Flirted then reported me

[Hellnsisb]

Several months ago I met a married man.
in a professional environment

After some weeks I noticed his behaviour was actually flirtatious.

We had much close conversation, he mentioned his unhappiness at home and vice Versa.

essentially he made me fall for him hard.

as I asked for his feelings the last day I saw him via message and found out his wife controlled his phone and social media.

I asked about his behaviour and in response got complete denial.

after some ups and downs I was unable to contact him at all to get closure from his behaviour and as our connection was the strongest I’ve ever felt and I had no way of contacting him I send a letter and hand posted it to what I thought was a secure environment and saw him pick up.

couple week passes ( I never expected a response and stated this and that the letter was the end of it for me) then get called into the police station for harassment queries.

I cannot believe the amount of time I spent worrying about what he thought of me and how it ended.

friends said he manipulated me then to prove his supposed innocence to his wife, went down this route.

im still in shock.

I wasn’t charged I gave my full version of the story from my side.
the be all and end all was don’t contact again which I was never planning to.

I can’t believe I fell for it and I’m so annoyed with myself and just needed to vent this somewhere.

Op I think that you need to ask for this to be moved to Relationships

It definitely sounds like he reported you for his wife's sake/by her request. But what do you expect from flirting with a married man?

Play stupid games win stupid prizes 🤷‍♀️

He's fed her a line and to prove it he's reported you. He's a dick.

You've learned a lesson.

If you're not happy, leave. Don't complicate a difficult situation by involving someone else.

Did you tell the police that he was unhappy and his wife controls his phone and social media? I’m a bit concerned actually that he may be in a coercive & controlling relationship?

What was in that letter?!!

LEAVE MARRIED MEN ALONE!

It’s quite simple really..

You need to realise you have agency.

He did not make you "fall for him hard". You chose to respond, you didn't have to.

He was unprofessional, and so were you.

He was however decisive about when you left the workplace - he did not want to hear from you again. And told you that your exchanges simply didn't mean to him what you hoped for.

What were the "some ups and downs" in your attempts to get in touch with him? Have you been stalking him? How did you find his address?

I hope the friends from whom you sought advice are your friends and nothing to do with the workplace.

Take forward from this - don't get in to flirty situations with unavailable men, and when a man tells you there's nothing in it, believe them. There's no real closure in chasing them for further information on why they didn't fancy you enough

I am guessing the connection existed only in your mind, and when he "denied" it, by saying he had no interest in you, you should have accepted that instead of stalking him by phone, email and leaving letters (in "secure" places).

Imagine if a man you had no interest in did all that to you?

Like to hear his take on this tbh

Did he ghost you?

I don't understand about the letter.
You sent it to a 'secure environment' and then waited there until you saw him pick it up? Tbh that would be a bit creepy.

You made a choice. You have agency.

I agree.

Fuck around and find out!

This thread is 3 months old. Sure the OP is long gone

Ah. True.

Nah. It's in the unexplained because the OP is going to come back and say it turns out this man has been dead for years.

after some ups and downs I was unable to contact him at all

always intriguing when an OP skirts over what was likely very high drama that reflects badly on them

I’d say it would be most appropriate in the Mental Health forum tbh

I suspect it would be quite disturbing

essentially he made me fall for him hard.

something very off about this OP

Ok the first part makes sense, some flirting, you fell for him etc. But when you stop getting responses you needed to take a hint rather than going to extremes to contact him. I don’t get the secure drop off of a letter and seeing him get it. If a man did that to me after I stopped replying I would also be going to the police.

A prime example of fuck around a find out.

Why on earth would you be concerned about a total stranger who sounds like he’s a sleazebag? 🤷‍♀️