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Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

Original poster

Have any of you lost your nerve riding and managed to get it back?

63 replies

Pixel · 15/02/2009 21:41

I was never the bravest rider as a teenager but I still got on and did everything, jumping, hair-raising gallops, riding bareback, you name it. I didn't ride for quite a few years as my pony had to be retired but have now got a new horse.

Of course I don't expect to be as brave as when I was a kid. I'm not as agile now and I have my own children to think of so wouldn't want to take unnecessary risks. Also, I'm much more limited as to where I can ride, no school and no more straight out onto the Downs. But I've been surprised at just how scared and pathetic I am. This darling little horse hasn't really put a foot wrong so far and I'm so nervous of him, whereas my old pony was an absolute terror and I still rode him for miles in all weathers!

We've had this one 18 months now and I thought I'd be feeling quite brave by now but I'm not. Ok, we have been taking things very slowly because we found out that he was only 2 when we got him, not gone 3 as we were told, so the fact that I haven't cantered him yet isn't solely due to my lack of nerve but secretly I'm relieved that I've had an excuse. But he will be 4 this summer so the excuse won't hold for much longer .

Anyway, we haven't done much with him at all this winter as he is still young, but we haven't turned him away completely as he loves going out. Any work he has done has been for my benefit really otherwise I feel I might never get on him again! Once a week (weather permitting) I have a lesson which consists of riding him out round quiet roads with my instructor walking with me and working on getting me to relax, sit back properly, not grab at him all the time (not helped by his amazing walk which makes me feel we are flying along) and remember to use my legs instead of freezing up. When the paddock dries up she is going to lunge him with me on too.

I do feel I've made progress. I'm more relaxed than I was and am starting to have more faith in his steadyness instead of imagining he is going to shy at every little thing. It just all seems so slow and such a waste as he is really gorgeous and is going to be the perfect family horse if I can only get over this. I should be able to ride out with my sister on her pony by now but have only done it twice and she got fed up with me panicking all the time.

Very long post, sorry it wasn't going to be!
I just thought it would give me some hope if anyone else had experienced the same and managed to come out the other side and enjoy their horse again.

OP posts:
alicecrail · 05/03/2009 22:19

Its so horrible when you know you can do it, isn't it. I think lessons are a really good idea, especially if you go to a decent riding school and explain to them how you feel. If you get an instructor you trust then thats half the battle won. Rescue remedy i found was quite good for competition nerves

alicecrail · 06/03/2009 12:31

I rode today!! Didn't give myself a chance to think of excuses, my mare was fine (if a little spooky) and tomorrow i'm planning on riding my gelding, i haven't sat on him in about 4 months, but my dh has been riding him on and off and he's a beginner, so fingers crossed

Nekabu · 06/03/2009 17:10

Well done for today; good luck for tomorrow and enjoy!

Original poster
Pixel · 07/03/2009 17:00

Well done Alice.

Unfortunately when I rode wednesday I was supposed to have been working so I've had to spend the rest of the week catching up (oops), but I'm hoping for nice weather next week.

I'm glad I started this thread because now I know I'm not the only one battling nerves I actually feel encouraged to try and do more. I've seen some threads on the Horse and Hound forum where nervous riders have been mentioned (as in 'there's a woman at my yard..') and people have been saying that if they are so 'useless' they shouldn't bother having a horse etc. I've told myself those comments are written mainly by big-headed teenagers but I'm still very glad Mumsnetters are so much nicer!

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alicecrail · 07/03/2009 17:06

Yes, or my beloved Aunt! she's a twat She likes to think she is better than anyone else, but really is crap.

I was really going to ride today, but my dd was wide awake this morning (having slept for 12hrs straight last night, so can't complain really!) And i tend to only ride if she's asleep in the car (parked by the school) and then this afternoon, they were bloody shooting in the next field. oh well we can all try again tomorrow

MitchyInge · 08/03/2009 10:48

@ comments from H and H

why do people have to be so nasty? there are a couple of people at my yard who are excessively anxious (or maybe depressed), one cries a lot during her lessons and I have secretly wondered why she puts herself through it, and one is just wired that way, she's just a nervous sort of person (not as a result of any horrible accidents) but on the whole I think most people admire them for doing something about their fears. They must get enough out of their horses to make it all worthwhile?

good luck for today alice, it looks like a beautiful day out there!

alicecrail · 08/03/2009 15:43

Not a chance!!! Gale force winds (we're out on the fens where it is open and flat!) he was enough of a bugger going in the paddock! He is an ex-racehorse though so he is a bit of a nelly sometimes (bless him )

MitchyInge · 08/03/2009 16:25

ah hello from a bit further south in Suffolk (I grew up on the edge of the fens in Norfolk though)

tomorrow's another day

alicecrail · 09/03/2009 11:39

Where abouts are you? We live in newmarket but our horses are out towards soham

MitchyInge · 09/03/2009 16:10

right in the middle of Suffolk, slightly towards Bury St Eds - horse lives in Mendlesham

any luck riding today?

alicecrail · 09/03/2009 20:53

No just a bugger of a day really, DD was awake all morning and this afternoon i had to get feed and my dad was coming over at 4.30, so seem to have rushed all day.

