Terrified pony in school lesson

[TheViewFromTheCheapSeats]

I’m getting to the point of giving up on our riding school. They seem to have so many horses with behaviour issues.

I’m posting to see if this is within the norm for others…

My 5 yr old, on lead rein still. Pony straight off is off, trying to trot and pull forward from me leading. Unusually fast walk too, but actually trying to break forward. Having to told firmly, stop, calm.

Told to keep her legs still, nothing but voice commands due to reactive ness. Even a accidental tiny squeeze and she’s off. As I said- 5 year old this is. Good but obv not a perfect seat so I can’t swear no light touches or squeezes.

Use a rein to guide steering, near panic. Had to hold back from a bolt attempt. Nothing child can really do apart from be a passenger! The only way to manage is constant stopping and stroking (which after a bit does settle her).

Apparently the background is pretty sad, which is the reason. I get that, I like the pony. I’d give her time 1:1 with one of my older ones, I can see she’s lovely but bloody scared. However I think it’s mental to have her in lessons.

Add to this we have a kicker at the back of the line to avoid, two super lazy ones, and one that has no interest in halting for children. I feel like it’s gone chaotic with who’s left on the yard post Covid. I get it’s difficult. But we’ve had unriden 11 yr olds on the yard, ponies with abusive backgrounds and others that had just got used to being turned out in the field most the time

OK well I've never in my life seen a 5 year old with perfect balance and permanently soft hands, so they aren't usually a good fit with a reactive scared pony.

There's nothing wrong with a pony like that being in lessons, as long as there is a suitable rider on board to help the pony learn appropriate behaviour. (DC2 often used to be asked to ride such ponies when helping out and was suitably experienced.)
However, it is not fair on the pony or a young rider to put the two together.
I'd either have a word with the owner and see what their reaction is, or think about finding somewhere else.

Yes Pippi, my 5 yr old is pretty standard. Means well and confident, but ultimately has the abilities of a 5 yr old rather than an older child.

Strewth, I'd run a mile from a stables like that. They should have totally placid bombproof ponies for lead rein.

I've ridden my share of - er - 'challenging' ponies at the riding school I went to, but I was mid-teens by then and had been riding for a while. The owner used to get me to school troublesome smaller ponies, as she was too big to do it herself.

My 9 yr old was that kid on another pony in the next lesson, she has a flair for keeping ponies calm. My 5 yr old doesn’t yet, as most wouldn’t.
Also I often find reactive ponies are stressed on lead, but far calmer with just a rider.

I'm about Jed they have parents doing the leading, especially with such ponies. Tbf DD's share pony would act like this with a strange leader, partly because he'd be taking the piss and also because he's young and a stranger who's a bit nervous themselves (understandable when it's a pony you don't know with their precious child on board) and doesn't know the pony inside out he would also be nervous and sharp

Parents leading was a thing during Covid I think.

about Jed meant to be amazed - strange auto correct! They certainly didn't have any parents learning round here they were allowed no where near the ponies, staff or arena.

I too think parents leading is very far from ideal, I get it keeps costs down but as well as the safety issues with someone inexperienced handling what are after all dangerous animals, even the smaller ones (not you OP, you sound pretty clued up, in fact I suspect the reason your DD is given this tricky pony was that you are able to keep a lid on the bad behaviour as the leader where maybe other parents would have panicked or would him up further) but also I think it massively muddies the water between who is the teacher (in fact quite understandably from your post you seemed to be teaching and helping your DD with the pony more than the actual instructor was), kids I find don't listen to instructions well when their parent is right there, they can get easily wound up or whingy if Mum is telling them something different to the teacher or they know Dad says they can get off if they say they're tired or whatever. I just don't think it's a good set-up and if you throw some unsuitable ponies or mixed ability/nervous children into the mix disaster can ensue. For that reason most schools around here gave up on beginner/lead-rein groups once Covid hit (if they hadn't already) and now it's privates or semi-privates shared with 1 sibling/friend max until they are walk trot and canter off the lead rein. I do think it's a shame as they miss out on the some of the fun and games of learning all as a big group I remember from my own kids early riding days but in those times there was an army of capable teen helpers around at all times and the school had a bigger range of ponies too (like yours they had to downsize in lockdown).

