Do the long deceased really come back to take loved ones when they die

[Heatherjayne1972]

Or is it wishful thinking a dying brain hallucinating or something else
What do you think? Any experiences you're willing to share?

In answer to the opening question, I bloody hope so.

My Grandmother, close to the end when she was confused, suddenly wrote several letters to her much loved father and often mentioned him. I often wondered if he was there and waiting for her.

What about those people estranged from loved ones? What happens to them?

Like my bastard father for example

I hope there's something else, I'm terrified of death

Why stole? I just imagine it being like going to sleep as all your neurones close down.

I wonder that too iloveu.

My Nan had a horrible life with my abusive Grandad, she described the years after he died as the only years she had ever been free of fear. I hate the idea that he might have been waiting when she passed.

if you look at it more like you imagine them there that might bring comfort to those who worry about who might be waiting for them or loved ones?

it could quite easily be a state of mind.

i believe in an afterlife. This is something that has come to me in the past few years. I work with animals and often have to look after them after they have gone. Sometimes i can tell when their spirits are lingering, its usually seconds but iften minutes or even longer. Its something i find great comfort in.

Our brains are set up to/have evolved ways to make dying easier for us.

Many relatives have said they've seen people coming for them. Dd's father in law said "Mummy!" with a happy smile shortly before he died.

My late mother, as a child, was staying with a friend overnight, the friend said 'there are people here, they are coming for you' but my mother wasn't scared, she 'knew' they weren't for her, and her friend died the next day.

I had an NDE. No-one came for me but I did go to the light and was welcomed and asked if I had anything left to do. I said my dd hadn't finished with me yet and was immediately back in myself. I can't describe how beautiful it was there, the sense of warmth, love, acceptance. I missed it so much, for a long time afterwards. So now, when the subject comes up, I tell people - it's ok, there is something 'after', it doesn't matter who you are, what you believe, what you've done because it is all known and you are loved, so very loved.

My Nan had a horrible life with my abusive Grandad, she described the years after he died as the only years she had ever been free of fear. I hate the idea that he might have been waiting when she passed
I've given this kind of thing a lot of thought. My mother wouldn't have wanted to meet her parents and I'm not always sure I'd want to meet her. But, bearing in mind my NDE, and the sense that God (I'm a believer, I know many people aren't) wants to heal us not punish us, I think the people who have made the progression to the light are probably healed. And being healed, they won't cause harm, they will be filled with love.

ilove, I nearly died once, I woke up on the crash table in a&e. I had felt exactly like I was going to sleep, except that it was the best, most welcome sleep ever. Then I realised what was happening and that if I went further it would be forever. I remember thinking that would be ridiculous, if I did dh and I would never have children. Then I opened my eyes and saw the charging paddle things just about to touch me and being taken away.

I am a nurse. A natural cynic. I believe it.

Over nearly 20 years of nursing I have been with many many people when they have died (District nurse) & I have never once witnessed anything to make me think there is anybody there.

(Outing myself to anyone that knows me because I've told this or so many people in rl)

My mother saw James Dean (she had a crush on him the size of a mountain) and Elvis.

Don't believe it for a second.

Angelica that sounds like sleep paralysis. I have it and I've seen all sorts of terrifying things, I don't think they are real though personally.

However we know so little about the world really, so who knows the answer. If believing helps people through losing loved ones/preparing for their own death then it can only be a good thing.

It's a lovely idea and a couple of experiences have made me wonder.
I'm open minded.

If there's anything in it is wouldn't think you go back to a person you didn't get on with in life just because you were married or it was your mum. Perhaps that's what we mean by 'soul mates"

Not to derail the thread but this reminds me of a scene in dinnerladies written by the late great Victoria wood...

Petula: "I had a NDE once - I saw a bright light and dusty Springfield beckoning to me.....turns out I'd passed out in the Mersey tunnel with a drag act!"
😀

I would like to believe
I would like to see my beloved dad again...but I don't and I won't

I hope it comforts those who do believe

Seems much more likely that there is something, I believe so anyway.

When my father died he called out to his mother who died when he was 18 as if he could see her in front of him, he was however dying of cancer and bee high on pain medication but....

I like to think that there is something after death and that my dad is looking over an my son that looks so much like him but he sadly never got to meet, I don't want to believe that this is nothing as it makes this life pointless we live this and get nothing?

No we get to return to all our loved ones whether it is really them or our imagination we get to live in our afterlife happy with all our passed loved ones.

It's what keeps me happy knowing I will see my dad again when this life has finished, so no one can tell me any different :) x

I was very sceptical of this type of thing, until one of my close relatives was dying of a terminal illness. We weren't actually aware how little time she had left, but 2 weeks before her death she started having visions of her deceased parents/siblings/in-laws etc. She had a lot of comfort in seeing them and would talk about the chats they were having. Two days before she passed she laid in bed and held her hand out to "somebody" and gave them a lovely smile whilst she stroked an (imaginary) hand.

When our family discussed this with health professionals, not one of them dismissed it. They all said it was something they heard a lot with terminally ill patients.

There is a book called "Final gifts" compiled by hospice staff, which touches on this subject and makes interesting reading.

After discussing what happened with my relative with other people who have been in similar situations, it does seem a pretty common occurence. Whether it is the brain playing tricks or an actual real dimension, who knows ?

I do know, that after seeing it for myself, I believe my relatives visions were real and it has given me a much better feeling about death and dying.

When my Nan died I (a non believer) told her (a spiritualist) that her Mum and brothers were waiting for her in the glorious, sunny garden outside her hospital window. In reality a slabbed, weed infested courtyard. Her face lit up and she died about 15 minutes later.
I did it, despite my beliefs because I wanted to give her comfort as she passed. Maybe it was real, maybe it wasn't. I don't regret doing it. It's what she would have expected to see.

"brain releasing some form of chemical to make the passing from life into death easier"

I think this is closer to the truth, probably endorphin related, at a wild guess.

I personally think what happens is this. When someone dies, their bodily functions stop, one by one. The last one to go is the brain. If the brain is starved of external stimuli (taste, smell, touch, sight, sound), what happens is that you get an effect of "life flashing before your eyes". The latter has been observed by people who have gone into sensory deprivation tanks - they have the same effect (and even the "go to the light" effect). I would imagine the imagined presence of people who have previously died is part and parcel of the whole process.

One of the things that I was also told by a medic colleague was that people remain "conscious" or "aware" for a few minutes after death without being able to respond. So if you are with a loved one, it really does help to comfort them and tell them you love them. My sister did something like this with our late mum, and didn't know about the latter, and was reassured that she was able to make her peace with her (she had had a turbulent relationship with her).

i agree with the supposition that being dead is just like before we were born - no consciousness, nothing. Sad, but what I think as well. I think people struggle with this, and the mythos has grown around it to enable people to cope.

My grandmother worked as a nurse with geriatric patients. She saw a lot of deaths and said most people seemed happy and at peace and several called out names just before passing. She believed whoever you were closest to would come for you, so if you were estranged from a partner or your parents it su be a grandparent who came to lead you. I think this can't be it there must be something else.

My uncle was very ill and before he died he said my cousins name[who had passed years before]who he was very close too.And then he said my mams name[who was his carer]And his own mother[who had been dead ears and years at that stage].He has the biggest smile and then he was gone.So even if you dont believe theres no harm in people at the end having comfort.

On the night my grandad died, he told staff at his care home that his mum would be coming for him later on. He'd never said anything like that before.

It's a comforting thought.