Sweet baby Jesus, my vulva. Help!

[Newrider]

I am mortified and I don't know where else to ask. Name change because obvious reasons.

I've just taken up riding again after a long break. I'm not a good rider and with the help of a lovely instructor (he's male, so no chance in hell I'm asking him!) I'm starting from scratch.

Oh my god. My vuvla is agony. Sore, the pain when I pee is immense! Very much not an inner uti type issue, I felt the chafe/rub happen during riding so it's definitely topical and related. I am SO uncomfortable.

Instructor says I am not bouncy, although I feel like it. My balance is desperately needing work though, lower leg needs to be more secure etc. Photos show me sat well, good posture, but I wonder could my pelvis be tilting too far forward during riding and thus allowing it to rub/squish?

I genuinely was in less pain post birth.

How embarrassing for you! How often are you riding and does it happen every time?

Tbh this doesn't sound normal to me (though might not talk about it I suppose!) so would hazard a guess there might have been some kind of minor inflammation beforehand and it's just been made worse. Sudacrem? Wear different shape/cotton knickers too??

You could try getting your own fluffy seat saver - that might also indicate you're finding it uncomfortable, without the detail. Perhaps do some walking hacks for a while until you strengthen your core a bit.

It might be that the saddle doesn't suit your body shape or is tipping you - is it the same horse you ride each time and is it particularly high withered?

I can't say I've ever experienced this!

Are you wearing comfortable clothing? It's not rubbing or causing issues when you rise and go back into your seat?

Gel seat pad can help. Also use a layer of Cetraben to reduce friction and chafing. This was recommended to me by a vulval dermatologist!

Also, i wonder if your weight is distributed too far forward so you are putting too much pressure on your vulva. Some of the weight should be dispersed along your thighs and some down into your heels/stirrups. So only about a third of your weight should be on your vulval area. You may be tilting your pelvis forward. Perhaps due to a weak core?

Weak core very likely. Thank you!

Doesn't happen on hacks, it's definitely prolonged trotting/cantering, desperately trying to work on a quieter seat but I've lost all fitness and strength in recent years post birth especially (they're not tiny, so it's not that)

Wearing appropriate clothing and it is the same horse. On a part time share so no change in horse or tack at each lesson to chalk it up to either. Never had it before but always rode fat little cobs that needed kicking on. This horse is a ISH and very forward, so also learning how different she feels overall too.

I will focus on pelvis positioning and see if this helps.

Will also explore suggestion that it may have been pre existing, although I'd say it goes after 12 hours or so post lesson.

Thank you

Look at a seat saver, fluffy or gel as suggested if a bit forward and you want a bit of grip. Def some kind of soothing cream before and after!

Can you talk to the horse owner? Just say you're finding it a bit uncomfortable with a weak core after children (v, v common!) and would they mind you putting a seat saver on for lessons. You could say that to your instructor too, I'm sure he'll have heard it all before and won't need any more detail. Pretty certain male riders must get uncomfortable too from different saddle types for time to time. It might be that he just needs to build you up a little slower than he is, but he won't know if you don't tell him!

It could well be that you and the saddle are incompatible. I did an endurance event recently on a hired horse and my intimate parts were like mince afterwards! I’m an experienced long distance rider and not used to quite the bashing I got on this occasion.

I’ve only had something similar (although nothing like as bad 😬) once. I came back from an hour and a half hack in a different horse from the one I usually rode and was distinctly uncomfortable. The saddle was pushing me forward onto my pubic bone - as I was riding I felt I couldn’t get in the right position and it was frustrating me although apparently I looked fine so it can be a very minor shift in position which is problematic. I’ve never had it since and my dd has never had anything similar despite riding up to 10 horses a day for the last year and a half. I would investigate things like the seat saver and if the horse’s owner is happy maybe see if the saddler can assess the fit with you riding and make some tweaks

I used to get really sore seat bones (so totally different) but after a change in horse (& saddle) I haven't had a problem.

As well as the seat savers mentioned, you could also try a pair of cushioned cycling shorts.

There's also a brilliant woman on Instagram: Meg Parkinson. She's an experienced instructor and is qualified in biomechanics. I expect you could send her some video & photos and she'll be able to tell you where you can make changes. (She's also really insightful to follow too)

DH has tight shorts for riding his bike with what looks like a big padded baboon arse. Might help?

You’ll be sitting in the wrong place. If you were wearing a pair of jeans imagine you were trying to sit on the pockets. You’re probably tipping slightly through your pelvis

Definitely a saddle issue
Seat savers aren't expensive and easy to put on, sure no one would mind at all and would save a lot of discomfort.
Had a friend who had exactly this issue, regular rider, her horse, new saddle killed her lady parts !

