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The tack room

Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

Am I selfish and foolish to take up riding again?

43 replies

Tifalockhart · 20/05/2023 12:57

Bit of background, learned to ride as a child, then loaned a pony as a teen/young adult. Have ridden infrequently since (just a bit of hacking.) Have only ever done hacking and a bit of showing.

I am finding myself increasingly desperate to immerse myself in the horse world again-I miss everything about it. I am mid thirties now and feel that time is slipping away from me. I was thinking about starting lessons again at a well regarded riding school near me, eventually I would like to own/loan/part-loan although this would be a few years down the line.

However, I find I keep wondering if it’s a foolish thing to do. After all, there is no denying it’s a dangerous sport. I have three children and a full-time job if I were to fall and break anything it would make life extremely difficult. To add to this, when I mentioned it to my Mum she reacted with all the shock and outrage as if I had said I was going to take up crack-cocaine. She said it was irresponsible and I am too old now. She barely tolerated me riding as a child but allowed it as I loved it so much.

Any thoughts? If you are in a similar position to me, how do you justify the risk/danger?

OP posts:
hashtagmethree · 02/06/2023 17:11

I just saw this thread in active and I'm not a horse rider but I would say if you feel as strongly about it as you seem to, I would go for it.

Life is short. Tomorrow, you could be struck down with physically debilitating illness or be in a car crash that destroys your mobility so that you can't ride.

You would really regret not making the most of your younger years for a passion - and it really sounds like a passion.

It's not like you are going steeplechasing or something. Most physical things carry a degree of danger. People die swimming, cycling,skiing, have heart attacks running. This is not a reason to not do something really because risk is balanced with the pleasure you get from it.

I'd go for it!

Happy Horsing!

hashtagmethree · 02/06/2023 17:12

Sorry - hadn't seen your later post

Tifalockhart · 02/06/2023 17:19

Thank you- those are very encouraging words, I will going again next weekend but starting off a little steadier this time!

OP posts:
JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 02/06/2023 17:26

Glad to see you went for it, definitely get some lessons you will feel less nervous when you are more secure!

Good luck!

BettyBoopy · 02/06/2023 18:52

You have inspired me! I'm 40, also with 3 kids and haven't ridden for 20 years after owning my own horse and riding daily as a teen. I'm hoping to start lessons again when my youngest starts preschool.

LittleDonkeyKong · 03/06/2023 19:26

I've just turned 40 and recently started riding again. I've ridden since I was 8, got own pony at 9, had a pyscho standardbred in my teens then an ex racehorse in my early 20s. Gave it all up when I got married and had my kids who are now 9 and 12. I part loan a lovely 16hh ID every Saturday and I love it. Today we had a lovely hack and I felt brave so did a couple of the tiniest xc jumps on the track that goes around the yards paddocks. I then did all the yard jobs I had to do! Those 4 hours today were the happiest of my week 😀 as a single mum it's important for me to do something I love. Yes it cam be dangerous but so can crossing a road!

Bobshhh · 08/06/2023 10:58

I have my first horse riding lesson in 20 years tomorrow. I’m so excited!

Have hacked once a year during that time but this might be the start of an expensive new hobby without my parents funding it this time around 😁

twistyizzy · 08/06/2023 11:03

@Bobshhh good luck and enjoy

Tifalockhart · 09/06/2023 17:34

@Bobshhh How did it go? I have my lesson on Sunday.

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Barold · 20/06/2023 15:42

How's the riding going @Tifalockhart ?

I haven't ridden in 15+ years and my mum bought me a new hat at Christmas so I'm starting lessons on Thursday (I was waiting for warmer weather and then got sidetracked)!

I'm so excited but also apprehensive. I presume I'll be absolutely shit but it would be quite nice if I wasn't as terrible as I imagine.

Tifalockhart · 25/06/2023 15:07

@Barold The lessons are going ok, thanks for asking. I feel much better riding in the school rather than out in the open countryside. I have been to two different places now, both with different approaches so now it’s a question of which one do I prefer.