My horses are kept at Fenning Farm show centre, i don't know if you've heard of it? And my Dh is a vet in Newmarket. Its mad that we're so close!

Original poster
Pixel · 09/03/2009 23:42

Sorry you had a bad day Alice. As it happens I had a pretty good one. My instructor came over this morning and rode dhorse for me as we wanted to take him for his first look at the river bank. There is a nice wide path there that used to be a railway line but it is quite busy with cyclists etc plus lots of other horses in a field that tend to rush up to the fence. I didn't feel brave enough to take him first time but he was brilliant. He gawped a bit at first at seeing so much water as the river is almost at the sea at that point and quite wide, but he walked under the scary loud flyover where the dual carriageway goes over the river without turning a hair. He was also introduced to walking through deep puddles and investigated the sculptures along the path with great interest, including a giant wooden heron and a train! The only time he got a bit 'bouncy' was when we came to the horse field but he soon settled down again. Halfway back I felt confident enough to get on (also because I was having trouble keeping up, I'm still not completely over my chest infection and was wheezing away!) and I stayed very relaxed even when we went past a building site with the cement mixer going. When we got back I didn't want to get off . I'm so proud of my clever little horse!

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Original poster
Pixel · 09/03/2009 23:55

I've just googled Fenning farm , very posh!

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alicecrail · 10/03/2009 08:37

Well done you! Your little horse sounds like a star!

Fenning is lovely, but up for sale sadly, although its quite nice because there is only one other livery there and the owners and i'm the only one that rides so it's like having a school of my own. I help out with the shows there too, which is quite good fun as there is a dressage judge that is slightly mad but really knowledgable that i sometimes write for and i have learnt so much from her.

I doubt i will ride today as i'm at my sewing class this morning, but will try to lunge both this afternoon and then get on one tomorrow.

Have a good day all

seeker · 10/03/2009 08:46

When I went back to riding after having dd, I found that I was not only useless, but terrified. The uselessness got better once I got used to the way my body had changed, but the terror never went, and I finally stopped forcing myself. I still miss it, but it just wasn't worth the stress! I watch dd becoming the sort of confident rider I used to be and feel a bit sad, but so it goes.

alicecrail · 10/03/2009 08:53

Poor you

i am determined to get over this, but was having a chat with a friend yesterday who said

"If you have a back or leg injury, something people can see, no-one gives you a hard time over it, but just because the injury is to your mind, why is that something to be sneered at and not taken seriously. Because it is often much worse than a physical injury."

I think that summed it up pretty well to be honest.

MitchyInge · 10/03/2009 08:55

fenning farm a bit too well heeled for me but if I could get my monster to load it ought to be possible to come and play at yours! at the moment we can only go anywhere in hacking distance - it would be great to have a mumsnet sponsored endurance ride or something . . . but back to reality, what a brave boy you've got Pixel!

Original poster
Pixel · 10/03/2009 16:35

Aw Seeker, that's a shame. But never say never. My mum rode as a child but never thought she'd take it up again as an adult then managed to get two pony-mad daughters! When we were teenagers we'd finally managed to save up enough to get our first pony so she was involved again like it or not, then someone at the yard offered us her horse on weekend loan. Mum was petrified at first but he was a wonderful horse and really looked after my mum, he refused to canter even on group rides until he was sure she was ready! Eventually his owner asked if we would like to have him as she wanted him to go to a good home so how could we say no? It took Mum 3 weeks to pluck up the courage to tell my dad she owned a horse . She still wasn't a brave rider but had faith in Zeb so did lots of things she never thought she would, like sponsored rides etc.

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Original poster
Pixel · 10/03/2009 16:39

Mitchy, you've given me a good laugh there. Can you imagine us lot? Does 1/2 a mile up the road without fainting with fear count as 'endurance'?

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MitchyInge · 10/03/2009 17:17

Don't worry, I'll lead the way

Original poster
Pixel · 10/03/2009 18:20

following someone who has no concept of fear, let me see....

Nope, that doesn't make me feel better .

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alicecrail · 10/03/2009 18:43

Lol at well heeled Mitchy!
Have just put some photo's of horses on my profile, will try to add more later. My mare is a very good lead horse - i spook before she does!!

MitchyInge · 10/03/2009 22:14

ahhhh beautiful

I must get some of mine, but not when he is standing there looking as if he wants to be turned into glue . . .

come on pixel, it'll be fun - think of all those massive ditches we can soar across!

alicecrail · 10/03/2009 22:22

Talk about massive - just before i fell pregnant, i took my little mare out hunting for the first time (she was 6 and only 15hh) and we ended up jumping a hedge that was 4foot 6 inches!!!!!!! It was the most amazing feeling ever.
Ive still got my memories...shuffles off muttering to herself.....

Original poster
Pixel · 10/03/2009 23:22
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