New pony worries

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I've recently bought my DD a new pony. We got him 4 weeks ago.

We went and viewed and tried him twice and all was ok.

He's 6 in May and definitely seems an old head on young shoulders type. His passport says he a cob (i.e no specified breed) he looks like he has a bit of Connemara in him.

He's come to our yard and he's seems quite flinchy. I realise he needs to get accustomed to things but the yard owner is doing my head in. He was on a much quieter yard before and our yard is vvv busy.

I don't think she has said one nice thing about our pony since he arrived.

He didn't know how to lunge so yo gave him a couple of lessons and he can now lunge but is very nervy round the lunge whip.

In my dd's last lesson with the yard owner the pulled his head down, yard owner flipped the lunge whip and pony shot his head up and whacked dd in the face. She fell off and we are now taking things very slow. I.e. no more lessons.

We've been out hacking and he is really good (with others and in company).

Today dd rode in the school with me helping her. Yo was giving a lesson at the other end.

It was going really well dd did some trotting and was enjoying herself and then the horse in the field next to the school went nuts and started galloping round. Dd said shall we stop now as I've had a good ride and she could feel he'd got tense.

We walked back towards the gate and the pony spooked. Yo had lunge whip and I said I think he scared of that to which she said I have moved it and :he's scared of everything'.

She then said that he freaked out yesterday when being toweled off by my niece who is schooling him twice a week and he is terrified of the head collar going on.
I've spoken to my niece and she said he was as good as gold and just moved a bit when she put the towel on his head (fair enough) but he was otherwise perfect.

I've noticed he seems nervous of the field gate as if that has whacked him.

I am so pissed off. She knows dd has lost her confidence so why couldn't she have made a positive comment about the fact she'd been trotting round rather focusing on the fact he had spooked.

Since he's arrived it's constant moaning from yo.

1. I've been told he's a nightmare in the field - he's not one day he was being playful but he is now at the bottom of the pecking order

1. He's filthy in the stable

1. He keeps breaking out the field. True because the fencing is shit.

I've bought and sorted electric fencing to keep him in. And just constant digs. I feel really down

Am I over thinking this. It feels like the yard owner rather than being supportive just want to turn the knife and be a bitch.
There are either kids and she is v v supportive of them.
Is a bit of a spook normal because in my head I feel like I am overthinking an blowing everything out of proportion. Niece thinks he is lovely and a good 'in and she has produced lots of ponies.

Agree. They sound like they're investing time in the pony and have a great approach.

I agree too. I hope you find somewhere more suitable for your daughter and your pony.

Don't feel sad... you've quickly discovered that the problem is the YO and not your pony - he should give you and your daughter years of fun together.

Good luck with your prospective new yards!

I'm back. We ended up staying put at the yard as we couldn't find anywhere else.
We concentrated mainly in hacking out and trying to get to know him.
But by bit my DD's confidence has taken a knock. She' come off him a couple of times.it feel like an ordeal.

.i ended up crying to the yard owner last week and she said that she thinks he's the wrong pony for DD and we should sell him. We've tried some more lessons literally walking and in the one before last dd got off crying.

I've think we've reached the point where we need to sell him.

I felt terrible about the whole thing and keep wondering if there is anyway I can salvage something but I know I can't. Dd has gone backwards.

He has actually got more settled in the yard and is definitely less flinchy but he only needs to lift his head to look at something and DD freezes.

Sorry to hear. It probably is the right thing to sell him if it's as bad as that. Whatever the rights and wrongs and logic of the situation there's no point being dogmatic about it, the pony may be a total saint but if your DD is genuinely scared of him and it's getting worse not better it won't be helping either of them to persevere endlessly and unless you're able to keep him just as a pet for you forever it would be better to start finding him a new home sooner rather than later.

I would still really consider whether this yard (and this yard owner!) really is right for you and perhaps a total change of scene and some lessons on a school pony somewhere new could be what she needs to start enjoying riding properly again?

I rhink selling is probably the right call if your dd is so nervous, however I wouldn't rush into buying again, it sounds like she'd be better off having lessons on a quiet rs pony for a while, which would take the pressure off getting things right too.

Riding should be enjoyable, not an ordeal.

Find a new yard asap

We are experienced owners - I’ve had horses for 20 years and both DH and I ride to a good level. However….i bought DD a pony when she was 8 and it was a disaster. He completely shattered her confidence and he was a pony in his teens. We tried him twice and we knew the seller. Without going to much into details I had ended up spending £5k on a pony bought for £450 2 months earlier. We still have the pony as I don’t want him passed around and he is very quirky. Hand on heart if you can sell him and get something more suitable. Or if you can afford to get a professional to help but I found with DD once her confidence had been eroded we couldn’t get it back. It’s a horrible situation to be in as you feel like you’ve failed but it happens don’t beat yourself up.
Your YO doesn’t sound great! We’ve had a few of those over the years.