Stay at riding school or loan pony?

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi everyone,

I need a bit of advice please. Firstly I'm not a horsey mum, we're new to this. My 9 new old daughter started lessons at a local riding school and has been going consistently for over 1 1/2 years now. She loves it, the whole thing from looking after the pony to riding. She watches YouTube videos constantly about horse care and pretty obsessed.

We're an outdoor family and I love it down at the stables.

Recently I found a loan pony for my daughter, the owner is very thorough which is what I want. She knows we're newbies but happy to train us up. We're taking it slowly there, so we can get our confidence up and experience. I see this as a long term thing so keep what to invest in it. The pony itself is a ploddy type pony, the type we need to begin with.

We also will be getting 1-2-1 lessons with the loan pony via an instructor at the livery. Currently her lessons at the riding school is a group lesson of 8. It's lovely but takes ages to wait for each child to have a go at cantering.

I'm torn as to what to do. Financially I can't afford to carry both places on at the same time. It's one or the other.

With the riding school, once she gets to a certain level she can be a leader for the little ones and there's lots of friends she could make there which she needs as she's an only child.

At the livery I've noticed it's quite bitchy, lots of back stabbing which I don't like and don't want to be involved with. There's none of that at the riding school.

I want what's best for my daughter and currently I'm a bit torn.

Help! 😬

As a kid who rode and adored horses. Most stables have a lot of bitchiness! If where your daughter is riding doesn’t have it I imagine they are just good at hiding it 😂

I’d say your daughter will gain way more experience loaning that pony. Does her pony at the school change week by week?

I’d take the loan pony. She will learn a lot having 121 lessons and not be constrained by the school structure. She could start hacking out and maybe even go to some shows, invaluable experience. She’ll learn even more just caring for the pony and being ‘in charge’. Try to keep out of yard politics as much as possible, just ignore it.
If it doesn’t work out she can always go back to the riding school or you can find another loan.

Ah ok! Thanks for the heads up!

Every week she rides a different pony at the riding school. I'd like her to build a bond with one. She is so caring and takes it really seriously, so I think it would benefit both her and the pony just doing it one on one.

Any tips of the bitchiness? We're nice people, I'm staying out of it but we like to chat to people as we're both sociable! Should we just stay to ourselves?'

1.5 years at a riding school is probably only 70 hours riding so far if she goes weekly, and less actual useful riding time as lessons are slow, which isn't much expensive. She will make much quicker progress with a loan pony if the owners are genuinely able to help and you are both happy to learn but take it steadily. I have seen kids get over ambitious with Loan ponies and lose confidence due to trying to canter in open fields and jump etc when they are only used to plodding along in a riding school. With the livery politics, you can be bright and breezy, don't get involved in politics, listen politely but don't act on everyone's advice, stick to owner and coach as they know the pony and will get to know your daughter.

Thanks you're helping me with my decision. I'm going to do a trial on the loan pony for a month or so, and make the decision then. If it doesn't work out we can go back to the school until we find another loan pony.

For us it's lifestyle thing, we get so much joy for it 😊

Much experience I mean. Building a bond with one pony is lovely although her experience with lots of different ones will help.

Thanks so much everyone 😊

No we're doing the lessons in the arena , and possibly even start off on the lead reign and build up once we get a feel of the loan pony. I'm definitely not into going crazy with this as I can see how it can go wrong.

Personally would keep going with the riding school a bit longer. However we are lucky that our centre is really brilliant and DD has made some really close friends there so it's the social aspect for her as well as the ponies and riding. But also, they gain so much from riding different ponies rather than being on the same one all the time. She's got to know all their quirks and how to ride them differently. We've considered a loan pony but then she would lose all that variety and the social side of it as well which has really helped her confidence. They learn loads of pony care, help out with the little ones on lead rein, play games and study pony health. There's no way I could find time to provide all that if we went solo with our own pony as much as she'd love one!

