Possibly buying first pony. So unsure!

[HayGal]

I've learnt loads from discussion on this board and would love your opinions. DD is 11 and has always been horse mad. She's been back at lessons, both private and group, for a year. Her confidence was shattered by bullying at school and its crept into everything including riding. The weekly lessons are great but its a different horse every week and shes not getting her jumping confidence back. So we started looking for a pony and think we have found one. The pony is 14hh and seems to be the right balance of steady and mature and knows what to do but needs the rider to tell him what to do. Problem is she'll probably outgrow him quickly. So do we take the chance and see it as an investment. Or do we keep going with weekly lessons. There are lots of younger going forward ponies around but the older but not too old ponies are harder to find.

Ugh sorry that was an info dump.

I would imagine that as a farming family the OP already has a handle on whether her daughter will do being out in all weathers and she will learn more and gain much more confidence with her own pony providing she has plenty of backing and tuition .

@tinyspiny DD is more used to rain and mud etc than most for sure but as @EBoo80 says full on commitment is a new level.

DD had a less than ideal riding lesson yesterday. Some of the school ponies and horses know what they don't want to do and she got one. He just wouldn't jump even low cross poles and she was getting more nervous as it went on. We'll vet the pony we have seen and then decide. She's at a cross roads where she either builds up her confidence or will lose more confidence and stop. Thanks everyone the opinions helped.

We have two. A 13.2 Welsh ridden by both my 11yr old and 15yr old (both girls are tall) and a 15.2 eventer just ridden by my 15yr old. Don’t go for a young forward horse as a first pony off riding school ponies it will likely end in disaster. What I would also say is that is that it is a huge commitment - my 11yr old is already finding the secondary school sports/homework + riding 3times a week (her sister rides it the other 2/3times) to keep her pony fit a total bind and we’re heading into winter which is likely to make it all seem so much harder…. My 15yr old gets up at 5am and rides before school some days to fit it all in. Could you perhaps look at a part loan? Facebook groups are a great way to find those or ask the local pony club. Lots of people need help a few days a week caring for and exercising their ponies for the very reasons stated above, that way she gets to treat it as her own without the full on commitment.

I was pony mad and bought a 12.2hh when I was just 11- I was small but didn't outgrow him until I was 15, and he was still fine to ride and i didn't rehome him until I was 17- I had a whale of a time and loved every moment.

Get a pony on full loan and do all the work for 6 months. Twice a day (or more) feeding, turning out, mucking out, easily takes 2 hours a day before you even get to riding. Do the 6am before school jobs every day, weekends included, no lie ins. And the in the dark and the ice with a head torch in December ones. See if the thrill is still there after 6 months of the daily grind.

Also keep in mind if you keep pony at home, you need a horse companion. And have a plan for what happens to the companion when you go riding. Can your dd lead the companion? Can you walk with it? What if you go to a show? Can you bring it with you? The rare pony can be happily left alone, but many cannot. This is why people end up with 3-4 horses at home just trying to keep one happy.

April 20th, 1970. A magical day - my parents bought me my first pony. He was eleven years old, I was thirteen. I loved him from the day I got him, and continued to adore him. I had him until he was thirty four years old, and even though I was an adult and married, it broke my heart to have to have him put to sleep. I always had a Shetland pony with him for company, and of course 'had' to get something for company for them when he passed - and so it continued. Many years down the line (I'm now sixty seven ... gulp - how did that happen?!) and I still have two donkeys, one aged thirty two and one at thirty (had them since they were babies), and two Shetland ponies, both in their twenties. I can't imagine not having them, and love being with them. Mind you, there's been times when I'm pushing a heaped wheelbarrow through mud that I wonder if budgies might be a whole lot easier! Lol!
Get the pony, be prepared to be helping out in all weathers, and possibly be the one responsible for its care when your daughter 'discovers' boys. Be accepting of the fact that you'll be picking hay out of your hair at odd times, beautiful nails will be a thing of the past and your car will smell of horse crap because there'll always be a pair of wellies in there covered in the stuff. Most of all ... enjoy - I did, and still do!

Whatever else you do GET A VET'S OPINION ON THE PONY before you buy..

@Jillybloop393 such beautiful words, your happiness oozes from what you wrote.

@llizzie yes 100%. Have an equine vet looking at his availability.

@HayGal I don’t really have any practical advice but the best of luck to you whatever you decide.

Lovely to hear your daughter is enjoying riding so much and whatever the way forward whether you go for this pony or another or a share, hope she and all of you as a family enjoy!

Your post gave me a smile as I’m at the other end of this at the moment and @Jillybloop393 your reply did even more. What lovely characters you have had for such a long time. I’ve just sadly said goodbye to my childhood pony this week after 25 years with him… hence drifting about these boards for a little bit of comfort. My parents bought him for me when I was turning 13 and although completely devastated to have lost him I feel more priveleged than I can express to have still had him when I’m nearing 40 and both of us were going grey (he was a 14hh Fell and I rode him as an adult too).

This isn’t to sway you, I know you will weigh up all your own knowledge and the advice you’ve sought and make the right decision for your family, but this just all gave me a smile when I needed it.

I am very touched by all your messages. The happy memories ones, the cautionary ones and all between. It feels right to keep going, we can give a happy home to another animal and maybe it will give DD back some of her confidence in herself and in life after a brutal time at school. Thank you xxx

I would definitely look at the share/loan option first.

