14.2hh plod for perimenopausal women!

[Nevergoodenoughforthem]

I’d love to hear some success stories from people who have taken up pony ownership in their 50’s!

I haven’t ridden properly for years - on and off over the years up until Covid but nothing seriously since as perimenopause nerves (plus a pesky thyroid disease) means my nerves have got the better of me. But my goddess I miss it.

My young DD has a lovely 13.2hh 21 year old Connie and he’s bought her confidence on no end. After some false starts finding her the right match, I’ve thrown everything at making their partnership work. She has lessons 3-4 times a week, does PC and we get out and about as much as possible. But I’ve had enough of standing on the ground.

Has anyone been through this and managed to find themselves with the right pony? I only want to plod and maybe the odd dressage test. When DD is able, she could share too when we retire her 13.22hh. I’d love to hear any success stories. In my mind, if I don’t do this now, it’s just going to get harder.

I could have lessons but our local stables aren’t suited to me. I like to build up a relationship and get to know the pony. I don’t like just turning up and having a ready tacked up pony presented to me but that now seems to be the only option.

You say you’re nervous and don’t want to ride at a riding school but if you’re that nervous how are you realistically going to trial anything.
I used to do a bit of buying and selling and I’ve told people to get off before who are clearly terrified. It slowly erodes horses confidence and they can slowly become quite nervy themselves, and I wouldn’t sell to a nervous wreck as I’ve seen so many time it’s causes this vicious spiral of horse gets slightly worried, so nervous rider does less and less until they are just trotting at one end of the school and the horses behaviour has deteriorated because it’s bored and frustrated.

I think you’d be better with a bit of riding fitness (it might help the nerves too) and maybe star with looking for a very quiet share. It’s a really hard ask for a horse to only ever be ridden by a nervous rider.

Have a look at my thread on Highland Ponies. This is just what you need!

I’d bring my instructor with me when trialing anything but would always expect the owner to ride first. We’ve viewed many that we didn’t ride as I could tell that the owner hadn’t been honest or that that pony wasn’t the right fit.

I’d love a highland X @Blackcats7 I’ll go take a look, thank you.

We sold my daughter's first pony - a 14.2 lovely cob to a child for some low level all-around work. Sounds like she would have been perfect for what you're looking for. BUT I don't think it's a good idea to own your own if you're too nervous for a riding school pony and won't be having regular lessons. I wouldn't sell to someone too nervous to trial.

@Nevergoodenoughforthem I wrote a wanted advert on horsequest titled Weight carrying saint for lifetime hacking home and my lovely boy was actually the very first reply. I had another pony lined up to see after him but cancelled as he was just perfect.
The highland pony community is fairly small and it is not difficult to find out a pony's history so that might help you too.

Not sure why people think I’d not lessons. I’ve said it not keen on riding random riding school horses any more as they are led out tacked up and you simply get on for an hour before someone leads it away again. I said I need to be able to build a partnership with the horse.

I’m looking for success stories from people who have been in a similar situation. @Blackcats7 do you have a link to your thread?

Well I can think of 3 people off the top of my head that this situation ended in disaster for so maybe there's a lack of happy ending stories to share?

There's a reason why people go to riding schools and that's to get to a certain level so they are ready to start riding a none riding school horse they purchase and then have a bond with. They are fit to ride because they have been riding have already learnt to balance and carry themselves etc.

I have been riding the same horse at riding school for last couple of years- we do all sorts of things- jumping, dressage, hacking, cross country and drill work, and I untack at end of night. You can have a really positive experience at a riding school.

I got my first horse when I was 48; a 25 year old ex trotting champion TB! Not surprisingly he quickly became a companion to a rather more suitable 10 yr old section D who looked after me so well, never put a hoof wrong under saddle but enjoyed taking people grass skiing if they didn’t pay attention leading him. Now one of my five, all retired.

I don’t get why as rusty and nervous you wouldn’t go and have a handful of lessons, you’ll have to ride horses you don’t have a partnership with to trial them? Not least that a bit of riding fitness will really help with your nerves.
I think people aren’t saying what you want to hear as (myself included) have seen time and time again that this scenario often ends in a terrified rider and frustrated horses

I think people are misunderstanding the OP,

Yes, she's nervous but that's not the reason she doesn't want to have lessons - she's saying she doesn't like the style of the local riding school because they just bring out a random tacked up pony, you ride for an hour and then that's it. She wants a horse she can build a relationship with and can work with in a partnership, hence looking for her own.

I appreciate that but she also says she hasn’t ridden at all for some time, a refresher before trying strange horses is just common sense, especially for a rider who by her own admission is incredibly nervous

She doesn't say that - she says she rode on and off until Covid and has ridden since, but not seriously due to health issues and nerves.

I don't disagree that lessons are a good idea but I also think there's no point going to lessons that you won't enjoy or get anything out of.

