

I still haven't forgiven the teacher who wouldn't let me nip to the loo when I was 11 and had unexpectedly come on my period. I bled on the chair, everyone saw and it was mortifying.

Rules are rules. Teachers have to use the toilet at break and lunch even teachers on their periods. Teachers can't leave a class unsupervised to use the toilet so not sure why the rules would be different for the pupils (medical reasons aside of course).