Possibly buying first pony. So unsure!

[HayGal]

I've learnt loads from discussion on this board and would love your opinions. DD is 11 and has always been horse mad. She's been back at lessons, both private and group, for a year. Her confidence was shattered by bullying at school and its crept into everything including riding. The weekly lessons are great but its a different horse every week and shes not getting her jumping confidence back. So we started looking for a pony and think we have found one. The pony is 14hh and seems to be the right balance of steady and mature and knows what to do but needs the rider to tell him what to do. Problem is she'll probably outgrow him quickly. So do we take the chance and see it as an investment. Or do we keep going with weekly lessons. There are lots of younger going forward ponies around but the older but not too old ponies are harder to find.

Ugh sorry that was an info dump.

I would be careful not to over horse her if she has a confidence issue, this would only make it worse.

A steady pony of the right size for her now is probably the way I would go, and 14 hands is not small, especially if he has a bit of chunk.

I rode a 13.2 Fell as an adult no problem. If its a good a pony as you say you wont be a problem selling on when the time comes, if you can take the heartbreak.

We couldn't, which is how I ended up riding my daughters Fell pony for years.

Unsure about this particular pony, or about buying a pony in general?

As you've discovered ponies/horses in that bracket (14hh-15.2) that are quiet, suitable for a novice nervous child and older but not too old, plus affordable, are like absolute hens teeth /unicorns so well done for finding one. What more are you waiting/hoping for, or rather what's making you hesitate? I get the outgrowing thing particularly if you're a keep the pony forever type of family but TBH anything bigger is going to be too big for her right now and it's always wise to buy the pony you need now not the one you think you'll need in a year's time. Particularly with a nervous rider you always, always want to under-horse them (in terms of physical size and easiness/quietness) not overdo it, I'm not a fan of children growing into ponies in general, so I'd say slightly on the smaller size for her height is actually perfect.

I guess my caution would be more around your and her overall readiness for a pony rather than this one specifically. I don't want to come across negative and obviously everyone has to have a first pony somewhere, but are you a horsey family or is this the family's first pony as well as DDs? Have you got your arrangements ready for where/how you'll keep the pony, will it be at the riding school and will she still have regular lessons? A years worth of lessons and not fully confident doesn't scream totally ready for own pony to me. Of course I fully get that group lessons and swapping horses every time isn't always helpful for a more nervous child but I would generally expect that any privately owned pony will be as challenging at times, particularly during the settling in phase, if not more so, than the most difficult/sharp pony a good riding school uses. So if she's nervous on some of the school ponies are you sure she'll be ok on her own pony and able to work through some wobbly moments? Do you and she have the experience and confidence to know when to take it slow with groundwork etc and when to push on with an unfamiliar pony, or do you have the budget for a lot of professional help at least at first? What experience does she have riding outside of lessons? Apologies if you've worked through all this already, like I say sometimes on this board we come across so cautious it's like no-one is ever ready for their own pony but we don't mean it, it's just forewarned is forearmed and all that!

OP, sorry meant to say, have you explored a share?

Sounds like a great fit, I second the 14hh is not too small and won’t be outgrown too quickly sentiment, especially if its a native or cob (wider type.) Well done on finding such a good fit, I’d snap them up and get on with rebuilding her confidence both in and out of the saddle. Sorry to hear she’s had a tough go of it lately. X

Buy the pony for the rider she is now, not the rider she might or might not be in 2 years time.

ive done heaps of instructing/schooling/reschooling in my time and the main thing I’d take from that is it is so much better to be a bit underhorsed and find it very easy than slightly overhorsed.

So many replies, thank you all.

@Nellieinthebarn agree re not over horse DD as that's been a challenge with lessons sometimes as the pony or horse can be tall for her or forward going for her. Its a reason shes not built up more confidence i think. My gut feeling is hes right size for now. We are animal lovers so think he'll stay if he comes.

@maxelly fantastic list of questions. 100% agree about forewarned, its a big step. We've most thought of thankfully as not rushing into it. Part of the reticence is it would be our first time owning a horse so want to do right by it and us. We're on a farm so plenty space but yes will continue lessons and maybe top ups privately so she'll have the right guidance. Could also do livery locally to bed him in and ys in. It is a risk because what you see when buying isn't what you get, no matter how many visits and vetting you do. Have kept looking as she's a different child when she's with horses. It feels right but I'm cautious person so the niggle is there!

@Thatpastalife agree. Its like trying to find a unicorn!

@CurlewKate I see this as a big decision to get right fit for DD and its a hit financially. So it feels like the right pony at the right time, subject to vetting, but I'm wary of making g the 'wrong' decision!

