Do people on your yard ride together?

[MostlyGhostly]

Just before lockdown I got back into horses/ riding again. Had a few lessons and a 8yo horse on loan who’s owner had him on full loan and never rode. This was a very small yard and the Yard Owner only rode out with friends and did not want me to come along as my loan was unfit/ nappy due to being out of work.

Then a friend from work offered to loan me her horse on another tiny yard as she had just had twins. Her horse was a fabulous happy hacker and has no vices at all other than he hates the school and won’t hack alone. She eventually decided to sell him and offered me a really good price as she could still come to visit and knew I would look after him. At precisely that time, just as I was getting confident and a much better rider, and my horse fitter, one person on the yard had a fall and lost her nerve and the other two left. These two were replaced by children with ponies who ride them round the school while their mothers video them for social media and only hack out occasionally and for a short period of time and the horse of the person who fell was left in the field.

So at the end of last year I moved to my current yard, which is much, much bigger and I was told lots of people hack out all the time and I can get support from the YO who is also a trainer, to get my horse hacking alone. Not as much turnout here as my old yard but seemed perfect in other ways. In the first three months it was great, when the weather was decent enough there were people riding out, one in particular I got on with. But then in March, she left for a yard with more turnout and the other people I rode with stopped riding as the sales liveries they used were sold and the ones they owned are still too young to ride. The rest of the people on the yard either have shetlands as pets that they are way too big to ride, are children on lead rein, or have foals that the YO will break in when they are old enough ( none older than two years old). There is one exception of a really lovely teen who comes and rides one of the smaller ponies for its owner. I am now relying on a 15 year old to ride with and last night missed a date night with DH so I could get out and ride with her .

I hate being so reliant on anyone, let alone a teen who will no doubt much rather be with kids her own age. I have put sooo much time in with my horse doing ground work and training but it’s one step forward, three steps back. I can get him out for a short period of time alone but he is soo nappy, for example it took me an hour to get about a quarter of a mile up the road last week and that was my most successful lone outing in all the time I have had him. In contrast, he is a dream out and about when there is at least one other horse around.

I am feeling extremely despondent and frustrated today. The YO has no time to help me and I feel that the yard isn’t what I was told it was in that hardly anyone rides out at all but the people who are there are lovely and the horses are well cared for, which means a lot.

My horse is 16 and I am 55. It is summer soon and I want us to be having fun together while we are still fit and able to. I am not sure whether to look at other yards or just give up and resign myself to groundwork and long reining forever.

If I do look yet again, is it likely to be the same? Are there any yards where lots of people hack out regularly and do fun things like days out for beach and forest rides? This is what I want but how do I know that they really do this stuff rather then telling me what I want to hear? I did check the social media of my current yard and there are pics on there of farm rides but I found out that they were from years ago.

sorry for the long post but it feels good to get it out. I am in Cheshire and currently play £360 per month for half livery if this is relevant but I am wondering what other people’s experiences are generally from all types and sizes of yard nationwide and if my experience is typical?

I’m a non riding owner and the main thing that struck me was that your yard doesn’t have great turnout and for that reason alone I would be moving as turnout is the most importantly thing , particularly in the winter . Could your husband not walk out or ride a bike whilst you ride - best of both worlds hopefully it will help your horse , you get to ride and you both spend more time together .

I'd look at other yards tbh. I mostly ride a friends horse in the school as I'm not very experienced yet but if I do ride with someone it's usually a 10 year old girl I've struck up a friendship with as she loans a school pony.

Absolutely this. Good turnout comes above my enjoyment every single time.

I think yards vary, my yard is very much people keep themselves to themselves (it’s full livery only which I think fosters that as people don’t spend the whole day there day in day out.) The yard next door is more social but having been on more “social” yards I find they end up being very clique-y.

The most social yard I’ve been on was DIY only, and everyone was always out hacking after work, boxing up at weekends, etc. But it was very clique-y

@Floralnomad I’ve tried with DH coming along but it makes no difference, it’s other horses he wants, same when I try walking him out in hand.