At my place you have to come half an hour early to prepare your horse, for my ability and height there's only really about 10 horses I can ride and I do now know them all and think they mostly know me.

Is there any reason you couldn't just ask the school if you could come early and get your horse ready, surely you'd be saving them some work?

Thank you @fieldsofbutterflies . Why on earth posters are making things up I don’t know. I’ve never seen people jump to conclusions like this before. So odd.

@NormalAuntFanny Great that your yard allows that. As I’ve stated in my OP, the stables near me don’t.

@Nevergoodenoughforthem no problem! It's so frustrating when people don't read things properly and leap to weird conclusions.

A rock solid 14 hander plod is like gold dust and if its on the open market, will cost a fortune. Every rusty middle aged woman is looking for it!! I bought one about 8 years ago. Took a long time to build up a partnership but she turned out to be my horse of a lifetime. There are plenty of success stories out there but these types are often made rather than bought. That said, I bought a 2 year old once and he was the steadies, safest horse right from the get go. Never, ever bucked or got giddy or looked at anything. There's a lot of luck needed in buying horses and having a good support system around you is critical too. I have a youngster that's a bit spicy. I have help with her. Someone gets on her first for me and then I get on after the tickle has gone from her toes! Make sure you have good, competent people to lean on.

@FgsMary I agree, many Highlands are sold as yearlings etc, ones that are ready to ride away are quite rare. I am currently lightly backing a 4 year old I bought as a yearling in the hope of creating one of these to see me through in the future and possibly for my daughter to take to pony club in the far future. The steadyness of a horse is a two element thing born of the confidence they have in their rider although some are clearly more generous. It is too much to put on the pony for it to make the riding relationship work on their own.

Thank you @FgsMary that’s exactly the experience I was asking for. I have a good budget - this is once in a life time like you say. Where did you find yours? What have you done with her?

I agree about the luck element. We’ve had so many false starts with my daughter’s ponies. The one before now was brilliant, sailed through 5 stage vetting only to find out three months down the line that he has severe SI in his pelvis. He’ll never be ridden again so he’s retired and acting like a 3 year old. We’ve viewed so many that we’re not what people said. People hiding bolting history (child’s pony), completely green ponies, ponies with no ground manners etc etc.

We have an experienced yard and lots of professional help when needed. I did DIY with my ponies when I was a teen and had no support. I’d never go through that again!

Yep totally agree @CountryCob some are more generous as is the case with the Connie we have now. Really looks after my DD and has been an absolute saint with her.

I would say that there are many saints to be found in a riding school to have multiple riders on them, many of whom will be nervous.

Do you have a good success story to share?

Hi OP. I totally get the not wanting to just get on an already tacked up pony for an hour. Have you considered or looked into a share pony with a riding school however?
This is how I started my journey into horse ownership and it built my confidence so much whilst letting me build a relationship with the equine. I was able to continue having lessons on said horse too.

Thank you @Dreamsofcruise can you tell me more about the share you had?

There is one stables which offers a loaning arrangement however they are 40 mins away so just not practical. Also, the instructors can be a little harsh. I got told off for wearing my Toggi riding boots (apparently too much like a country boot) and for clicking when asking for a transition. I’d always been taught to do this if a squeeze and a whisper didn’t work. And old habits die hard but my instructor was so critical of me (not my riding) that I ended up hating the lesson.

Stables closer to me just aren’t my style. They are for riders who want to jump on and gallop. We all know there are stables suited better suited to some people than others.

I had a share horse for 1 full day and two half days a week. I was responsible for stable chores on the full day and tacked up groomed etc as I wished. I continued having lesson and joined in with the ‘riding club’ activities on site which I really enjoyed. After a while as my riding improved I progressed onto a more advanced share horse.
After that I bought a horse who was advertised as a novice ride but sadly turned out to be anything but. That completely destroyed my confidence and I never really fully came back from it. He died sadly after 3 years and I bought another horse, this time from a riding school. She is great in the school but is completely mental in open spaces so that killed my confidence in another way 🤣. I now only do non ridden work with her. To be honest my happiest time was being a sharer but I can’t go back to that as like you the ethos of horse care and instruction isn’t for me.

Ah @Dreamsofcruise that’s awful! I don’t know how these people sleep. We also had an ex riding school pony for DD. Lovely stables - she had two days riding with the pony. All seemed great. Get her home and into group lessons starting slowing and she absolutely turned into a demon. Riding school had lied to me. They’d not had her for three years, only 12 and she’d arrived with in foal so really how much had she done with them. She was amazing hack but hated schooling so we found her a lovely hacking home where she’s been a star but she wasn’t for a child who is still need of regular lessons. I’ve learnt a lot and become sceptical of everyone now. It’s sad but I live in hope that these ponies are out there.

I don’t think riding schools like the one I rode at exist anymore sadly. Many don’t offer hacking lessons, many are too gung-ho for me. If I had a school like my old one, I’d happily share.