Is there a particular pony she gets on with at the school? Could you have a word with the owner and see if she can definitely have that pony for a while? Have you considered a share arrangement? Sometimes that’s a sort of halfway house to being a horse owner.

Also- you say she’s 11. Bear in mind that she’ll have less time for riding as she gets older. You need to consider how that will work! Sorry-I hate to sound negative.

@CurlewKate no not negative at all, appreciate everyone's opinions. We tried for shares and loans and partnering but there's nothing locally.

Ah, so plan is to have pony at home? So you'll be needing to find a companion as well, that's an additional complicating factor. TBH I know it's more expensive and potentially moving and unsettling the pony twice but I'd be quite tempted if you go for it to have them on livery at first. It's just so, so helpful to have experienced help on hand and also for kids much more fun if there's things going on at the yard, other kids, lessons, trips out etc. I think it's easy to underestimate how boring riding on your own can be, even for an absolutely horse mad child they can lose interest quickly. Also presumably you don't have a school and lights at home (lucky you if you do), so with winter coming up her riding at home is going to be quite limited? Livery for 6 months until the spring and re-evaluate then would be my plan if share/loan not an option...

I would say go for it and if she isn’t already a member join whichever local pony club is most active so that she can get out and about and meet some nice like minded children . Make sure he loads ok .

If keeping horse at home you will need a companion, if you plan to take horse away from yard eg lessons etc then potentially 2 companions so you're never leaving 1 horse on its own.

What is your level of stable management knowledge?
Can you identify when a horse may have:

• colic
• laminitis
• injuries and how to treat
• when to call the vet
• routine care eg vaccinations, teeth, worming, shoeing
• paddock maintenance and poisonous plants?
• feeding
• tack fitting

Would highly recommend you and your DD get basic stable management lessons at a BHS approved yard.

Fwiw the head coach at my place is against people getting their own horses until they've done three of more years because part of riding skill comes from being able to ride a lot of different horses in different circumstances.

Very sensible.
I didn't let DD get one until she had passed her Pony Club C test

@somanypeople We have an option of livery close to us and planned to use that to learn. The challenge is that you can't learn from lessons and she can't join pony club or go trekking unless she has her own pony. We have a lot to learn but have a farm and support locally so will be ok if it goes ahead. Meeting instructor later to talk it thro and vet willing to travel if needed.
Thanks everyone, v kind to take time from your day to reply

Did you pick up the point about not being able to keep a pony at your farm by itself?

how tall is she and how much does she weigh?
I'm a 40+ adult (5ft3 and 9st) and my ponies at home are 13.1hh and 13.3hh, so she may no necessarily outgrow a 14hh pony any time soon.

@twistyizzy that is down the list with donkeys and sheep already here and option to foster a pony from a local rescue

@britnay shes v tall for her age from DH side as shes 5tft 4in already. She loves animals so will get v attached and wanted to try to get a height that would be suitable as long as possible. But you are right this height will be fine for ages.

Just a warning, I absolutely love donkeys but not all horses/ponies do! A pair of donks recently arrived to live on my livery yard and most of the horses to put it politely, completely lost their shit when they arrived! We're talking properly frightened of them. Some still can't even be stabled or out to graze next to the donkeys never mind have them as companions. My boy's quite brave and largely ignores them but I'm not sure he'd be very happy just having them and sheep for friends. I understand donkey husbandry needs are quite different too in terms of diet and grazing and so on.

But it's not insurmountable, like you say it's easy enough to pick up a little rescue pony as companion. The trouble you then do start down a slippery slope, your companion might end up needing a companion for when you take your ridden horse out, then the companions don't get along or have different food needs and have to be split up and so you need some more companions for the first companions and before you know it you have a whole herd and you're a mad horse lady 😂

Thanks @maxelly animals and humans are more alike with their interpersonal challenges than you'd realise. We've had to separate hens who could not agree the pecking order. It is a minefield for sure. And slippery slope also. This discussion and all the questions and comments has really helped. Will see what instructor says later as she knows DD best when it comes to horses.

WRT donks as companions the same can be said about miniature ponies and shetlands ,we bought my late thoroughbred a small shetland companion and she adored him but when I bought a new horse ( Anglo Arab mare) she looked at him as if he was some kind of freak and they couldn’t safely be turned out as a threesome

They need same species company. It's not a nice to have, it's essential for welfare. Many horses are afraid of donkeys so it can be tricky to integrate them.

I would ask at her riding stables about a share type arrangement on a school pony. We have found this ideal for our daughter the same age - 4 hours on a Saturday with a bit of riding but a lot of horse care and yard work. Only when she’s proved that she will do the work (including the shit work) in all weathers through a couple of winters, that is surely the time to buy?