Torn on whether to get pony for DD (yet) - advice please

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I have 2 horses at home, my dressage horse and is friend, who is under 12hh and my DC have been pottering about on him since they were babies. However he is super sharp and spooky and not really an ideal children’s pony.

DD is now 3 and starting to get a bit more interested in ponies, saying she’d like to do that when watching shows, horsey events, jumping, seeing horses in the sea etc. However, I wouldn’t say it’s her main interest (which is Disney Princesses, which means ballgowns are usually the preferred riding attire 😂) . She’s not constantly asking to ride or for a pony.

My question is, is it worth getting her a proper safe child’s pony and would this help her get more into it, if she could do more than just being led around the school? Or am I wasting my time and money at this stage? (I have very little of both going spare with a FT job, under 5s and horses). I would love her to get into riding, if she wants to, we live very rurally so it’s a nice hobby round here, we have them at home with good facilities, and I would be made up if she could maybe come hacking with me and us go to little shows together.

Does anyone with horsey DC or relevant experience have any advice?

To add

I’ve been looking around all summer and not yet quite 100% decided on the right path. If I’m going to do it I want to crack on so she gets some riding before the weather turns. She’s at preschool now too so would only really be at weekends and maybe an odd Friday evening.

I'd leave it until next year when she's a bit older and will be able to do a bit more

I'd maybe have some lessons over winter with the thought of getting a pony after Christmas and the nights getting a bit lighter. We're rural and horsey too, so here are my thoughts on what you could do with a pony

Check out your local pony club for their activities for this age group - mine runs brilliant rallies for those under 8 at weekends - and some of the children that go to these are 3, and they can do the day camp in summer as well at that age.

At pony club they could do lead rein mounted games, which is huge fun, and great for developing confidence in the saddle and meeting people. The club should run practice sessions for mounted games probably starting after Christmas. Also she could do the pony club triathlons over winter/spring (join as a non riding member and upgrade when you have a pony to use) if you were interested. Again, this is great for competitive/sporty children.

The local small children here all do fancy dress competitions at Christmas/Easter and the summer shows - lots of fun without any great riding ability required. There are also crosspole lead rein showjumping classes at most venues to get them into the swing of showjumping.

If you've an outdoor school, some of the local mums have formed a group where those who can take it turns to host an informal riding session for their children.

Basically, those that get most out of having a pony make sure their child has friends who ride and some fun and rosettes along the way. Good luck in whatever you choose to do!

Is there a notable difference in how much they can do at 4 @WorriedRelative ?

Thank you @OhMrDarcy this is really helpful. Agree it’s a bit of a lonely activity for her at the moment so a safe pony would make pony club and socialising help!

I’ve got a 4 year old who would love a pony and rides another every week but I don’t have any other horses at home atm. I’m trying to wait another couple of years as the winters are long and hard and I think she will do better when she’s a little older. It’s hard though when they keep asking and loads of their friends have one! I was a bit older as was her dad when we got our first ponies

Do you have your own land? Get a couple of shetlands (two, because they'll probably need separate, restricted grazing, although your current small pony who's not in work might already be restricted?) Contrary to popular belief, they're not all "shitlands"! My kids have an absolute saint of a Shetland, they could do the saddle themselves, and lead her safely etc by the time they were about 4.

If she does get into riding, then she might be ready for your sharper one (who might have chilled out a bit anyway by then) by the time she outgrows the Shetland at 7/8ish (if it's a full up 10.2 then it would last her til she's older than that!) If not, she's still got a friend for life (mine all still dote on their now very elderly Shetland).

@Autumn1990 I mean it’s not like she has nothing to ride at all, she’s still riding every weekend, I just don’t feel comfortable doing much with him beyond little trots and walks around the school. I’ve started trying to do some little games with her (that won’t excite him) like steering to the letters and thinking of a word that behinds with the letter before she gets there etc.

My instructor suggested giving him a unit of sedalin and cracking on…I’m not sure if she was joking 😂

She's still really little - it would be cheaper to get her a few lessons at a riding school over the winter and assess again next year. If she's only going to be riding once or twice a week it seems a bit of a waste to get one now. If your current pony will let her groom etc then that would be a good way to get her involved without the expense of buying, feeding and looking after another pony especially coming into winter in a few weeks, how much riding will she realistically want to do?

Can you get an older competent/confident sharer for your current pony? Even better if they pay for some lessons on him! I'm not sure what the insurance situation is these days with these sorts of arrangements, though.

@CabbagesAndCeilingWax I’m not sure I’d want to put someone else’s child on him 😂 the more competent the rider the more he ups his game, from what his previous owner said. This is why he has a career as a (very fancy) companion 😂

@Meeplebeen I’ve not seen any riding schools doing lessons for under age 4 TBH

A friend has just got a pony for her 6yo. It took 18 months the to find the right one that wasn't either a little git, ££££ or broken. The good ones usually get passed on by word of mouth. The one she has is LR only so she'll need to search again when he is ready to come off the lead.

See if anyone in the pony club has an outgrown pony they would let you have a sharer arrangement for your DD. You could take her a couple of times a week to see if it's something she really wants to do. Owner might even let you take pony out to pony club events.
Pony club can be a good network for shares & loans & sales of kids ponies.

