Stay at riding school or loan pony?

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi everyone,

I need a bit of advice please. Firstly I'm not a horsey mum, we're new to this. My 9 new old daughter started lessons at a local riding school and has been going consistently for over 1 1/2 years now. She loves it, the whole thing from looking after the pony to riding. She watches YouTube videos constantly about horse care and pretty obsessed.

We're an outdoor family and I love it down at the stables.

Recently I found a loan pony for my daughter, the owner is very thorough which is what I want. She knows we're newbies but happy to train us up. We're taking it slowly there, so we can get our confidence up and experience. I see this as a long term thing so keep what to invest in it. The pony itself is a ploddy type pony, the type we need to begin with.

We also will be getting 1-2-1 lessons with the loan pony via an instructor at the livery. Currently her lessons at the riding school is a group lesson of 8. It's lovely but takes ages to wait for each child to have a go at cantering.

I'm torn as to what to do. Financially I can't afford to carry both places on at the same time. It's one or the other.

With the riding school, once she gets to a certain level she can be a leader for the little ones and there's lots of friends she could make there which she needs as she's an only child.

At the livery I've noticed it's quite bitchy, lots of back stabbing which I don't like and don't want to be involved with. There's none of that at the riding school.

I want what's best for my daughter and currently I'm a bit torn.

Help! 😬

I'm very unlikely to take part in horsey chat, my knowledge is zero - the only cob I know is a sweetcorn cob 🤣 And to be honest I want to keep it that way.

I just want to know how to look after a pony, enjoy it and watch my DD have fun!

The yard the current loan pony is on is large and has a bit of strange vibe to it. Also the owner is extremely particular about things, which is good but I think it could eventually be a problem later on if she is always nit picking. So my plan is to get a good amount of experience on the pony. And move to a smaller friendlier yard. One with a similar set up where we can get lessons there, and not be tied to having to be there morning and evening. I work full time and don't have the time for that! x

I agree with @Floralnomad at this stage your dd will get much more out of riding lots of different ponies at a better riding school, preferably one that’s a Pony Club centre. I’m

Reading your latest post I think reinforces even more that your daughter would do better at a riding school with a PC centre . Novice young horse and novice rider is never a good idea . As a non horsey parent how do you know that what the owner is telling you is correct . Would you for example know how to tell if the pony was lame ? I know everyone has to start somewhere but it’s safer and more advantageous for your child to learn at a reputable stables and if she is still keen look at loaning when she is 11/12 and has been on more pony weeks etc . Moving forwards unless you can afford full livery , if you have a loan / share pony you will invariable have to visit twice a day .

Another vote for a PC centre, 8 in a 45 min lesson is crazy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that. The loan sounds like the owner may be an “issue”.

I know 😬 I am a little bit worried about the owner if I'm going to be honest. It all feels a bit strange if I'm going to be honest.

I think because she's never done it before she is a bit apprehensive. But she is a horsey person and understands the pony, her 5 year old already has lessons on him. But they only do basic trotting. I'm not sure how he would be to canter.

I'm looking into the pony club thing, but I've heard these are horrendous for bitchiness as well - argh!

A PC centre at a riding school shouldn’t be too ‘bitchy’ , the children all tend to make friends and have fun as they are all in the same boat - horse loving children who don’t have their own pony .

Ok thank you 😊 You've all given me some fantastic ideas thank you! I didn't even know the PC places existed. And you're right, 8 in a class is too much x

Given the type of agreement you’re in is a single day a week, essentially a 1 day in 7 share, I’d stick with a riding school, maybe pay for smaller classes or 1/1 if it’s affordable. It’s good to get a range of experience on different types of ponies. To put it in perspective, I had lessons from age 6 through to 14, then I loaned a horse until I went to uni. In a true loan you are responsible for pretty much everything; livery costs, care, feed, shoes…in mine, the owner paid the horses insurance and I paid my rider insurance.

