14.2hh plod for perimenopausal women!

[Nevergoodenoughforthem]

I’d love to hear some success stories from people who have taken up pony ownership in their 50’s!

I haven’t ridden properly for years - on and off over the years up until Covid but nothing seriously since as perimenopause nerves (plus a pesky thyroid disease) means my nerves have got the better of me. But my goddess I miss it.

My young DD has a lovely 13.2hh 21 year old Connie and he’s bought her confidence on no end. After some false starts finding her the right match, I’ve thrown everything at making their partnership work. She has lessons 3-4 times a week, does PC and we get out and about as much as possible. But I’ve had enough of standing on the ground.

Has anyone been through this and managed to find themselves with the right pony? I only want to plod and maybe the odd dressage test. When DD is able, she could share too when we retire her 13.22hh. I’d love to hear any success stories. In my mind, if I don’t do this now, it’s just going to get harder.

I could have lessons but our local stables aren’t suited to me. I like to build up a relationship and get to know the pony. I don’t like just turning up and having a ready tacked up pony presented to me but that now seems to be the only option.

I've never bought a backed horse. Too many risks for me, both health wise and temprement/behaviour. I buy 2 year olds on temperament, spend a year getting to know them, start the backing process and then sell on anything that I don't gel with. This is obviously not the route you're looking for. It's a minefield out there but keep looking and get good recommendations for dealers. Adam Ferris has a coloured cob at the mo that'd suit you. His tend to be pretty raw but if you have good help, then you should be OK.

@Nevergoodenoughforthem Whereabouts are you based? Sue Helen Shuttleworth in Lancashire will find you what you want but you'd have to wait and you'll pay top end for it. She creams off the very best for top level showing but she'll see all the nicest cobs in the UK and the ones that are too steady/not pretty enough!

Thank you. 3 hours from there but happy to travel so that’s not an issue. Will take a look, thank you.

Op I am in my forties and have just bought a older tb. We have horses but I'd not ridden properly in years as our horses generally were too big and sharp so my DH rides them. My DDs pony is too small for me.
I, get it, I'm nervous. I'd have to be really pushed to canter in lessons on our horses. So I stopped riding, I became groom and mucked out etc.
I knew with the right horse I'd be fine. I was an experienced rider before I had my DD but really needed something smaller.
By pure fluke I saw an ad on right horse right home for a 15.2 tb. He was older and an ex eventer. I called on the Saturday, viewed the next day and he came home on the Tuesday. I rode like I'd not ridden in years when I tried him. And we've not looked back - he is the best thing to happen to me in years. Even if he has to retire after a year he has given me my love of riding back.
Telling you this as these horses can be found but, I really trusted my gut. I had an experienced eye with my DH on the ground as well which it sounds like you do with an instructor.
It can take years to find one and you may need to be flexible with age, budget or type (or all 3). Good luck Op!

Thank you @Joey1976 that’s so lovely to hear! It’s a great feeling isn’t it. It’s like recapturing your youth again. How old is he?

I don’t know nearly enough about horses to not get another eye to look. We’re looking with DD’s as so many people knee him and could vouch for him. Don’t get me wrong, he can go up a gear and gets on his toes, he can throw the odd buck and she’s fallen off but she’s but so much work into building a relationship with him that she laughs and gets back on. That wouldn’t have happened 6 months ago. Finding him has been the making of her and so I’m hopeful that the right pony could work for me too.

Out of interest, in terms of budget, what are these older, hens teeth if ponies selling for at the moment in your location?

I stated riding again after the first lockdown having had 22 years out of the saddle. I was 55. Within 3 months I had bought my own pony , fulfilling my childhood dream.
I was very confident (foolishly so really) but confidence carries you some way; I also knew I needed lessons so I had these and joined a very supportive yard on or livery. I have had lots of help. I now have two ponies, both 14.2z a warmblood mare and a young Connie.
It's been up and down with some difficult times, but I adore both my horses, ride and spend time with them as much as I can (I also work FT) and it has been an utter joy.

Pre-covid, they were about £4-5k. They're now about double that.