I guess as @Lastqueenofscotland2 said, a risk would be going somewhere where people ride but don’t want me to come cause I’m not in their clique.

I guess another option would be to bankrupt myself and get transport to ride with friends about an hours drive away occasionally.

I guess my childhood experiences of loan ponies were at riding schools, I didn’t realise that so many rideable age, healthy horses were kept as pets, it has been a big surprise!

Oh it’s amazing how many people don’t ride! Prior to where I am now I was on a yard of 30. I’d say about 10 horses were in any sort of regular ridden work. Two of which were mine.
None of the other horses were old or injured. Just kept as big pets.
I think it’s common and I think a lot of people buy, overhorse themselves, can’t/don’t want to sell and get stuck with a big pet, or have lost their confidence riding but like being around horses so get into inhand showing (this was definitely the case at my yard!)

Our pet isn’t that big she is a 30+ yr old retired dartmoor x . I have had big ornaments in the past but they have sadly passed on .

Some people on our yard ride out together, often it's the non-working people who hack during the day in the week, but sometimes at the weekend too. We've been there about 18 months and very rarely does DD have to go alone. In fact recently two randoms have asked if she wanted to hack (by random I mean we know them by name and sight but they're not friends as such) and I've encouraged her to go because I think you never know what might turn into a really good companion.

I have to say though....see if there is any way you can get some transport, it made such a difference to us, almost instantly. We no longer felt stuck and stranded, and then you can trailer to friends, as you say, or to facilities like farm rides and also we love to hack in Tatton Park.

Roughly where in Cheshire are you? There is a Cheshire Horse group on FB where you might find hacking companions and I think there is a Cheshire bridleways group as well.

Also have a think about getting a behaviourist out to help with the reluctance to hack alone. If you can fix this problem then you can just ride out alone whenever you want, and it's probably cheaper than investing in transport!

We have worked through some napping with DD's pony and they are now confidently hacking alone or in company, leading or behind. That is a different picture from a few months ago.

My teenage daughter is the only youngster at our yard, she struggles to find people to ride with I think because adults don’t want to be responsible for her (nor should they)
she often puts on the FB group is anyone riding on such and such day and will usually find one other who doesn’t mind her tagging along. Otherwise she has a friend at a neighbouring yard she sometimes meets.
Luckily our pony is great to hack alone and my daughter enjoys doing this.
Do you have any local horsey FB groups you could post on? We have one for our village (many yards and 100+ horses in the village, we’re lucky in that respect) and I often see people posting on there asking for company to ride with.
If you’re not happy and the lack of turn out maybe you should consider moving.
good luck!

Why not post on your local equestrian groups to see if anyone wants to hack out with you then box up and go to their yard or local hacking routes. Or alternatively I would look at joining local fun rides where there will be other horses out and about.
Plenty of fun to be had still without moving yards or relying on a a teenager.

It doesn’t sound like you were lied to or misled op, just that multiple yard user’s circumstances changed massively, which can happen and is unavoidable. I know you’ve not even mentioned this so it might be a very unwelcome suggestion, but honestly it sounds like your whole experience is being marred by your actual horse. He didn’t hack for his last owner, and now obviously won’t hack for you, has become a big enough issue that you’re now looking to move him for a 3rd time in the desperate hope that there is someone there who can help you. As you’ve already found out, you cannot count on the other people at the livery’s to attempt to help your horse. Wouldnt you consider selling him and getting something you can enjoy?

I think not hacking alone is an issue that can be dealt with in most horses . My first thoroughbred was terrible when she came to us and it took months of work on an almost daily basis to solve the problem but in the end she was perfect .

I don’t disagree with you, but if I’m understanding the ops timeline correctly it’s been since before lockdown so 4 or more years, and obviously far longer than that with the previous owner/owners. I don’t think a 3rd livery with no guarantee of people who may or may not want to hack with the op is the answer. It did sound like this was an ok livery until other peoples circumstances changed. I’m just saying what my thought process would be

He was sold as a happy hacker and his ‘most successful hack in the entire time she owned him’ was when it took her an hour to get him a quarter of a mile down the road.

