Buying the next horse up... who is right?

[Ponymom]

Petite 12 yo daughter is ready to move on from her somewhat ploddy,
somewhat naughty pony cob. We are both short. I however am 11st, I'd love to be 10st but that ship has sailed I suspect, despite my best of efforts. Therefore I am not a lightweight rider and my riding is best described as "confident novice" perhaps. All of my time and money goes into dd. She has been riding 3 years.
She is doing well.

I cannot afford two horses, neither do I have the time to do so. Sadly we are not fortunate enough to be keeping them "at home " as so many seem to, just very very normal people, sadly not a endless amount of money.

It's time to buy the next size along and I feel it makes sense to buy something I can also ride.

Dd is up in arms. Not because she doesn't want to share - and to be clear, it would be her horse, but I'd like to hack/school on occasion and be able to exercise it if she were to fall ill, be away with school or whatever else.

It's because she doesn't want to go any bigger than what she has. She has convinced herself that anything above a 14hh will be too big - this makes no sense, she's ridden up to 15hh and doesn't look too small, despite being short. So it's a confidence thing. Current pony is 13hh.

I've said fine. If you feel that strongly, we'll find you a share and i will purchase myself something and you can grow into it when ready.

Frankly I'm sick of working my ass off to pay for and spending what feels like all day every day* at the yard and I get no riding out of it. I've accepted it thus far and enjoyed watching them bloom together but I want in now.

She says she doesn't want to go back to sharing, set days etc as we did prior to owning and wants me to buy her something she feels suits her even if I can't ride.

For reference I'm thinking 14.3 Connie cross with some good bone that will be a good all rounder. Certainly no bigger than 15h so that daughter can keep balance and but realistically with my weight it can't be smaller than 14.2 and whilst I wouldn't put her on a super weight carrier for sake of jumping and wanting something nimble, there must be something for both of us?

Or am I being selfish. Do I put myself aside another few years? No shares at our yard for me sadly.

Be kind, I'm aware this could read as spoilt child/selfish mom, which isn't the case at all... but I'm unsure what to do.

Thanks.

*mild exaggeration perhaps 😉

Tbh knowing the horse shopping market I wouldn’t make any firm decisions about what you want, keep an eye open and if something comes up one of you likes then try it. At the moment you’re both arguing about imaginary horses!

14.3 is classed as a horse and will put your daughter at a disadvantage if she wants to compete, pony club etc.

I agree with your daughter. Me and my friends all wish we stayed with ponies for longer. She has her whole life to ride horses.

If you aren't going to ride everyday anyway why not get a share for yourself? Bit of riding with help the weight come off too.

There are no height restrictions in pony club.

British showjumping has height restrictions so yes, you'd need a 148 unless she did the children on horses classes.

You won't find a safe 14.2 jumping 90cm for love nor money*

You're getting a bit carried away thinking OP needs this sort of pony. Her dd is coming off a ploddy cob and has a vague notion to start doing some jumping - which they have no facilities for. She may or may not have the ability to progress to BSJA. It would be a huge waste of money ,of the pony and almost definitely be over horsing her to pay for something out competing and winning at 90 - there needs to be a stepping stone pony here. A 14.2 native cross would likely do the job perfectly well

I know you've said you've already made a decision on this OP but if I was you, I absolutely would be looking for something you can both ride.

It doesn't have to be bigger than 14hh- 14.2 if you get a sturdy native or cob, and you can certainly get one that will do pony club and pop round a course with your daughter and hack out with you.

I agree with the poster who said it doesn't sound like your daughter needs a whizzy showjumping pony just yet - if anything that could be more detrimental for her confidence if she's coming off a ploddy cob - it will be a big adjustment. And if she's not done much showjumping yet, you don't know yet what aptitude she might have for it.

Personally, I'd get the pony you can both share and look to move from your current yard (a dressage yard doesn't sound the most suitable environment- you'd be better off somewhere with a set of showjumps, fellow pony club kids for your daughter to ride with and adults for you to hack out with.)

If your daughter develops a real passion for showjumping and needs something with a bit more ability in a few years, then she can get a part time job to help pay for the livery costs

I totally agree! I was replying to a pp who mentioned a 14.2 jumping 90cm would leave them change for a lorry out of 15k!!

Get a decent native and it will easily accommodate both of you, and at 11stone you are NOT restricted size wise - a decently put together pony will carry that just fine!

That was me and for what it’s worth I still stand by that statement. I think it’s ludicrous to spend 15k on a kid that isn’t even sure if she wants to jump competitively…

Go on Horsequest and look at ponies fitting the exact brief - for half of 15k.

You've found 14.2s jumping 90 for 8k??

This one for example: www.horsequest.co.uk/advertisment/303962 for £8.5K

I actually know this pony and he's amazing.

Guys I think you are talking a bit at cross purposes and it's probably not that helpful to OP or casual observers (OP decided what she was doing weeks ago anyway). There's a big difference IMO between a 14.2 that will happily pop a 90cm/1m fence at home or in a familiar place, on a nice line, no spooky fillers or dressing and confidently/positively ridden, than one that will be genuinely competitive at BN or disco with a first time BSJA, nervous young teen, and also be quiet enough at home to be hacked about by novice mum.

The latter is probably worth a good deal of money esp if under 12ish whereas I would have thought even at today's money you could find the former for under £10k. Most horses, even an non athletic cob will jump 90cm in the right circumstances but there's a big difference between any old 90cm fence and a full on BN course, fully dressed and with an audience, all the fillers and with difficult lines, tight turns in a small-ish indoor and don't forget for the jump-off/phase 2 it goes up another 10% so 1m. As a rough guide you'd really want a combination to be happily schooling 1m5 or 1m10 at home to be properly comfortable out at entry level affiliated showjumping or there's a risk of being over-faced as rightly the courses are designed to be challenging. So I do agree if this is the aim any old horse probably won't cut it. But I really don't think the OP's daughter who's never done any proper SJ before and doesn't even know if she really likes it needs a proper BSJA schoolmaster, just a sensible, experienced jumping type to start off at the lower levels and build confidence on, and that she can do a whole range of activities. There's no need to affiliate right away, and if it was me I'd me aiming for a nice safe all rounder I could also ride and enjoy, plenty of time for her to affiliate later on if she really wants to...

Yes agree but they don't need to affiliate to be jumping 90cm as the schools NSEA comps are everywhere and it seems everyone wants an honest pony who will jump a small non affiliated 90 - this is what has pushed the price up of what we used to call an all rounder

Yep - and he’s not the only one for that sort of money..

But apparently there’s none out there under 15k 🤷🏻‍♀️

He does look good. Not a safe hack though or at least it's not mentioned.