The only downside is I thoroughly work myself up beforehand into a ball of nerves. This starts hours before unfortunately and I am not quite sure what to do about it. Once I have been riding for 10 minutes or so I am absolutely fine but it’s rather unpleasant before. I am, unfortunately, an anxious person anyway so this is hardly a surprise but I hope I can push through and eventually it won’t happen.

How was your lesson?

OP posts:
Barold · 25/06/2023 16:00

@Tifalockhart I think your nerves will calm down in time. As we get older I think we’re just a lot more cautious. And I totally agree about preferring to be in a school rather than hacking for now too.

I wasn’t nervous but definitely felt really uncomfortable being ‘on display’ and as daft as it sounds, I just wanted the teacher to shut up. Like I just needed to feel things out and reacquaint myself with the feeling of being on a horse instead of listening to constant instructions and trying to put them into practice.

My lesson…well, I was shockingly shit and I fully expected to be so there’s that. 😂 But also, I was not prepared for how foreign it would feel to be on a horse! Totally weird. Did it feel like that for you?

Also, I always had/rode the feisty ponies which obviously I could not handle now and I was, quite reassuringly, put on a plodder. The downside was that it was bloody hard work actually having to nudge her on so much! I was exhausted! 😂

marmite2023 · 25/06/2023 18:41

I’m still riding at 17weeks pregnant. My non-horsey DH insists I keep going due to the benefits for my mental health. I’m not jumping, but still schooling and hacking. My mare is rehabbing from an injury so it’s timed rather well.

Honestly, just give it a go. Even if you break something, bones heal! Usually 6 weeks and you’re back to normal, whereas I know at least two people with horrific knee injuries from tennis. Life is kind of dangerous. Getting in a car is dangerous; riding a bike is; crossing the road is. The balance in terms of joy and positive mental health is essential though, or else we’d all live as terrified recluses.

It is good to model to your dc that you take calculated risks and you do sport. Otherwise, how else will they learn to be brave and to love animals and being outdoors? You’ll be the best model for all of that.

Flixon · 26/06/2023 09:31

I had a similar story to you, but I was 55 when I started again, three children put paid to any riding from aged about 30 but I started again just after the first lockdown and in 4 months have bought my own pony. She is the light of my life now, I have had so much fun with her, met loads of friends and just had the best time. Right now she is injured, so I cannot ride, but I just love being with her, walking her inhand for her rehab and being round the stables. Go for it I would say

Tifalockhart · 26/06/2023 10:25

@Barold Yes it felt totally unfamiliar at first, far more than I thought it would. I can emphasise with feeling on display…there were lots of kids milling around when I had my lesson yesterday and I (totally unreasonably) wanted them all to bugger off. What are your eventual goals? I intend to do lessons until I have a secure seat in canter, as well as feeling like I can steer in canter then I will probably just do hacking, as that’s all I really want to do. Going by how shocking my rising trot is at present that may be a way off.

Thanks everyone for the encouraging stories. Since I have been going to these riding schools/trekking places I have spotted plenty of older women amongst all the kids which is reassuring.

OP posts:
Bobshhh · 26/06/2023 12:44

@Barold I only rode for 30mins in an evaluation lesson recently so they could grade me at the right ability and it took my leg muscles a week to recover! I thought I was pretty fit but I’d forgotten how riding muscles are unlike any other!

I also had the most gorgeous steady boy but having to constantly push him on while remember to sit deep / up / heels down / thumbs up was a lot to coordinate!

countrygirl99 · 26/06/2023 12:57

For nerves I've used various combinations of Kalms, Equimins Rider calming tablets and rescue remedy. Probably all in my mind but they did help a bit when I was suffering hideous nerves before braving the heights of 50/60cm showjumping or a walk and trot/prelim dressage test.

countrygirl99 · 26/06/2023 12:58

I was 40 with kids by the time I started riding.

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