I just saw your post that she is riding him in the school at walk and trot. What you're doing sounds pretty age appropriate and fun. Added to that she's not actually that interested from what you said in your op - trying to force an interest too early might just put her off. In a year you'll have a better idea of whether she actually wants a pony of her own.

Im also not sure what else you want her to be doing at age 3 - she's too young to hack off the lead rain, surely? What you're doing in the school sounds great and will give her a good understanding of basic riding.

Maybe if you've got bags of money and cost isn't an issue but i just think she's not going to see the benefit of her own pony at this age when she's already got one to ride albeit not perfect, she is too small to ride unsupervised anyway AND she's not that interested i think you'd be wasting your money.

The right pony came along locally and DD got hers just before 3, it wasn't her main interest either but she is a good rider, loves her ponies and being around them and is well off lead reign jumping xc at 9, we don't tend to ride in the week much. On our 6th consecutive PC camp and going into juniors next year. It does take up a lot of your time and riding space though. I would see if you can find the right pony that is the main thing, lots of unsound, unsuitable ones around and the good ones are hard to find. Many will recommend not just yet but the way things have worked out for us I don't think DD would be as independent and effective a rider if she hadn't had one that long. You do really more need to ask yourself if you can find a suitable one and are you able to commit to the PC routine and fitting in her riding time. So not so much would she benefit, because obvs she would sorry to say, but more is it feasible and do you want to start camp/ rallies getting the right body protector and tack etc etc. I wouldn't change anything but truthfully my riding takes a back seat now quite often, although I do still ride and have my own and a youngester coming through. Once they have one they usually want to carry on for some time although there are exceptions. We have had our elderly first pony PTS and needed to find another quickly, can't imagine summer without camp - I teach so thankfully don't need annual leave for that. I would say in short ask yourself not if she wants it enough but whether you do X

Please don't do the sedolin thing they are much more likely to trip etc

I’d stick with things as they are for the time being . Our eldest rode from being able to sit up mainly because we already owned a small Shetland so it was convenient . Small Shetland unfortunately died when son was 5 and he went to riding school for a bit but then my late mother bought him a Dartmoor x when he was 6 . Son fell off aforementioned pony quite badly when he was 8 and never went near her again aside from to hand out carrots . They are now both 31 , only one of them is working and productive the other one is happily retired on full livery . My daughter rode at riding school aged 4&5 and then had one fall jumping and gave up . I know lots of horsey people with disinterested children aside from myself .

I just asked her if she’d like another pony, she said a little bit. I asked if she’d prefer a pony or a rabbit, she said a rabbit 😂 FFS

I’ll maybe keep an eye out for a loan at this stage as it’s then pretty low risk. And maybe look at having regular lessons over winter. And if she shows an increased interest - even in the wet and cold - I’ll revisit the buying if no loan has come up in the spring

The instructor probably wasn’t joking but as it’s coming up to winter the enthusiasm might wane until spring.
It is difficult though.

In your shoes I would crack on with the pony you have. First ridden ponies need to be saints but lead rein ponies are generally a bit sharper. For lead rein you want a pony that doesn’t need kicking to get it going. Unless the pony is unsafe (bucking, leaping at every shadow etc) you just need to do more.
Find out when your local pony club takes them, ours is from age 4 but some take younger. When you are able, take her along with or without pony. As others have said lots of the activities for younger ones are dismounted. This way you will get to know the local people and their ponies so when a saint of a pony comes up you will have a chance of buying/loaning it.
Alongside this see if you can fit in more rides. Little and often is best at this stage. Make it fun, sing songs, do games, exercises like round the world. Set up some games equipment using things you have e.g. she picks a grooming brush off a bucket and carries it to another where she tries to drop it in. Don’t forget ‘jumps’ aka poles on the ground to walk/trot over. She can help you set up a course and even do a course walk. Also see if she can hack on the lead. Either from home or box somewhere, even round your field at home. Talk about what you see around you as you walk together. I used to ride mine and lead my dc on our lead rein. He was very sharp but he would stick his nose by my knee and plod happily along at my horse’s pace all day long.
At this age it is all about making it a fun part of her daily routine.

At 3 I honestly wouldn't bother. You've got something she can ride - at her age she wouldn't be off LR anyway. They can also change their minds (cif Rabbit!) quicker than the wind so would wait until she's really begging for her own.
My daughter always had something at home to ride as well as learning at local riding school but only got her own at 7 when she was able to actually look after a pony including mucking out She's now an adult with her own DS but still has her and his horses here!

I'd say just leave her on current pony on lead rein for now, especially going into winter. Review the idea in spring depending on how the interest is going

@Miniman we have tried going for a hack…he bucked her off 🙈. We also tried to have a few lessons and when the instructor stands next to them to get them to do things he reverses down the arena at 100mph so you can’t hold on to the child.

So although I agree that keeping with what we have for now, going into winter, is probably the right move, I’m not sure he will ever be a great child’s pony! I love him and he will have a home for life, but he’s a little devil 😈

The leader needs to be in control of the pony so he can’t reverse. No one should ever be holding a rider, they need to learn to balance themselves.
if he bucked when hacking don’t hack unless you can get a lightweight teen or adult to do some hack training first.
As I said above if you can get yourself to pony club you will meet/get to know all kinds of useful people. There are some lovely horse mad teens out there who love a challenge.