New pony worries

[Blankscreen]

I've recently bought my DD a new pony. We got him 4 weeks ago.

We went and viewed and tried him twice and all was ok.

He's 6 in May and definitely seems an old head on young shoulders type. His passport says he a cob (i.e no specified breed) he looks like he has a bit of Connemara in him.

He's come to our yard and he's seems quite flinchy. I realise he needs to get accustomed to things but the yard owner is doing my head in. He was on a much quieter yard before and our yard is vvv busy.

I don't think she has said one nice thing about our pony since he arrived.

He didn't know how to lunge so yo gave him a couple of lessons and he can now lunge but is very nervy round the lunge whip.

In my dd's last lesson with the yard owner the pulled his head down, yard owner flipped the lunge whip and pony shot his head up and whacked dd in the face. She fell off and we are now taking things very slow. I.e. no more lessons.

We've been out hacking and he is really good (with others and in company).

Today dd rode in the school with me helping her. Yo was giving a lesson at the other end.

It was going really well dd did some trotting and was enjoying herself and then the horse in the field next to the school went nuts and started galloping round. Dd said shall we stop now as I've had a good ride and she could feel he'd got tense.

We walked back towards the gate and the pony spooked. Yo had lunge whip and I said I think he scared of that to which she said I have moved it and :he's scared of everything'.

She then said that he freaked out yesterday when being toweled off by my niece who is schooling him twice a week and he is terrified of the head collar going on.
I've spoken to my niece and she said he was as good as gold and just moved a bit when she put the towel on his head (fair enough) but he was otherwise perfect.

I've noticed he seems nervous of the field gate as if that has whacked him.

I am so pissed off. She knows dd has lost her confidence so why couldn't she have made a positive comment about the fact she'd been trotting round rather focusing on the fact he had spooked.

Since he's arrived it's constant moaning from yo.

1. I've been told he's a nightmare in the field - he's not one day he was being playful but he is now at the bottom of the pecking order

1. He's filthy in the stable

1. He keeps breaking out the field. True because the fencing is shit.

I've bought and sorted electric fencing to keep him in. And just constant digs. I feel really down

Am I over thinking this. It feels like the yard owner rather than being supportive just want to turn the knife and be a bitch.
There are either kids and she is v v supportive of them.
Is a bit of a spook normal because in my head I feel like I am overthinking an blowing everything out of proportion. Niece thinks he is lovely and a good 'in and she has produced lots of ponies.

Find a new yard. The YO is a typical power hungry control freak. If you don't move it will pit your DD off for life. Good luck

Definitely find another yard, perhaps a smaller, quieter one with a better YO.

Have you had ponies on this yard previously?

What a shame things have got off to such a bad start… the blame rests solely with your YO.

I agree with what previous poster has said, the YO sounds dreadful.

You need to move to another yard as soon as possible and in the meantime pay your yard fees but have nothing to do with the YO.

Your pony sounds lovely, don’t let the YO spoil what should be an exciting time for your daughter.

I hope everything turns out well.

Yes we had our old pony here but he is the most easy going old boy ever. Nothing phased him.

Thank you everyone. I feel like we need to move so your comments are stopping me doubting myself x

Move- The YO is chipping away at all of your confidence.

Just to add he will hopefully settle in time and relax in himself.

We got our first pony from a really large busy yard. Huge. Multiple arenas, different yard areas etc. We moved to a large DIY yard, 50 horses, always super busy with people and horses and he didn’t miss a beat. Complete dope on a rope (in a good way!).

After 4 years we moved to a v small yard. About 9 horses in 2 herds. Very very quiet. You were often the only people there. For the first few weeks he was a spooky twit! Jumping at his own shadow. Flinching and starting when he was tied up on the small yard area. If we had just bought him I would have sworn we’d been bought a doped pony or something!

He did settle within a month or two… he’s just never been fond of small/quiet yards. When we moved another 4 years later it was to somewhere bigger/busier again and he found that transition much easier.

This is definitely a YO problem.

Try and find a new yard as soon as possible.
Best of luck and I hope your new pony settles in time.

Definitely move. YO clearly doesn't know one end of a horse from another. That's not how you treat an anxious new pony ( or any pony)
Your poor daughter! Pony sounds lovely. Just needs calmness and time I'd wager. Have you read the book Perfect Manners? I think it might help you (it's by Kelly Marks)

Blimey just move , and whatever you do in the meantime do not let this YO lunge / ride / give lessons to either the pony or your daughter . The YO sounds like an absolute whip happy nightmare .

1. Your yard owner will never change. My first yard owner disliked my young horse a lot, and moaned at me for something or other every time I came up. In the end I moved to a different yard, which had very different horses (competition horses instead of family pets) and they loved him. He was rather high maintenance compared to a lot of horses at the first yard, but very easy indeed compared to the competition horses at the 2nd yard.
2. Why are you letting anyone near your pony with a whip? He’s probably had a bad experience with one, as evidenced by his behaviour in a whip’s presence, and either needs teaching to go off other aides or needs teaching the whip is not a thing to beat him with.
3. No matter how much a ‘old head on young shoulders’ he might seem to you, the fact is that if he has been corrected and sympathetically backed then at 6 years old he is still very much at the start of his ridden career, and needs guidance. Are you and your children capable and enthusiastic educators? In a relationship with a horse, either the horse needs to be the knowledgeable one if the rider is learning, or the rider needs to be the knowledgable one if the horse is learning. A horse and rider learning together is a recipe for disaster unless the horse is a kind, gentle and willing to put up with errors a novice rider makes. A horse of 6 will try various actions, and some will be right and some will be wrong, and if a rider is not experienced enough to calmly correct a wrong action by the horse the horse will never learn it is wrong. I have seen too many children scared by green ponies, and too many ponies ruined by green riders. You say your daughter has lost confidence and has stopped having lessons - does she really have the experience level to teach a young clueless pony to be a genuine children’s pony for the riders he will have after her? There is a reason people pay a king’s ransom for experienced ponies.