Having 8 in a lesson is too many though and I can understand worries about not gaining much from lessons if that full. Ours a max of 6, usually 5.

8 is a huge group. I would avoid anything over 4, 5 at a push.

You could always take the loan pony, get her doing more riding , then go back to the riding school in a better class at a later date.
I worked in a riding school in my early teens and absolutely loved it!

What I was going to do, is do three lessons a month with the loan pony and one with the riding school for a couple of months. That should be enough time for me to work things out.

I really do feel that 8 in a class is way too big. They literally spend half the lesson of 45 minutes waiting around. To gain the experience she needs it needs to be much smaller or just one on one.

I'm just torn as she will lose potentially the ability to do lead reign with the little ones and the social side which she really wants!

One thing you could look at, if you have transport, and the owner is happy, is to join Pony Club. Lessons typically will be a LOT cheaper than one-to one, but in small groups of similar ability, and she'll gain friends for life. Go to pcuk.org and search for your nearest branch to join (you want a branch not a centre membership) https://pcuk.org/find-a-club/ - hopefully a branch not too far away. Have a look on the branch website and see what activities they offer, they'll often do lots of unmounted activities too. (varies from branch to branch).

I don't think the pony's owner would be happy us taking the pony offsite. Plus I'd be petrified with a horse box on the back 😬 I'll just stick to lessons and some hacking eventually!

Maybe in years to come we could do little shows as well.

For us, we're also just happy taking the horse for a summer walk and a little picnic. Which we couldn't do at a riding school x

Dts are pony club, they have wasn't all their badges and now spend all day Saturday at the yard and most Sundays too. They earn points in exchange for a ride for helping out. They have their lesson during the week and get bonus rides if people drop out at the weekend. They get a lot more from it than having a loan on a livery yard. Lots of the kids have part loans at the riding school. We're looking into that option.

Don't you need your own pony at pony club though?

I'd go for the loan pony based on what you say. Your daughter will gain so much more by having 1 to 1 lessons and her 'own' pony. Just be aware though that riding school horses are often dead to the leg and a bit switched off having been ridden in the school by novice riders for years. Your loan pony might be a bit more switched on, which isn't a bad thing but something to expect.

Is there a sandschool at the loan pony's yard? If so, will you have to book it for your daughter's lessons/practice sessions? It isn't a problem if you do but not everyone's aware that this is the case sometimes and book an instructor only to find someone else using the school. As for bitchiness... just be polite and let it go over your head - there's bound to be someone who you'll get on with, the same for your daughter.

I'd be very clear on what the loan involves. How many days? What is expected from you in terms of bringing in/turning out/mucking out on your days? Will the owner allow you to take your daughter out on a lead rein for short hacks? Contribution towards shoes?

I'm sure your daughter is very excited - I hope everything works out well.

Thanks 😊

We've discussed payment, it'll just be on a daily basis. We're doing one day a weekend. But I've said I'll happy to cover her if she goes away for the weekend as I want to help her out too.

I've received a comprehensive list of what to do and what not to do, which I'm going to print out and bring with us every time we go. Plus she is showing us fully what to do I person as well. We will learn the tacking up through the instructor over the coming months. I'm sure she'd be happy for us to take the pony out on lead reign for a hack once she can see we have experience under our belt.

I'm not one of these mums who is wanting to rush things. I really want to try for both our sake to learn as much as possible. I only have one child and I want to look after her! x

You describe it as ploddy. I would check how ploddy as sometimes it's not much fun. At least at a riding school you can switch around a bit.

From experience of many years they very quickly outgrow ponies the more they ride. Not sure why but the bitchiness at some yards is weird. The classes I teach some have there own ponies but it hasn't taken them long to out grow and need a new challenge. Also don't forget most loan ponies you may have to go every day or several times a week and some still include paying half of vet bills,shoes etc

Well he needs a bit of encouragement to get him to canter etc. He is still young, I know that he will behave differently to riding school ponies and I want my DD to have experience of that. I don't need to pay towards anything other than the daily rate.

