Am I selfish and foolish to take up riding again?

[Tifalockhart]

Bit of background, learned to ride as a child, then loaned a pony as a teen/young adult. Have ridden infrequently since (just a bit of hacking.) Have only ever done hacking and a bit of showing.

I am finding myself increasingly desperate to immerse myself in the horse world again-I miss everything about it. I am mid thirties now and feel that time is slipping away from me. I was thinking about starting lessons again at a well regarded riding school near me, eventually I would like to own/loan/part-loan although this would be a few years down the line.

However, I find I keep wondering if it’s a foolish thing to do. After all, there is no denying it’s a dangerous sport. I have three children and a full-time job if I were to fall and break anything it would make life extremely difficult. To add to this, when I mentioned it to my Mum she reacted with all the shock and outrage as if I had said I was going to take up crack-cocaine. She said it was irresponsible and I am too old now. She barely tolerated me riding as a child but allowed it as I loved it so much.

Any thoughts? If you are in a similar position to me, how do you justify the risk/danger?

Just do it. Go for lessons again, build up your confidence. Go for some hacks and see how you feel. It’s unlikely you will have enough time to buy something and have it in livery to tend to it for a few years, but you can still go and enjoy for a few hours a week even if it’s on something quiet

I personally think its important to have some you time, and if for you that is riding then go for it!
Pre-DD I evented/hunted etc. I stopped riding when I got pregnant and then waited until she was 3 before I got another horse. I then decided that I couldn't justify eventing etc again (plus the cost!) so I switched to dressage/showing. My nerves increased massively after DD to so I don't think I would even be able to do a decent size XC now, they can be paralysing at times.
That's how I justify/mitigate the risk but I also make sure I keep lessons up and that I'm the best rider I can be, a balanced rider will always be safer than an unbalanced one.
Ultimately riding is high risk but it is essential for my mental health so for me the benefits outweigh the risks.

You’re going for lessons in a riding school. Not work riding 5 furlong sprinters!
As long as you can afford it it’s fine

Do it, just be prepared for the cost especially if any of the DC’s get interested.

I started lessons again, now both DD’s have lessons and we’ve ended up with a pony 😂

Thanks for the opinions. I think I just needed some positivity hence me posting this in the tack room rather than the general forum!

I think I just have this urge to reconnect with something which I loved so much and has brought me so much joy in the past. Life feels like it is passing by at an alarming speed sometimes, I don’t want to regret not doing something by the time I am too old.

No point expecting a reasoned and impartial opinion from your mum, given her history. You don't need her views or her permission - just go for it!!

Go for it. I’m 47 and took riding up again when I was 42. There’s a 73 year old who still has lessons. I restarted as DD was having lessons. I’ve only fallen a few times. Yes, it’s dangerous. But there’s a big difference between eventing on a massive thoroughbred and having a lesson in an arena with a riding school horse.

What I would say is that 1) i don’t ‘bounce’ when I fall off like I did as a teenager 2) the older I get, the more nervous I am. I now only jump cross poles from a trot. I was really getting at myself for doing this/ going backwards, but I’ve decided that it’s not a competition. I’m paying a lot and need to enjoy what I’m doing.

As js mentioned above, be ready for the cost. Do you have a partner? And can you afford what you want to do? Would they be OK with a chunk of money being spent on horses? I wasn’t riding when I met my DH so he wasn’t prepared for it! He does sometimes get pissed off about how much we spend.

All I want to do is hacking really, have never had any interest in jumping. I do have a husband, although luckily he has a hobby which requires money and time…although not as much as horses. I would only be planning a couple of lessons or hacks a month as that’s really all I can afford in terms of time and money!

I rode as a child, then stopped for a long time and dreamed I would get a horse when I retired. Met DH who thought that was insane, why waste decades not doing something I loved? Long story short, we bought a horse, then another, and so on, and nearly 30 years on I have ridden the whole time and still not retired - go for it @Tifalockhart, life is too short for regrets!