I suspect in all reality you need a different pony at a different yard. That’s a hard journey to go on though.

I wouldn’t move just yet - give it a few months (without the YO teaching your DD or lunging your pony - get an external instructor in if you can), and see how the pony settles. Another move is probably not what the pony (or your daughter) needs right now.

In a few months, if the pony has settled but YO is still a pain, then you can move. If the pony hasn’t settled, then it’s likely not a good match between pony and rider.

I would echo what the previous poster said - I would not put any child on a 5 year old pony unless the child was an extremely good rider. “Green and green equals black and blue” and all that. Of course, some ponies are just saints, and it sounds like the pony is also being regularly schooled by a decent rider, so you may get away with it. But if your daughter is nervous or not experienced, I think there is a good chance you might find this 5 year old pony is not right for her.

When he arrived I thought I'd lunge him and he didn't know how to lunge. I had the lunge whip and he had absolutely no fear of it whatsoever.

The yard owner has taught him to lunge and he is now terrified of the whip 😢.

He's not scared of a schooling whip or jumping baton.

I didn't have a kings ransom (12-15k) to spend on buying a horse

Change yards!

You don’t need a £12-15k to spend on a horse! But you would benefit from having someone knowledgeable help you. Not your YO though by the sound of it. I feel for you, because you clearly haven’t got the experience to deal with a young green horse but now you are stuck with a young green horse that is going wrong. There is a reason experienced horses cost more than young ones - someone has put time and effort into them so that they know how to do the basics. But it doesn’t seem to matter how many times I say this, people still go out and buy horses they cannot manage. 🙄 Anyway, from this point in, it is clear you cannot trust your yard owner anywhere near him. But you need help. I don’t know who you know who can help you, but with a not-quite-6yo you’ve got about 3-4 years of work ahead of you to create that perfect pony other people will admire. I honestly don’t know why people do this. My own horse is rising 7, and she is coming along really nicely. But I feel I’ve built the skills over the last 40 years to give it a stab. Only just though! The rate we are going, she might even be able to hold her own in the competitions I’m aiming at in the next couple of years.

Ps don’t let the yo anywhere near him again. Not for schooling, lunging, lessons for your daughter, anything.

How's it going OP? Did you decide whether to move or not? Personally I would unless there's a way you can have lessons with someone independent of current yard owner at your current place. Professional input is so useful with any young horse particularly with a child rider...

Definitely move, some yards can be toxic environments and the YO sets the tone. Your pony may need kindness and gentle training if he is head shy- probably due to previous poor experiences and she doesn't sound at all helpful in this regard.

Id be tempted to take the lunge whip to the YO and would be moving asap. The pony needs calm, compassionate handling, it doesn't sound like you will be getting that from this individual, and a pony that is afraid will have no trust and be more inclined to spook anyway.
I've had young ponies that turn into saints even with a relatively green rider, if the temperament is right and you get a good instructor for lessons I'm sure you'll be fine

Bloody hell. There is nothing wrong with your new pony by the sound of it OP, there is everything wrong with your YO. Move him asap. And ignore lunging for a while - it isn't necessary for a kids pony most of the time if he's getting ridden a couple of times a week. Give him a break from it and if you find a nice sensible YO to help you when you decide to pick it up again he'd probably go better being lunged on two lines instead of with a whip.

So frustrating. So many good ponies ruined with idiots like her.

Can you tell us what area you are? Someone might know a decent yard and instructor. If you are near sleaford Lincs I do.

Hi everyone

I've kept her at arms length since the weekend and avoided being in her presence. I'm looking at a yard on Sat and another one on Sunday so fingers crossed on of them is ok.

He's on part livery so I can't stop her having anything to do with him but have bought a field safe head collar so the interactions are reduced slightly.

DD went for a hack on Sunday and he was great. I rode him last night and he was lovely.

I have an instructor in mind who will change over too.

Just feel really sad about the whole thing. He's actually a great pony and I've realised some people are just bitchy!

There are just some people like that in the horse world and it is no reflection whatsoever on you. The best thing is that you are both getting on well with the pony and have a solution to the issue. My mum stopped working at a stable because of the ridiculously bitchy behaviour of someone there, life is too short.

Hope one of the weekend viewings works out to be suitable @Blankscreen

I wouldn't buy a green horse for a nervous novice. It's almost certain to affect her confidence. I don't think that's the yard owner's fault. She may feel you've bought the wrong animal for the rider and they do tend to find that exasperating. However, she also sounds horrible so who knows. If your niece is doing a good job bringing him on, I would wait until he's really settled as you don't really know what you've got yet. If your niece produces ponies, wouldn't she know of a golden oldie somewhere that you could loan for some confidence boosting while your pony is brought on?

I don't know if there is such a thing as old head on young shoulders when it comes to meeting new things. They've still got to be desensitised.

“I don't know if there is such a thing as old head on young shoulders when it comes to meeting new things. They've still got to be desensitised.”

I once bought a 4 year old who had just been broken. The first time I went to get on him the plastic mounting block collapsed with a massive noise. He simply turned his neck to have a good look at me. Plenty of older horses would’ve been in the next county. I still have him and have never known a more bombproof horse.
The OP has already bought this pony and the pony doesn’t seem to be the issue here so I don’t understand why so many posters are piling on with the young pony doom and gloom. What is it achieving?