This is purely a trial first, if I find the pony awful for my DD to ride then we will leave it. Stick with the riding school and maybe when the pony comes over try again. We're in no rush.

Thanks for the advice about the bitchiness. I really don't like all that as it makes me quite uncomfortable. I'm going to just keep my head down and get on with it.

Riding stables are a business so unless paying for a 1-2-1 lesson they will overload the lessons.

Loaning a pony can be fun if the owner isn't just looking for someone to fund the livery costs and is willing to let the loaner use the pony as they would their own, some charge a small fee, some just ask that you do the daily mucking out, if pony is stabled.

As you say yards can have one or two bitchy people but you don't really need to get involved with them. Just remember you're their for your DD hobby not to get involved in yard politics.

Most yards though do have a few decent people some of which may be only to happy to help and encourage your DD with her horsey passion by way of giving useful/helpful advise when riding/grooming/tacking up etc...

Is there a written contract between you and the owner regarding cost, how many days you loan, emergency vet bills, dentists, generally who pays for what?

Maybe ask the owner if she'd mind your DD joing a local pony club too.

Your plan to have an occasional lesson at riding school but mainly stick with the loan sounds good. One other thing to explore is whether there's another school in your area which offers Pony Club centre - this is specifically for children without their own pony (as opposed to branches). PC centre can be lots of fun, the riding isn't hugely different from group lessons to start with but they usually do non mounted stuff and games etc as well as working towards badges/tests and sometimes doing little competitions with other centres too. Something to think about anyway.

In terms of the bitchiness, it can be a feature unfortunately, you just have to develop a thick skin to some extent and ignore. My tactic over many years of dealing with it is to be friendly and chat with everyone but simply not engage in any level of commentary on other people, what they do and don't do with their horses, their DC etc. I'm very strict with this even if I actually am annoyed by something and would quite like to vent, I save it for home and poor DH's ears only, or raise with yard manager if an actual welfare/safety issue. It helps that I'm an old woman now 😂 and so I've developed a tactical intermittent deafness that means I can get away with 'not hearing' a lot of comments or answering questions with total non sequiturs, e.g. 'Don't you think X is totally overhorsed with that warmblood, she should totally have got a quiet cob?' I answer 'oh yes warmbloods are such good movers, I think chestnuts are much the prettiest colour too'. Then I suddenly remember something urgent I've forgotten at the other end of the yard and potter off to do it. I'm sure they think I'm a complete scatty idiot who's on another planet (dread to think what gets said about me behind my back!) but I'd rather that than all the gossip and drama, people know to leave me out of all that now...

If you are only sharing the pony 1 day a week I would just find a better riding school , one that is a Pony Club centre - that way she can start doing the badges etc . If you give us a rough idea of location someone may be able to suggest somewhere . There is literally no benefit from riding one ploddy pony once a week , you’d be better learning on lots of different ponies .

I was in exactly this predicament a few months ago. My daughter had been riding for a few years- I’m a non horsey mum - We were at a riding school with livery and loaned one of the horses for 2 days a week. Pooh picking and jobs on our days but only turn in. She had friends there and rode all different horses, but we felt ready to move on- there was a weird atmosphere at the yard- we kept completely out of it but you spend so much time there I could feel it in the air and we started to dread going down. We decided to move to a loan at a private yard. It’s been amazing. We now do 3x a week - morning/ evening turn out (no Pooh picking- yay! That means we get much more time with our horse) and add has lessons on the loan horse. I was so worried as it’s such a commitment, but the owner is really lovely and the communication is great- we pretty much speak daily and she seems delighted we care about our loan so much. We didn’t have this with our first loan- we only ever got contacted when there was an issue (either with us or at the yard). So the relationship you have with the owner really makes a difference to the whole experience imo.
I love being at the yard with my DD - she is 12 now and we have the most lovely conversations and I get an insight to what is happening in her life. I don’t think you’ll regret it!