2nd Baby or Horse ??

[Gmaes]

Bit of an odd one but no where else would understand and anyone non horsey I talk too just doesn’t get it ! I have one little girl who is the light of my life and my best friend, she is now three. We ride together and she loves it so far, but she’s getting to that age where if I were to have another it would be soon. However I am also in a position where financially I could buy a horse again which fills me with excitement I am stupidly small so could easily get something for myself and my little girl. I am so torn, and my partner is entirely supportive in either decision which almost makes it harder if he was one and done or really desperate for another it would help ! But I haven’t always had an easy life (sob story I know) and part of me wants to be selfish now to give my little girl everything I can and have the things I want, have a bit of my time back and not sacrifice it all over again. The thought of pregnancy and the newborn stages fills me with dread. And when I think of another baby there is anxiety, how would I cope would I be able to give my little one all she needs I know I would be far off having a horse again financially and time wise but I’m worried I may regret it, and my little one will be missing out on a sibling ? She does have lots of cousins and if we had a horse I’d ensure we were at a kid friendly yard too.

sorry for the long old slog but any perspectives opinions stories etc would be highly appreciated.

It seems to me that you don't want another child so why not accept it?

I'd go for the horse. If it doesn't work out/suit etc, you can sell on. You can't do that with a kid

Nothing in your post really indicates that you particularly want another baby, just that maybe you feel you ought to? There’s nothing wrong with ‘one and done’ and choosing to move onto the next stage in your life, past the baby stage.
I do get it. I have had horses and ridden my whole life. I stopped riding when I was 6/7 months pregnant, and while I have got back into it now, it’s not what it was. I know that missing-something feeling of not riding.

Horse, no contest for me!

You obviously don't want another child.

Get the horse.

Honestly your post sounds like you don't want a baby at all and just want someone to say "buy the horse"

So buy the horse

You shouldn't have a baby unless you are sure, and while you shouldn't buy a horse without commitment you can loan or sell if you decide later you want a baby.

It sounds like you don’t want another child, so get a horse.

Horse duh!

Horse 🐎

How old are you? It wouldn't be the perfect age gap, but so long as you're not already 40 the horse doesn't necessarily close the baby door. You can sell or loan the horse in 5 years if you suddenly find you want another baby. The horse might scratch the baby itch permanently though!

That's how I felt when pg with DC2 and a few wags asked me that exact question.

No contest, get the horse!

Yeah I’m not horsey at all but reading that post it’s pretty clear you would not like another child. Like PP said, you can sell the horse if it doesn’t work out but you can’t sell a kid.

Yeah I think you’ve hit the nail on the head after typing the post I realised I actually already know what I want but feel guilty about that decision and rather than just honouring my feelings I keep thinking am I sure, surely I should want another ? I do worry that my little one will miss out without a sibling but with a sibling she’d also miss out on a pony and I know what I would of preferred !

Thanks all, I think even typing the post after I was a bit clearer on what I wanted I just have this guilt that makes me question it, sometimes the thought of an another baby in an ideal world is lovely but then when I think of reality I’m just not so sure. Think I just need to come to terms with it and not feel guilty for it and just grateful I have this decision !

Horse.

Glad you’re feeling clearer now 😊 good luck finding your new horse and enjoy those lovely toddler hacks, nothing like watching your child enjoy riding just as much as you 🥰

Don't feel guilty about not having a sibling for your DD. Mine are 3 years apart and loathe each other to the point that we can't do anything as a family, so it's not all sweetness and light! Get the horse and the lifestyle that suits you.

Ah sorry to hear that but thank you for that perspective! X

Another vote for horse
I have two daughters less than two years apart and they're pretty horrible to each other half the time. Also only my eldest likes riding, the younger one isn't a fan so i end up doing lots with the older one.

I'm voting baby.

Give your child the opportunity to have a sibling if you can.
You never know what's around the corner.
You may be able to buy a horse in years to come but the baby days are short.

I think I’ve settled on the fact I shouldn’t bring a whole life into the world just to be a playmate, plus it will limit mine and my daughters opportunity’s took a lot of thought but ultimately realised I only felt a need for a second because of guilt not because I actually wanted one on its own merits, I think life will be more varied and fun for me and just my daughter as well as being able to provide her a lot more. Think I had to type it out just to realise it lol

I wanted more than one but it didn't happen.

However that one is horse mad and being an only means we now have two horses and can spend all our time with them without worry or leaving one child out. And they would definitely chose horse over a sibling!!

And if your daughter grows out of horses and into adulthood and doesn't have any sibling relationship because you wanted a horse and could have just waited 5 years to have one? My eldest wouldn't have ever forgiven me