Giving up horses

[theninthwave]

Anyone got positive stories about giving up horses?
I am almost 60, my horse is 29. I've had horses for 35 years, current one since she was a yearling. I've always managed on my own with no support, paid a mortgage and maintained a home, plus paid for horses on one salary.
I looked after my father for 12 years when he had dementia. I am tired and would like to semi retire in the next five years and do other stuff, like have holidays and a social life.
Not planning to get another horse after the oldie goes, but see so many people saying it's like a part of them is missing.
Really need some positive stories to help me to embrace a different stage in my life!
Am aware that the grief of losing the old one will be immense. Would be good to think there is a life out there after that.

Following with interest. Not at the same stage as you , I'm 60 and can't imagine giving up ever. I do often speak to people who have given up and gone on to do different things with their life. Horses can be all consuming, (especially if youre not on a yard). I hope you get to enjoy lots of holidays and days out when the time comes. If you really miss being around them, you could always volunteer at a local stables.

I'm 66 and my boy is 26 and we just do pootling hacks now. I won't have another after him but I'll probably look for a share to hack out once it twice a week. The thought of horse hunting puts me off now and the yard I'm at is owned by an elderly couple and so many yards have closed locally that I'm just hoping they hang on longer than he does

I had horses for 15 years and gave up about 3 years ago and will not own another. I really miss having the relationship with my horse but I do not miss the stress and worry. I lost my heart horse 4 years ago and got another but my heart wasn't in it and the issues at livery made it so stressful. Even the farrier having to reschedule made things difficult with a busy job. Not to mention the escalating costs, there is no way I could afford to buy a safe, sane cob to put up with my bumbling about.

I am very lucky in that one of my closest friends I met through horses so I still get a bit of a horsey fix going to see her and accompany her to lessons, competitions etc.

What it has meant is the money I have saved means I will shortly be able to give up my stressful job and look for something part time, my plan is to volunteer at the RDA and potentially a share. I have no regrets.

I gave up completely in 2017 I was early 50’s and had owned horses all my life; I have a terrible weakness for Arabs and TBs as I do like a proper galloping horse. I had a fall I was not injured but it suddenly brought it home to me that my days of riding young often highly strung slightly unpredictable horses are over, I’ve ridden intermittently since on holiday etc mainly cob/native types but they just don’t gallop properly so ultimately I’m slightly bored. I follow racehorses of the track on Facebook and occasionally look at Arabians LInes but I doubt I’ll ever get another one.
Yes a part of me is definitely missing I especially miss a lovely morning gallop but then I think about the hours you put in training/retraining them the heart break and disappointment when they injury themselves the day before the completion you’ve spent weeks preparing for, the hassle of livery yards, the endless bills; vet bills, physio bills, vet bills, farrier bills. vet bills, struggling to get a saddle to fit you flat backed low withered broad chested Arabian, worrying about your TBs feet, mud pulling his shoes off in the field, the microscopic cut on his leg that will almost certainly go septic, all of this anxiety for the few occasions it actually goes right I’m sure you understand. And now I’ve got money in the bank and am not spending my every waking moment doing horse things or worrying about horses and frankly I feel relieved.

I’m 40+ years into constant horse ownership and despite still owning my son’s old pony I gave up completely just after Covid . I did have a break of 20+ years where I didn’t ride but was still very much involved in care etc as at one point we had 3 retired and 1 temporarily out of work . I find that if I ride and get involved then I’m hooked and need to be all in but if I just stay away then I’m fine and don’t miss it . Our pony is on full livery and retired (32) so I literally just wave at her and pay bills she is extremely well cared for . I gave up for health reasons as I can’t deal with hay / hair / dust as I have emphysema . Once this one’s gone that’s it for me .

It’s really hard for the first year as I found the change in routine caused me to miss her all the more (she died of old age) plus she was kept at home. There were gaps in the day where I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I didn’t replace her but I did get some chickens. I wouldn’t recommend that as chicken maths is dangerous.
Sometimes I think I would like another but I’m really not sure

countrygirl99 Yes, the thought of horse hunting does put me off. There is also a shortage of good yards in the area and I don't have facilities at home. I have found the equestrian world to be a bit toxic in the past few years - probably just been unlucky as some of my best friends I've met through the horses.

GingerRuby
I also have a stressful job and it would be great to give it up. I don't think I will get another but it's hard envisioning the transition.

NosnowontheScottishhills I have had a couple of falls riding other people's horses in the past two years. Shocked me how long it took to recover. I have a friend who is in a wheelchair due to a riding accident and my best friend died in a riding accident. Have thought about getting a pony to show in hand but not sure I want all the hassle, that you have excellently described!

I have and I haven’t!