I’d also be a bit cautious if the pony is young. In your shoes, I’d be looking for an older pony who has been there, done that, ready to teach a new young rider. Bear in mind a young child is going to fall in love with the pony but ultimately it is not hers, and the heartbreak is inevitable. I bawled my eyes out on my final day of my loan and I knew I could come back anytime and ride him as I had a great relationship with his owner!

As for bitchiness, yards can be bitchy. I was lucky to be on a small friendly one but the balance there was having less facilities. Big yards often have the best facilities but also mean more people and more bitchiness.

Some pony club branches are lovely, some are less so- but they're not all the same and you can't generalise across a whole organisation with the same brush.

To be honest, it sounds like your daughter would get a lot out of the loan arrangement, and if it's not working out, you can easily end it, especially in the early days where the pony is staying at the same yard etc. You'll both learn a lot about horse care and gain confidence that she won't get at a riding school.

If you've never seen the pony canter with a rider, I would ask to see that with a more experienced child (at a large yard, there must be one available?) before your daughter doing it yourself though!

You definitely don't want your daughter to become a crash test dummy for someone else's pony!

Do you know if the pony is happy hacking alone?

Definitely do the loan! You learn so much more from loaning than from riding school
Lessons. And it's so rewarding having your "own" pony and building a relationship with one.

Hello!

Today we had our first day with our lovely loan pony. The owner was really friendly and thorough in terms of what we need to do.

We were warned 'normal' ponies are very different to riding school ponies.

But owner said the pony was very safe, never bucked and her young daughter has lessons on him. I always knew that there is an element of risk, but the pony went from walking to bolting in the arena in a minute. My daughter held on but then the pony bucked slightly and she fell off. Luckily she wasn't hurt, just a little shaken but she happily got back on again. But this time we used a long lead reign. It was just unfortunate as there were two other horses cantering in the same area which I'm sure spooked the pony. He is only 5 and I don't think is an experienced as other ponies

I'm torn now. The owner really likes me and said she was comfortable having us look after the pony, she asked if we'd like to carry on loaning the pony. And I said yes.

We did all the general yard/stable duties afterwards and loved it. We had such a laugh and got home exhausted but happy. My daughter wasn't fazed.

But then I got a major feeling of doubt coming over me. Part of me feels my daughter would get a lot of experience riding a normal pony, but is this the right one? Should we give it another couple of weeks and if it still exhibits the same behaviour decide to leave then?

I spoke to my daughter and said would it be better to just stick with the riding school, gain a few more years experience and try again with an older pony. But she wants to continue with the loan pony a bit longer.

Is this all a massive risk I'm taking? Saying that at our last lesson with the riding a school a girl feel off when the horse did nothing wrong and ended up really hurting herself and an ambulance called.

To be honest a pony completely suitable for a total novice would (a) not be 5, very few ponies at 5 have enough mileage under their belts to be a proper schoolmaster (b) not be overly bothered about other ponies being ridden around them (c) not deck your DD within 5 mins of her being on. And a properly responsible owner would (a) probably not have let your DD ride off the lead rein her first ride knowing it's a young pony, you're fairly inexperienced at supervising and there's other ponies bombing around (b) have been mortified about the decking and be very circumspect about the suitability of the arrangement going forward. I'd be suspicious that she's much more interested in getting some to muck out for her/pay than this being a safe arrangement for you and your DD.

I was leaning towards the camp of give the loan a try from your earlier posts but I'm afraid to say I'm now firmly on the side of go back to lessons/pony club. Yes riding is a risky hobby but there's no need to make it worse by putting her on an unsuitable/bucking pony. It's great she was fine this time but nothing makes them lose their confidence and enjoyment quicker than being repeatedly decked. I guess if you do really want to carry on you can but have the pony on a lead rein the whole time with you at the head, don't let her off to ride on her own, but she won't gain much experience from that and I would put bets on that once the novelty has worn off mucking out and plodding around next to mum will start to get pretty boring/unappealing...

