Should I return to work full time?

[LilyLilacanna]

I went part time from my job when my son was born 5 years ago. Before I went off, I found my work overwhelming and was beginning to struggle with stress.
i had always said I would go back to work full time when my son went to school as financially it made sense.
my son is now at school and I really enjoy the work life balance of being part time. My husband got a promotion at work so he making more money now but he always said more money would take the pressure off him and make life a easier.
i find even when I do extra work for my job at home on my days off, everything in my house goes to pot - washing, cleaning, hoovering etc.

I’ve been asked if I want to return to my job full time - a kind of now or never offer and I don’t know what to do.
i know if I speak to my husband he will say do it but he doesn’t know what my work is like and how stressful it can be.
my parents want me to go back as they said it’s not good for my pension to keep working part time.
in my heart I am happier and calmer working part time and I can be more present for my son.

i don’t know what to do :(

This is the clincher for me. If it’s just you without him around every other week, he cannot step up more (without changing his job) during those weeks, and with a younger child, we found we really needed / appreciated more flexibility (it was my DH in our case who went part time as he is the teacher, and I agree with you that 3 days took it to a manageable level with all the prep / marking / intensity etc).

Agree with a pp who said look again at full time when your child can be a bit more independent.

Glad that your DH is understanding and supportive.

Thanks everyone.
I'm still a bit undecided what to do. My heart says stay part time, look after my mental health and be more present for my son.
my head says go back full time, the money will help my family more and my pension will be better.

I’m a bit of a perfectionist so I don’t know if I could leave work at the door and not complete things if it doesn’t fit into my time. I’ve always worked many more hours to get things done as I feel it doesn’t benefit me to be unorganised it just adds to my stress.

i just feel like it’s not a never to going back full time but not now but I don’t know when will ever be the right time. The pressures are still going to be there regardless. The cost of everything is going up and I don’t want to regret my decision is a few years when the opportunity is no longer there.
A lot of thinking to do.

I'm sure if you stay part time for now while your kids are still young, there will always be the opportunity to go back up to full time in the future when your kids are older.

Maybe reassess the situation when they are in secondary school? More money helps, of course it does, but it's not everything!

Why is it so now or never? Surely there would be another job in a few years?

I think you know what you want to do which is stay part time, and based on your circumstances there are many good reasons for that. I would review your pension- I believe a teachers pension is still pretty good even if you are part time for a few years - and also discuss with your DH and review his. You don’t want to be left at retirement age with him saying that he has enough for him to retire but not you, when you were the one facilitating his travelling for work. If your DPs keep on about it, tell them they will need to do childcare 2-3 days every fortnight when your DH is travelling and you are working.

You sound like a very thorough and motivated teacher. My guess is that the opportunity to go full time will arise more than once in the future. It sounds like now isn’t the time to make that leap.

If you're in the teachers pension scheme your pension will still be pretty decent even if you’re part time for another few years.
Obv if you really need to earn extra money now then that’s different.
PPs are right, other opportunities will come up over the next few years, this isn’t a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I sense you know what you want to do but you’re feeling external pressure

It sounds like the conflict is between what you really want to do (heart) and what you think you should be doing (head).

Get out of the perfectionist habit. Do not be doing more hours at work than you should be, that's crazy. Change your perspective now you have a child, those extra hours you spent a work now belong to your child.

Personally I wouldn’t. You seem to recognise it’s too much. Don’t be swayed by what other people say- prioritise your own sanity.

I say stay part-time for now.

A part-time teaching job is very hard to find (almost impossible as an external candidate) and the very best thing for your pension is to remain in teaching, even on a part-time basis, rather than burning out, leaving and trying to look for something outside teaching.

I have done various things, been successful in other fields and still never really managed to significantly better my teaching salary plus pension in other roles. Salaries are pretty flat in the sectors where ex-teachers often end up and personal pension schemes are poor in comparison to the teaching scheme. It is only once you leave that you realise how good it is!