@Fiddlerdragon and your point is ? All I’m saying is that curing this issue is not something that happens overnight , it takes commitment and work . For the first month of owning our mare we were lucky if we could get her 100 yards but eventually something switched and we turned it round . We don’t sell any of ours but how many people will be wanting to buy a 16 yr old horse that doesn’t like the school and doesn’t hack alone - I cannot imagine that the OP would be inundated with takers .

My point is that the op sounds unhappy, and her happiness on owning and riding her horse is depending on whether strangers at the yard will assist her. Right now her entire support system is a random child she’s having to rely on. Your one, personal experience is completely irrelevant to anyone else’s situation. Of course issues can be worked on and of course it takes dedication, spouting inspirational quotes at the op who has thus far gotten nowhere in around half a decade of ownership is not really helpful. The op is yard hopping looking for a reliable support system to magic itself into existence. At this point the horse needs a professional trainer, not a beginner that’s ’just gaining confidence’.

I don’t think I’ve spouted anything inspirational actually , I’ve just said that months of work daily sorted it out for us . The OP has choices - try to consistently do the work herself with the help of her husband / a willing accomplice , keep hoping she will find someone to ride with , pay for a trainer / behaviourist to do the afore mentioned work or sell him .

@Floralnomad do you mind me asking what you did to retrain the horse to hack alone. Was it simply a case of getting them out everyday as far as they would go and then turning back?

@AmyFFowler me riding , my mum and sister walking , sometimes backwards a few feet if necessary just getting a few metres further every day and lots of carrots for treats . I think continuity was the answer for us , I realise it won’t work for everyone but she was a big horse and eventually we just came to an arrangement . She wasn’t the easiest horse to deal with and my mum and sister ended up petrified of her even though they managed our others perfectly well . For me she was the horse of my lifetime.

Don't assume the teen would rather not be riding with you. When I was a teen I much preferred hacking out with adult friends , as even my sensible my teen friends would have stupid moments and do stupid things...and I wasn't really brave enough to want to join in !!

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. @Fiddlerdragon my most successful lone hack was the recent quarter of a mile down the road thing, I’ve had many lovely hacks with other horses. This why I don’t want to sell him as, as well as being very attached to him, he is great in most other ways and I’m not bothered about riding in the school. My current livery is good but the circumstances around riding out did change, as they have done previously at other places, and I am currently relying on the teen unfortunately. I guess this is the way things are, based on people’s responses.

@Deliaskis I’m in east Cheshire and I know there are fun rides and Wilmslow riding club that I’ve had my eye on for a while and now feel confident enough to take part in. I’ve come to the conclusion that I will have to bite the bullet, change my car and get a trailer so I can have the fun outings I really want and go and meet friends. I know a few people in Northwich who go to Delamere and someone in Alsager.

In the meanwhile I’ll keep with the groundwork. @Floralnomad and others, do you have any trainers on socials you could recommend? I’ve looked at Steve Young, Amelia Newcomb and Parelli and dipped in and out of random training videos but just as I think I’m turning a corner, its back to planting before we’ve even got to the end of the driveway.

I wish I was near to you ! My first yard we all hacked alot but the owners took their eye off the ball and everyone left second yard 3 fantastic hackers but the owner took her eye off the ball now I am at a small but great yard now but no one to hack with sadly so do I buy a box ? I need some friends 😂😂😢

Haha @Parsley1234 I hope you find someone! It’s not just me that this happens too then. Its annoying cause I have a big family, wide friendship group, just every adult I know with a horse or remotely interested lives miles away or never rides 😩

@MostlyGhostly no definitely not ! I just think it’s the luck and yards change then change again we have two spaces on our yard which I’m hopeful someone will turn up it’s pretty disappointing to be honest there’s a lady on our yard same age etc but she’s not interested in being my mate 😂🤦‍♀️😂
mum 57 horse is 16 too x

@MostlyGhostly sorry I can’t recommend any online people as although I’ve been an owner continuously since 1980 I don’t actually ride at all anymore due to ill health . Hope it works out for you