Just to be clear she had an instructor in with her, I wasn't giving her the lesson. I wouldn't have had a clue how to do that. But I was shocked that the instructor didnt use the lead reign first.

But I think you are echoing my thoughts on this one. My daughter's going to be so upset, but I just feel it's way too much of a risk. Being constantly on a lead reign will become boring especially as she's cantering on her own at the riding school. It feels like a massive step back.

I'm going to tell the owner tomorrow. As much as it'll break my daughters heart I think it's the right decision

Definitely keep doing riding school lessons but I’d look for one which is a pony club centre - the loan pony doesn’t sound suitable at all for what your dd needs right now. It would be different if you were very horsey and could effectively teach her but as you’re learning about horses at the same time I don’t think this sounds like it will be the kind of loan you need right now

I understand how you feel, I really do feel for you. But I think you're totally doing the right thing, indeed the only responsible thing to do as a parent. Your Dd's safety is much too precious to take risks with and she'll be much safer and have more fun having lessons, and there will be other share or loan opportunities in future

I'm wondering after this if a loan is right for us 😬 we loved going to the stables, but even though I didn't show it at the time the whole thing was petrifying. Seeing your child on a run away horse and having zero control is horrific and I'm struggling to get the image out of my head now.

If a great older pony comes along then perhaps I'd consider but. But I don't feel I have enough experience for the lessons, so unless there was a qualified instructor there I think I wouldn't do it.

How do I let the owner know? I was going to call her in the morning and just be honest as say thank you but I feel the fall has taken away my daughter's confidence and we're sticking with the riding school for a bit?

Well I think maybe give it a little while longer for your DD to gain experience and then find a properly quiet/reliable pony (they are out there, yes even outside riding schools) and it will be fine. If you can learn a bit about horses yourself in the meantime so you are able to supervise (nb not teach) that will help too.

One thing I'd say is you very much talk about 'lessons' but a skill your DD really needs to have before being really able to benefit from a share/loan is independent riding. Most of the time sharers/loaners (including children) aren't having a lesson with someone telling them what to do or following a set pattern (e.g. all trot round together, canter to the back one by one) because (a) they can't afford to have an instructor there all the time (b) you couldn't organise the other riders to all be doing the same thing at the same time, you need to be able to learn to be observant of others, obey the school rules (does your DD know these - check with her, she should be able to rattle them off easily, they're the same everywhere even in other countries!). They're schooling the horse/pony to their own plan with their own timings and exercises in their head based off what they want to practice, the pony's strengths/weaknesses and current fitness levels etc. This is all the more important as you say because you aren't horsey yourself and aren't able to instruct her...

To practice this skill, your DD probably needs private lessons (or group lessons where they work in something called 'open order', ask your instructor if they offer these for children, usually it's the more advanced classes). Your DD needs to practice taking total responsibility for her ride from the minute she leads the pony in to the end - she needs to sort out and check her own tack, get herself on (with helper to hold stirrup if needed), warm herself and the pony up, pick something to work on, practice it, evaluate how it's going, make changes if needed, then move on to the next thing - then cool herself down at the end and get off/prepare the pony to leave. When she can do all that with minimal instruction she's ready for a share/loan IMO. Obviously she can't do all this from nothing at the age of 9 but a good instructor can act as coach and guide, if they aren't willing to try either your DD's not quite ready yet and just needs to work on her skills more or you need another school...

OP I also think you're doing the correct thing in not going a head with this loan pony and it does sound as though it still needs a bit of working on in itself.
As you say it won't do your DD's confidence any good if she gets bucked off everytime she rides it.

I wouldn't let it put me off of continuing to look for another bomb proof, older loan pony though.

How to tell the owner, I'm a coward but I'd text/whatsapp rather than call. You don't really owe this lady anything more than a polite decline at this point so I'd just say something like thanks so much for the opportunity and her time, you've reflected and you think the pony is just a bit too much for your DD at this time so you'll be sticking with the riding school.

