Have any of you lost your nerve riding and managed to get it back?

[Pixel]

I was never the bravest rider as a teenager but I still got on and did everything, jumping, hair-raising gallops, riding bareback, you name it. I didn't ride for quite a few years as my pony had to be retired but have now got a new horse.

Of course I don't expect to be as brave as when I was a kid. I'm not as agile now and I have my own children to think of so wouldn't want to take unnecessary risks. Also, I'm much more limited as to where I can ride, no school and no more straight out onto the Downs. But I've been surprised at just how scared and pathetic I am. This darling little horse hasn't really put a foot wrong so far and I'm so nervous of him, whereas my old pony was an absolute terror and I still rode him for miles in all weathers!

We've had this one 18 months now and I thought I'd be feeling quite brave by now but I'm not. Ok, we have been taking things very slowly because we found out that he was only 2 when we got him, not gone 3 as we were told, so the fact that I haven't cantered him yet isn't solely due to my lack of nerve but secretly I'm relieved that I've had an excuse. But he will be 4 this summer so the excuse won't hold for much longer .

Anyway, we haven't done much with him at all this winter as he is still young, but we haven't turned him away completely as he loves going out. Any work he has done has been for my benefit really otherwise I feel I might never get on him again! Once a week (weather permitting) I have a lesson which consists of riding him out round quiet roads with my instructor walking with me and working on getting me to relax, sit back properly, not grab at him all the time (not helped by his amazing walk which makes me feel we are flying along) and remember to use my legs instead of freezing up. When the paddock dries up she is going to lunge him with me on too.

I do feel I've made progress. I'm more relaxed than I was and am starting to have more faith in his steadyness instead of imagining he is going to shy at every little thing. It just all seems so slow and such a waste as he is really gorgeous and is going to be the perfect family horse if I can only get over this. I should be able to ride out with my sister on her pony by now but have only done it twice and she got fed up with me panicking all the time.

Very long post, sorry it wasn't going to be!
I just thought it would give me some hope if anyone else had experienced the same and managed to come out the other side and enjoy their horse again.

Actually for your information I did do a 26 mile sponsored ride in the dim and distant past. The first 20 miles weren't too bad, but the last 6, ouch! Mind you, we did have an added detour when some cows ate the sign off a gate and we all carried on oblivious until a steward caught up on his motorbike to say we were going the wrong way! So I like to tell myself it was more like 30 miles . (no ditches though)

Ouch! I did a 12mile ride once - that was enough! My Dh vets at some of the endurance events near thetford and what i can't understand is why anyone would do 100miles on a skinny arab, i'd go for a fat cob, it would be like riding a sofa

Pixel, well done! Sounds like you've made a real breakthrough.

Right, this endurance ride - none of you are near me are you? Although I'm hiding behind Pixel - let Mitchy go on ahead.

ok but I'll have to go bareback at this rate and I don't fancy my chances of staying on for long - especially not with his sore withers, I can't even sit to his trot without bouncing maniacally

I don't want to shock anyone, but i may ride my gelding this afternoon

Owls, you seem to be assuming I will be able to stop! My horsey hasn't shown any signs of charging off with me so far (even when an idiot flew a model plane right over his head) but then again he hasn't been ridden out with anyone else yet either. That's the next plan for his training (as soon as I pluck up courage) but I was thinking one horse at a time to start with!

I see you live in Warwickshire (been there, it was lovely) but I'm near Brighton so we are all rather spread out aren't we?

Alice, hope this afternoon went well. I intended to be keen today, I even had the tack in the boot of the car, but then dd started saying she felt sick and to be fair she did look pale and her forehead felt hot so I relented and let her stay off school. Of course the weather is gorgeous now I'm stuck in, and after sleeping away the morning dd appeared announcing she was starving. She's polished off two slices of toast, a bowl of tomato soup, an apple and a yoghurt and is now upstairs singing . Bloomin' kids!
Luckily my mum has the day off so she has lunged dhorse and given him a lesson in walking nicely in-hand as his manners are dreadful!

Mitchy, I suppose you want us all to go bareback to make it fair. It would certainly be interesting .

I did it! I did It!!!!! He has grown loads in 4 months ( was a skinny runt before) and he feels scarily athletic seeing as he was retired from racing because he was crippled. Didn't feel 100% up there, but we did 10 mins and nothing bad happened, so will try again tomorrow (more of a grimace)

Sorry to hear your dd was unwell pixel My dd slept this morning, so i had to take her to play with a friend over lunchtime so she would sleep this afternoon so i could ride!!

Is that your lovely young horse on your profile? He looks gorgeous!

well done alicecrail

unfortunately my name is all about horse riding falls . i had a nasty accident in NZ when the rains snapped as I was trying to stop a horse that was running away with me(was on a farm stay and didn't check the tack, it was really worn). A good job i insisted on a hat - it probably saved me from serious injury. So, I came back and had some lessons to build my confidence. First lesson my horse bucked, taking me by complete surprise and i sailed over his head and dislocated my shoulder.

I did ride again in the New Forest but I was so nervous I think I spooked the really placid pony i was on as he went a bit loopy too. Although I did cope quite well, i didnt really enjoy it.

I accept I will never be a "get on anything" type of rider again but I would like to be happy going for a hack now and again.

Good luck Pixel - your horse sounds lovely. I hope you get your nerve back soon.

Twofalls, that's just it, to be able to go for a carefree hack would be so lovely, we can leave all the leaping around to other people! To have your rein break at speed must have been terrifying .

Alice, well done . I managed 10 mins or so in the paddock today but I really wish it wasn't on a slope as there's not much you can do in there, especially on an unbalanced baby. Yes that's him in the photo, but like your boy he has grown and filled out quite a lot since then (although he is 'bum-high' atm so it prob due for another growth spurt ). He's outgrown that bridle and got a full-size one now and we've had his Wintec widened. I think we accidently bought a shire horse! I will put a more up-to-date pic up when he looks a bit less hairy .

hi i am new to this but saw that alicecrail you live very near me! I keep my horses in soham and have the same loading and riding issues as you! Dont be put off by fenning farms website girls they are so very supportive on the clear round evenings even i have been there is on this tuesday starts at 4pm for the tiny (just what i like) x poles. Well what i really wanted from here was to see if anyone knew of any good instructors for the nervours rider and mad tb???? local to Soham or willing to travel here without costing the earth

thanks xx

Hi katie
There is an event rider just by old tiger stables who is really lovely, and although i have not had lesson's with her, i know people who have. She is called fiona. Also there is an instructor from old tiger called Helen who a friend's little girl has lessons with and has helped friends dd loads.
We are not going to be at cr evening this month as i have kitchen stuff being delivered on tuesday, (sometime between 2 and 9pm ) but my dh is competing our tb next sunday at the sj, just the cr and possibly the first class, as they are both beginners! I am usually at all the shows there as i help with them. They are always looking for helpers if you are interested and then you get a free entry, or use of the arena in exchange. Good luck on tuesday

Hello - have just discovered this thread and am reading with great interest. Can I say what an enormous reassurance it is to know that I am not alone in losing my confidence now that I am a mother!

I have started a thread here to seek opinions on whether I should ride again - please do have a read and let me know what you think.