I no longer keep my own horses on our property but go to my sister’s every day and she has two horses and I ride with her and help her with the horses.

tinyspiny I am asthmatic and I am sure it's aggravated by the horsey environment, but I've just sort of managed it. You raise a good point.

WittyJadeStork You made me laugh re the chickens!
Mine is on part livery as DIY is hard to come by locally, plus I have a busy job. I think I will find the evenings and weekends the hardest, but trying to make plans in advance.
I suppose we can always go back to having horses. Funds permitting.

@theninthwave ive also got Addisons disease and it was a vicious circle , the horsey environment made the chest worse so I then had to take more steroids for the Addisons and that then made my skin thin and the slightest knock was causing skin tears so my arms look like I’ve been self harming quite alarmingly . I also have vitiligo so my ‘scars’ all stay white .

I lost my last horse to old age when he was 28, that was 10yrs ago and I’ve never looked back . I never realised how restrictive my life was because I was so used to it . Now at 60 I am recently retired and am relishing the freedom this new chapter has given me , which would have been difficult as a horse owner . It goes without saying I have more money but it’s the time that’s the biggest benefit . I’ve never regretted not getting another .

hattie43 Thank you for this. I think this is how I will feel. It's probably the thought of the transition that's scaring me. That and knowing I'll have to make a decision about my old girl soon. She's pretty arthritic and I'm not sure I'll put her through another winter.

Yes the time. I competed so it’s a 24/7 commitment. Schooling keeping fit lessons more lessons worrying about fitness interval training twice a week schooling taking heart rates obsessively checking legs, is he slightly lame on the off side fore, is there heat in that foot are they gaining too much weight oh God he’s loosing condition a bloody shoe has come off. I could go on. Then add in normal everyday stuff mucking out poo picking fields trips to the feed merchant cleaning tack washing numnahs. Writing this has made me realise I’m so relieved Im no longer devoting my every waking moment to horses.

I've had a horse but he died young. I miss him but I don't miss being a horse owner. I can help my friends with their horses, have riding lessons etc if I want to. But I enjoy my own life now, I've been there and done that. It was an experience but its something I no longer need or want to do

Completely off topic but are you talking about eventers?

The two yards with some of the most successful current junior BS competition riders I found surprisingly relaxed and not at all obsessive about how their (shockingly expensive) horses are treated. By that I mean they are treated like ordinary horses rather than being obsessively monitored. It really surprised me. Maybe it's different for seniors or eventing/dressage yards.

I gave up after I lost my old boy and didn’t really think about it until I was driving on a sunny day and went past a rider cantering with a huge grin on her face

burst into tears and a few months later had a part loan for the next 10 years!

I think it’s normal for it to come and go in whatever variation, if you miss it there will always be options

Endurance Arabs really for monitoring. I gave it up did dressage only to medium very different demands but still demands.

I am in my 50s my horses are both 17 and I won't have more after they go. My plan is to maximise one of the things I enjoy most about having horses so get out and cycle and walk instead of hacking.

I already do both but find I am enjoying the cycling more and more as bikes don't levitate sideways if they see a deer jump out in front of them! I have ridden all my life and had horses of my own for well over 40 years so will really miss it.

My dd events and has worked for 5* eventers - as far as I can tell the eventers’ horses are treated much more like ‘normal’ horses - turn out (often 24/7), hacking etc. A lot of pro SJ/dressage yards don’t turn out at all 🤷‍♀️. I think partly it’s because the eventers have to be really fit and you don’t get those levels of fitness from being stuck inside a stable or postage stamp-sized paddock .. DD’s competition horses are out unless the weather is absolutely foul (3 or 4 days a year) or they’re being rehabbed.

Yes, we have been at a yard that doesn't turn out at all because of risk of injury and loss of energy apparently, which was awful. But that yard isn't actually producing any successful SJs and as I say, the two yards we know where they have European-gold-winning ponies, these ponies are treated totally normally - some on 24/7 turn-out jumped straight from the field and definitely all hacked. Those that don't live out 24/7 are all still turned out for at least half a day. Really surprised me that they don't mind the risk of field injuries.

I'm in my forties and currently have two young retirees of 17 (injury and freak accident). I waiver between not wanting another and wanting to give it one last try.

However, I don't need to take a decision now and I've had a good few breaks in my life without horses or riding for various reasons and found plenty to fill my time.

Interestingly, I've seen quite a few ads lately for people looking for a sharer for a non-rideable horse (for free) and thought if I didn't have my retirees, I'd be quite tempted by that - I've always done quite a lot of hand-walking and long-reining and have some groundwork clinics booked over the summer for the oldies. None of the stress of falling and none of the expensive bills!

@Pleasedontdothat can’t find your thread so how is your daughters horse now ?