Thanks everyone, your advice is absolutely brilliant

It's not put me off another loan pony. I love the whole thing and so does my DD. The fact that she got back on after a bad fall was amazing! I thought she would said no! But we need a pony that is older and bomb proof as you say. In the meantime we're going to continue at riding school. I've found a smaller more old fashioned type riding school with a pony centre, I'm going to arrange to view it.

The owner just sent me a lovely pic of the loan pony fast asleep, it's adorable and pulls at my heart strings but he is so cute and lovely to look after but a nightmare to ride 🤣

I've spoken to a few people who seem to think one day we will own our own pony 🤣 But I can't afford one! Xx

Not if it's a Pony Club Centre (as opposed to Pony Club branch). You don't need your own pony then - it's usually done at big riding schools.

Ahh sorry didn't read the whole thread and just realised Op got it all under control 😃

I was exactly like you OP - not horsey at all (been on a horse once in my whole life and fell off 🤣) with zero knowledge. Totally unexpected that my daughter got into riding. Pony Club, loaning and then suddenly we owned our own pony - then two 😂 now she's a teen, rides 6 days per week (7 lessons per week between two ponies plus on her own) and competes BSJA. I still know very little but my daughter works at the yard and is a total pro. So you have all that to come in the near future 😃

Unfortunately, falling is part of riding so your daughter had her right to passage...

Aw, that's frustrating that the coach didn't start right at the basics and asses her on the lead rein, especially as there were other horses in the arena. My two have had loose 'loan' arrangements for several years and they always started off on the lead rein or with me right next to them with a new pony( I'm a coach which helps). Riding with others is a skill to be learned as well. Riding school ponies are a world away from normal ponies and give a false sense of security and progress. Although they do give lots of pleasure, the learning is very different. It's a shame this hasn't worked out. Maybe she needs to have some private lessons where she works on being independent and not following the pony in front, a safe warm up which includes checking brakes and steering, and progressing to there being another rider doing different things. I'm Lucky that the other riders at the yard are considerate so when riding in the arena don't bomb around whizzing past in canter but it is a big arena which helps. Having that awareness of where the other riders are develops. Don't give up on the dream, just take steps towards it. Also true bolting in an arena is pretty rare, a sudden acceleration to canter might look scary but bolting is usually pure fear or pain. Often novice riders give conflicting signals with legs/ seat/ hands and riding school ponies learn to ignore most of these. Hanging on, leaning forwards and causing tension usually makes a pony go faster, which is a typical novice position. My first session with an unknown novice combination would be lots of walking around and talking on a longish lead rein, then assessing start/ stop and turning, before maybe a short trot on the lead rein. Regardless if the rider said she could canter in a riding school. I'd be able to tell by her position and way of doing this how experienced they were. I used to work at a trekking centre and you could usually tell by how they got on whether they were fibbing about their experience! Not implying your daughter is fibbing at all, it's quite normal to be able to canter at a riding school but find the change to a different pony really challenging and require to go back a few steps. Worth it in the long run though.

Sorry for the delay in replying! Horseymum it's funny you say this. This morning I called up the owner and explained it wasn't working, I was really nice about it. We ended up having a really long chat, she's been brought up with horses and knows a lot about them. We agreed my DD should have been on the lead reign at the start, and build up from there.

She gave me more back ground history on the pony and I feel more reassured about the situation. She echoed what you said, a riding school pony is very different to a normal pony. And tbh I want my daughter to learn to ride on a normal pony, it's great experience if she can master it.

So..we're going to carry on. But we're starting with a weekend of my daughter and me just looking after the pony, building up the bond and trust. Then next we'll do lessons on the lead reign, building up just as you suggest.

The owner has been lovely about it and said there is no pressure for us loaning her pony. If it keeps happening then we've agreed to leave it. But she feels it was a bit of a one off as he hasn't done it before. But we will see!

If it works, then it could be a great loan for us and provide us with some amazing experience. The owner is being incredibly supportive and trying to ease us into the horse world as we're both a bit clueless!