Definitely do it - I think you regret things you don’t do more than things you do. As you say, life is short and if there's something you really want to do, grab it with both hands and enjoy it.

Do it! I'm nearly 59 and my ponies and riding are one of the greatest pleasures in my life. They are so good for my mental health too.

The way I look at it - it’s selfish not to do it! Being around my horse and riding him makes me a better person, a better mum and a better colleague. It’s fantastic for your mental health too. Crack on I say ;)!

Do it. It will make you fitter physically and mentally. I took riding lessons again weekly when I hit 40 having given up riding age 18. I minimise risk - I don't jump, will only canter in school or on good ground. I really enjoy dressage now, something my younger self wouldn't have done!

I bought my mum riding lessons for Christmas, she hadn't ridden since she was 15 and she was nervous to get back on a horse at 58 but did it and loved it.

I say go gor it, minimise the risk like everything we do and enjoy your hobby.

Bike riding on country roads or even just driving a car are risky activities too but people still do it.

Thanks for all the encouragement, thanks to you lot I have booked myself a ride for a couple of weeks, on my birthday.

Those who have mentioned mental health…that is a big motivation for me. Unfortunately, I am quite an anxious person with a tendency to worry about the future and think negatively. For me, riding is something that will allow me to be present in the moment and give me a positive focus, as well as the obvious benefits of being outside and getting exercise.

I don’t have many friends, a hectic social life or any other hobbies, this is about finding something for me, that brings me enjoyment. I do worry otherwise that when my (now teenage/preteen) children move out I will not be left with much.

Brilliant well done, you will make new friends riding I'm sure. Like you say it is fantastic for making you focus on the here + now and there's a reason why horses are used as therapy animals. Good luck and there is an Adult riders thread on her so why don't you have look, you will be in good company and get lots of support xx

Lovely that you're starting up again. My turning 30 resolution was to start riding again (had been living in London for a while but found a great London-based club). I left London age 36, I'm still on the committee of that club and I'm now 43 with a pony club kid, my own horse and a youngster and a non-horsey husband! It's a slippery slope...

It’s not dangerous, no more so that getting in a car. What it is, is very very fun. I couldn’t live without it.

Thanks all, I am looking forward to it. Just slightly worried I will have forgotten everything!

I returned to riding lessons at 47 (after a 25 year break) and now have my own horse in my mid 50s. Best thing I ever did, and I had a parent who would make me doubt my decisions.
My rules are:
a. Will it hurt anyone? b. Can I make financial space to afford it?
If you answer No / Yes then it’s game on. Life is too short.

I ride to a high standard as a teen. Loved it, it was my absolute life. Then actual life got in the way. I took it up again aged 42. Still love it! Though all I do now is hack really.
Do it!
But be prepared to be saddle sore at first in a way you would never have imagined possible first time around!

So, I went for my ride today. Beautiful open countryside, a truly lovely, forward going horse to ride. However, I will admit I felt pretty scared, unbalanced and like my hands and legs were all over the place. On one hand, it was lovely to be on a horse again, on the other hand I felt like a sack of spuds bouncing around. I didn’t really feel in control.

Only right at the end did I feel like I could do rising trot without bouncing out of the saddle. Cantering was exhilarating and terrifying. I don’t know why, but I was expecting to be quite as bad as I felt I was-despite not riding for many many years I thought it would all just click back into place.

I have decided to take it back to basics and have some lessons to try and get my seat back. No more hacking until I feel like I can actually ride again. Thanks for all the encouraging stories of taking up riding after a long break!

Agree, you need some lessons with a good instructor. I find a one a week Pilates session, especially with riding in mind also helps. Good luck

@Tifalockhart sounds amazing but yes a good series of lessons eould be highly beneficial. As @TodayInahurry says, Equipilates is great for helping you develop the correct muscles and also releasing any tension/wonkiness that you will have. The thing with riding when you are older is that our bodies no longer work like they did in our teens and we tend to have areas of major misalignment which impacts on our stability when riding.

Will definitely look at Pilates. I am so sore already-can’t imagine what tomorrow will be like!