I had some Equetech padded underwear that were pretty good - various styles here: www.equetech.com/equestrian-accessories/equestrian-underwear

I had exactly this, in exactly the same situation when I went back to riding. I was genuinely worried I’d properly injured myself at one point, but it all healed and was fine.

As others have answered above

• you’re probably too far forward due to weak core
• different saddles can make a massive difference. This happened to me when on a horse with a bouncier gate, which also had a higher fronted saddle

I got the equetech pants which helped, switched around horses/therefore saddles more, and as my core and position got stronger I think my flaps also just got used to the pressure etc and hardened up a bit too!

You have my sympathy on the pain. It’s bad!

Hair not gate… 😑

Not hair autocorrect! GAIT not gate or hair 🤦‍♀️

@Lastqueenofscotland2 You’ll be sitting in the wrong place. She might be. But it might also be nothing to do with the way she is sitting. I can assure you I know how to sit on a horse, but as I said above, a recent experience on an uncomfortable saddle that put me in the wrong position no matter how correctly I tried to sit really left me very sore. I like to think I know what I am doing - I was competing abroad in an international event in a discipline I’ve represented my country in. A saddle that doesn’t suit you can cause serious discomfort, and telling someone it’s their riding isn’t always encouraging. Of course, it could be her riding, but there are several possible other reasons.

And @1990s - speaking of hair for gods sake don’t have too much of a tidy up down there! Nothing worse than being scrubbed in the nethers by bristly bits!

As said above, sounds like the saddle is tipping you forward, or doesn't suit you. Short term fix would be a seat saver, and try adjusting your stirrups, it may help relieve the pressure, but may well make you uncomfortable in a different way.
I had this with my mare and he saddle she came with - properly fitted to her, but arghhh. I got a different saddle fitted to both of us, so much better, and helped with my balance too, as it wasn't tipping me forward

When I first started riding I felt bruised & the skin was actually was so sore I started bleeding. I then wore padded cycling shorts. Worked a treat.

So sorry to have not come back to this sooner!

So glad I posted, so many great posts.

I'm 99% sure it's my riding, but thank you to those who tried to spare my feelings! I really am starting from scratch.

The saddle is fitted to the horse who has apparently been hard to fit to previous, horses other rider is much smaller and lightweight than I, but also an established and accomplished jockey so the saddle will have taken them into account when being fitted and purchased.

Definitely considered padded cycling shorts - we wear them backwards for bungee fit, but riding tights would probably really show them, those padded pants are definitely a goer!

I've been looking at the gel saddle toppers - Acavello do one. But do I want gel 'in' or gel 'out'? Advice greatfully received.

Also any tips for at home workouts that will specifically speed up my progress balance/weight distribution/core strength etc. I'm desperately low on time but could dedicate 15/20 to mobility/stretch/strength per day.

Thanks so much.

How secure in your seat do you feel? Is the horse spooky or liable to throw the odd buck? If so I'd go gel out - if you've got sticky riding tights you'll stick like velcro, but gel in might be more comfy in this instance....it's a tough one! Maybe pop to a stockist and see them in the flesh to help you decide...

Hula hooping is v good for core, with or without hoop! Squats would be good too.

The Activate your seat programme is excellent - it takes about 20/25 mins to do and really helps balance and stability. The physio behind it posts loads of useful
advice and extra exercise videos on her Facebook and instagram pages but the bungee is well worth the cost

Following along OP as I restarted riding after more than a 20 year break in September and have had the same issue. It's 100% worse when I ride the bouncier cob type especially as she has a Stubben saddle with a really high pommel. We did a lot of canter this week- and ouch.

I did have a bit of success in using some lightly padded triathlon shorts under my jodhs but am going to try some of these suggestions. I know my seat is comparatively crappy (when I was a teen I stuck like glue) but that's going to take a while to fix that.

I'm also currently sporting a tennis ball size lump on my shin after an altercation with a jump stand as well.

Hmm. I've a fairly sticky bum, though if I do come unbalanced it is always forward iyswim, which does suggest I'm tilting my pelvis too forward as expected. Funnily enough I do weighted hula, I don't hugely feel the improvement in my core for it though I can keep it going continuesly for 45m plus at a time without dripping it!

I will check that link thank you!

Funnily enough, I never got it on the cobs I rode previously, always had a soft spot for fat cobs! She's a connie so very different.

Try a Heather Moffett Seatbone Saver - ideally see if you can borrow one from someone first because some people really don't get on with them, but I found mine really comfy. They're made out of NASA ejector seat foam!

I've been riding for 40 years, a lot of that professionally.
I've had the same problem for the last couple of years, but I'm of the age where everything down there is thinning out!
I've got some of the equetech briefs linked above, but they make me look like I'm wearing a nappy, and the gusset folds up and gives me a massive camel toe 😆
Period pants help, and are much cheaper than the riding pants.