Terrified pony in school lesson

[TheViewFromTheCheapSeats]

I’m getting to the point of giving up on our riding school. They seem to have so many horses with behaviour issues.

I’m posting to see if this is within the norm for others…

My 5 yr old, on lead rein still. Pony straight off is off, trying to trot and pull forward from me leading. Unusually fast walk too, but actually trying to break forward. Having to told firmly, stop, calm.

Told to keep her legs still, nothing but voice commands due to reactive ness. Even a accidental tiny squeeze and she’s off. As I said- 5 year old this is. Good but obv not a perfect seat so I can’t swear no light touches or squeezes.

Use a rein to guide steering, near panic. Had to hold back from a bolt attempt. Nothing child can really do apart from be a passenger! The only way to manage is constant stopping and stroking (which after a bit does settle her).

Apparently the background is pretty sad, which is the reason. I get that, I like the pony. I’d give her time 1:1 with one of my older ones, I can see she’s lovely but bloody scared. However I think it’s mental to have her in lessons.

Add to this we have a kicker at the back of the line to avoid, two super lazy ones, and one that has no interest in halting for children. I feel like it’s gone chaotic with who’s left on the yard post Covid. I get it’s difficult. But we’ve had unriden 11 yr olds on the yard, ponies with abusive backgrounds and others that had just got used to being turned out in the field most the time

Perhaps she's better off the lead rein? Some are. Maybe wait until your dd is a bit older if they can't provide a more suitable pony?

The more you say, the more I think the issue with this particular pony is just the tip of the iceberg and you need to be more firm with the school (and I say that as someone very much aware of the frequently unreasonable loud demands of pushy parents and the difficulty of balancing the pressures all riding schools are under so I would never expect perfection or advise people to complain lightly). You are a paying customer after all and unless the lessons are very cheap you sound like you're not getting good value for money and they may view you as a bit of a pushover who'll never push back whatever crap they fob you off with (sadly quite common with long-standing loyal customers), the ponies aren't suitable, you are being relied on as a volunteer unqualified extra instructor (and it's made out the issues with the pony are your fault/problem to fix to boot), the teaching is lacking, the helpers aren't helping and in fact seem to be running the show (the teenage helpers or the yard grooms shouldn't be deciding which ponies are used for which lessons, a qualified instructor with an overview of all the various riding abilities and preferences of the clients, pony suitability for the activities each lesson will be doing and overall workloads of the ponies needs to be doing that and organising a list on a daily basis, that's pretty much running a riding school 101). I think you need a quiet word with whoever's running the place, not to complain per se but to try and establish how you can get your DD a better experience, is that through private lessons or whatever and if the response isn't satisfactory I'd seriously consider taking your business elsewhere...

Completely agree with what @maxelly says.

You are essentially an unpaid and untrained volunteer. I bet they love you!

The pony does not sound suitable at all for a 5 year old on a lead rein. I am allergic to being "that parent" at a yard but in this instance you need to say no to this pony. I'd also consider if it's the right yard at all.

At 5 the person leading the pony is as important as the instructor - they should be reinforcing the instructions - and this is what you pay for.

As I say I've led DD when she was younger on the odd occasion and as I'm a rider I'm fine to be hissing shorten your reins. More. Bit more. OK a lot more but at that age I wanted her taught by professionals. I also a habit off muttering inside leg to outside hand at her and I might as well have been been talking Swahili- because I'm not an instructor nor an experienced lead rein leader.

Now I don't mind sticking her on my mare and letting her work out for herself that reins like washing lines are not going to achieve much. If she gets bogged off with, she'll learn.

I'd be trying out a few different places to see if you can find one that nurtures her love of horses while you look on from the sidelines. She'll probably learn more that way because from the age of ohhh about 6 DD didn't listen to a word I said. She pays attention to the instructors though

If she's confident then I don't see the problem. It's good to ride lots of different types. Perhaps ask for her to ride a different pony some weeks?

Different types are fine but so many things in riding schools are accidents waiting to happen and this sounds like one of them. I learned in riding schools and then went on to teach in them. I'd have left any school that asked me to teach under those circumstances and indeed have had to do so in the past. There's a big difference between giving someone a pony that allows them to stretch out of their comfort zone a bit and completely over-horsing them. This is the latter and it's dangerous. It's particularly dangerous in group lessons and that's where I've seen nasty injuries happen.

If she's confident then I don't see the problem. It's good to ride lots of different types. Perhaps ask for her to ride a different pony some weeks?

She's 5 and on a lead rein. Any confidence is character not ability. She's probably fine on this pony as a passenger with a qualified member of school staff (less so the teen helpers, seen many an incident with these involved). Mine had 'ridden' race horses at that age. It's the handler that needs to be competent. Tbh though if paying for full lessons regularly I'd expect my dc to be on a suitable pony off lead by the end of the first lesson. Lead reins are for pony rides.

She's 5 and on a lead rein. Any confidence is character not ability

Spot on

@Pippi1970

Buy your own!

I wouldn't get a horse for a 5 year old unless mum is an experienced rider and the horse is a bombproof small pony. Even the softest horse (14.3 hh+) will still be a pretty big fall for a little kid.

i'd say just go to a different barn with responsible trainers

Buy your own

This response right here is peak middle-class Mumsnet at it's finest.

Buy your own, as though good ponies for 5 year olds are a) easy to come by and b) affordable!
Not everyone is privileged enough to have enough money to afford to buy and keep a horse for fucks sake!

I wouldn't keep taking your child there. It sounds like an accident waiting to happen. Your dd is confident now, she won't be if one of these mad ponies causes her a serious injury.

@TheGoldenWolfFleece

I wouldn't keep taking your child there. It sounds like an accident waiting to happen. Your dd is confident now, she won't be if one of these mad ponies causes her a serious injury.

Absolutely this.

Trust your own instincts. If they consider this pony suitable, then I'm sorry but they haven't got a clue. And it's dangerous. Fit your child.

Make no excuses and find another school.

Or, pay more for 1:1 lessons and say she's never to ride that pony again.

For your child not fit