I saw one advertised recently for 12k (admittedly a bit of quality about it) with no tack sell to the first viewer

About £10-12k probably, depending on age, prettiness/colouring and whether or not tack included. It feels an outrage to be paying that sort of sum for a very average (or very below average really!) horse in terms of breeding, confirmation, competition potential etc but the market wants safety right now, so that's what a properly safe, quiet, been there done that type that's sound and healthy in all ways will set you back... If you compromise on age (late teens plus ) or health issues or smaller or slightly less proven (e.g. safe hack but has had next to no schooling) you might get cheaper.

In answer to your general question, of course it can work out, the most important factor is how much you really want it. Logically speaking there always are far more reasons not to buy a horse than to buy one yet unaccountably we keep doing it 😂. The sane and sensible answer is to share rather than buy, still plenty of time to bond with a shared horse but so, so much lower risk. With the right arrangement (and good trust between you and owner) you should be able to do everything with a shared horse you'd do with your own. I've had some brilliant shares (and sharers) over the years, some less good but the beauty is you can walk away if anything goes wrong or its not working for you, which is a much bigger problem with your own horse. But if your heart wants to own and you're prepared to spend the money (on the horse itself and on lots of help) then go for it...

Thanks @maxelly my thoughts were £10-15k which is absolutely ridiculous. DD’s pony was practically free (just paid for tack) and he failed the vetting due to health issues. However, six months in and he’s in great condition and found a new lease of life. We’ll be his last home and knew that when we bought him.

The issue with share is lack of options. There just aren’t any. I follow local sharing pages and there only ever seem to be share options for horses I would never ride. How do people find suitable sharers?

Have you tried looking for a share? The biggest risk with buying something is that they can be very different with a yard move, and can take some very confident handling while they settle (and some never really settle). It's much more straightforward to ride something that's already settled in a routine, and knows all the local riding. Plus, of course, it's much lower risk financially.

With regards to finding a share, farriers and vets know everyone who's half thinking about it (and they know the overweight horses who could really do with more exercise!)

With sharing it might be worth putting your own advert up? You’d be surprised how many responses you get, including about 50% who haven’t read it properly and are thinking you are advertising a share, or ask if you want to buy their trailer/foal/Jack Russel, but if you can be bothered to sift through the idiots it might be worthwhile.

Ditto talking to your farrier and vet! My friend found a yard that way - woman ran a small livery and had sold up a couple of hers and was umming and erring on getting a couple of new liveries as she was thinking about starting to organically wind it down but the farrier thought they’d be a good match for each other and she’s been there 6 years now!

Hiya. I had a Welsh section D as a teenager that I shared with my nervous Mum. Field kept fab all rounder. Had him for 20 years and did all sorts.

Mum would have been 47 and I was 15. She never did any jumping but loved local dressage competitions and long hacks.

I had so much fun doing XC & SJ.

Good luck

I got lucky with this little beast. First I viewed after throwing my ex out I am his 3rd home he was 13 now 16 done everything seen everything. I have a young sharer as life has been a bit too hectic for a year but he’s a great sort. I haven’t ridden a lot this last year but went on a fun ride two weeks ago he was great I paid £6.5 Gloucestershire

Find someone who imports (or can help you import) an ISH. I'm (a lot) older than you OP and bought a 17h 4yo ISH to amble around the lanes with me and do more with my DCs. She's fabulous (stands like a rock while I get on, is completely unphased by traffic and is polite in open spaces). As a bonus, she was considerably cheaper than she would have been if she were a 16h 7yo.

I do think that horses are expensive but also very expensive to produce. You need to feed and mind the mare, maybe pay Ai and possibly loose both mare and foal if things go wrong. Or you buy a yearling but a reasonably competently breed one would be about £1,300, hopefully gelded if a boy. After a few years of winter feeding, getting used to farrier and handling, hay, water and minding and vaccinations and teeth check you get to work out some tack and start that horse - brave pants on. Also need to load on trailer etc, first road work session, getting used to the school. Obviously in that time you might need the vet. How is that a few thousand pounds worth of work?