We did that first, loaned a lovely 14.3 pony for a year but dd had a big growth spurt and I was too tall for him We had planned to buy our own as a mother/daughter share anyway. Loaning was a great way to experience the commitment and cost first.
We ended up buying a 16.1 Irish Sports Horse and have him 7 years now.
DD is in the Royal Navy now and the horse is effectively mine, love him bits and wouldn’t be without him. I’m a happy hacker and he’s just right for me
We’re still in touch with the other pony and he’s in the best forever home

For what it’s worth, we bought DD 11 a 14hh cob a year ago and are now looking for our next. She’s fine hight wise- I can hack him too, but as her confidence has grown, she needs something slightly more forward. Wise words I was told is to buy the right pony for now. Confidence is hard to build but easy to loose. Accept that you might have to buy again in 18 months but that is part and parcel of riding.

Maybe consider rehoming one from World Horse Welfare or Redwings Horse Sanctuary, they give a lot of support and advice.

Lovely. Good luck. I’m sorry to hear your daughter is going through such a hard time. I know that was part of the thinking of my parents back in the day, I had been struggling at school and with friendships and certainly for me it was a very anchoring relationship through my school days and beyond. Be lovely to hear how you get on if you do go for it!

My mum died when I was a child. Was always horse-mad. Luckily my Dad was able to afford a pony for me when I was 13. Without the horse, not sure I’d have got through my teens in tact. Was at a livery yard (affordable back then), so lots of support, friends and fun. My recommendation would be definitely buy the pony and go for the livery yard, if you can afford it. Good luck.

Why will she have less time for riding as she gets older?

I had 2 ponies competition fit on DIY livery through my GCSE's and college, competing every weekend - no trouble at all. I was surrounded by people who did the same and now their children are doing it. The "ponies not getting ridden enough because of exams" people have always baffled me.

@RedPony1 totally agree , I kept 2 horses fit through Olevels / A levels and doing my nursing qualification , it’s just time management.

While I agree with the sentiment, I don’t think riding the small selection of beginners ponies found in your typical UK riding school in weekly lessons where you are never allowed to do much anyway because ‘health and safety’ is ever going to produce a really competent rider.

Getting a pony doesn’t have to mean the end of variation - on the contrary it can open up more opportunities for this. Our pony club rallies always feature a bit pony swapping, plus meeting fellow pony owners will inevitably result in more casual swaps and ride offers. Child could end up riding anything from a top class schoolmaster to a newly backed youngster.

11 is a perfect age for a pony, I was around that age when I got my first one and it was the making of me. Horses ended up my career as well as my passion. Just make sure that said pony is the right one. So so easy to make an expensive mistake, especially if you lack experience. Lots of unscrupulous sellers out there that will say anything you want to hear - never believe anything you are told, always verify for yourself. Vet check is important but that only covers health and soundness. You also need to make sure that the pony is good and safe to ride and handle in all ways - hacking alone and in company, open spaces, loading… anything that you might want to be doing.

Admittedly the approach to winter isn’t a brilliant time to buy a first pony, although the livery yard plan could work well here, assuming the yard has a good floodlit ménage (or even better, an indoor arena!)

Finally, be sure to factor in transportation and pony club fees into your calculations. It gets lonely and boring very quickly just riding at home and having nothing to aim for. And obviously she’ll need to keep up with regular lessons too. Good luck!

One of the things I struggled with when mine were in pony club was the need to move on to new ponies. The experienced pony club mums would move their child on every 18 months. There was lots of ponies being passed onto younger siblings, cousins, friends etc or being loaned out till the next child was ready. One pony did 6 different children in our pony club whilst my dc were there over a period of roughly 8 years. It’s not just size of pony, if you leave them on their first ridden for 4 years they will not progress.

I would add that you have to be prepared to drive to the end of every bridle path to make sure what goes in comes out again.

So vet check is done. Paid for full suite of x rays so we know current health of legs and possibility of issues.
Comments on report are CE NAD, mild response flexion, ML post exercises, palmar angle flat and ?? hoof spurring. Comment that pony is ok for intended use.
Dr Google of course gives every scenario but mainly worst. It reads like ok at the moment but might have issues depending on where and how ridden even for lower level use like us in pony camp.
Any of this mean anything to anyone here. Ill talk to vet later and am listing questions to ask. My main things are potential health issues and factoring that into cost.
Thanks all.

Back in the day you just had someone trot it up and down and you had to tell from that! Depending on what the vet says I would use it as a lever to lower the price-at least to cover the cost of the X-rays!
It sounds as if the pony is ok ,but has had some hard riding which could show up later. The problem with doing a lot of research like this is that it will have to be declared when you insure, which is guaranteed to increase the cost.

I would worry about long term soundness issues

Wow .... you've found a pony, how exciting (and worrying!). What's it like - sex, age, colour, height etc? So excited for you!

@Laurmolonlabe thanks. I see your point re insurance but on balance getting the x rays was to help us non horsey people have a reasonable idea what we are buying. The vet that vetted is the routine vet for this horse so am glad to have physical evidence to lean on (options locally for equine vets was limited and preferred option had a bereavement and wouldn't be available)
My sense of it us that we go ahead with a price factoring in some of thus if owner agrees.