I think I'd get her some private lessons and ask if they'll lunge or the instructor walk besides leading and not to ride that pony for the meantime (agree with others that he doesn't sound very suitable for a novice 5 year old to learn on right now), if this school can't accommodate then maybe try another?

Restrictions are much tighter here as in Scotland however lead rein and beginner lessons for tots have been back to normal for a good year or more - they dropped the requirement for under 12's to distance pretty early on and the only restriction was with over 12 beginners. I think they've hair seen this as a good way to not have to pay staff whilst falsely blaming covid but it's pretty risky imo. Rising school ponies, whole quiet on the whole, are crafty and wise and can be utter piss takers.

@Tarne

Sounds great! Best dc learn that ponies are unpredictable so that they don't get a false sense of security and expertise as you would if they were push button ponies.

Being able to ride tricky ponies is a skill which makes the difference between an ok rider and a good one.

Having said that, if a child or adult is nervous or had a bad experience then the best pony for them is a quiet plodder.

Just as well they aren't all the same isn't it?

If you want reliability and predictability go cycling.

5 year olds that are still on the lead rein are not a suitable match for sharp ponies, that’s just silly. Once you have an independent seat then fine, but that’s a way to damage both pony and rider. Green on green doesn’t go.

Sounds like an accident waiting to happen to me, and very unfair on the 5 year old. Kids beginner riding is supposed to be fun not scary!

Here we have an army of teenage helpers, yet it’s still quite popular to ask parents to lead. Not a Covid thing. Not just one place either.

It’s been a slow creep. Amazing experienced instructor, no nonsense and loud. I just fell in step to her orders pretty much! Then ponies changed, then many instructor changes. Each younger and less experienced. Now a lovely young woman, but quiet. I end up repeating every instruction and filling in the gaps (shorten your reins/ lower your hands/ gentle hands/ sit up: use your outside leg..). She knows horses but seems overwhelmed with a group of children. Misses things while focusing on one (eg the rest have stood noses in tails waiting). I end up being the second eyes. She also doesn’t have a voice with the girls in the yard to say no, or to tack up a different pony and bends to their choices. The old instructor would refuse certain personality mixes for example, or tell one to stay and lead. Add in the ponies that stayed were riden far far less, new ones tended to be ponies having difficulty and it’s just crept up over a year and a half to a different place.

Skysblue, fortunately my 5 yr old is enthusiastic and fearless. I can’t claim to them her confidence is knocked, it’s just the aspect of as an adult I’m eyeing it up in worry. All she sees is that mummy always makes sure it’s ok I guess. For her it’s a bounce around then a quick calm down, no harm done.

@TheViewFromTheCheapSeats

Skysblue, fortunately my 5 yr old is enthusiastic and fearless. I can’t claim to them her confidence is knocked, it’s just the aspect of as an adult I’m eyeing it up in worry. All she sees is that mummy always makes sure it’s ok I guess. For her it’s a bounce around then a quick calm down, no harm done.

Then it's fine!

And seriously, have you considered getting your own /pony share? If you have multiple dds thst ride it can be cheaper

To the suggestion that getting a pony would be cheaper- we all know it doesn't stop with one - you'd end up with one for each child and one for you.

Well I'd be saying that you don't want your DD in that pony again. Honestly I always preferred 1:1 lessons and less of them as they actually get to do stuff in them. Otherwise you get about 5 minutes 1:1 if you're lucky in a group of 6 by the time everyone's in and sorted. I wouldn't have been happy with the situation you describe - I don't think YABU

I have always thought a shorter 1:1 is a good idea but maybe for a young child that would be a bit much? Is there anyone to have a pairs lesson with? If you aren’t happy it’s safe then you should do what you think is best, I don’t agree that young children benefit from quirky ponies at first. But on the lead reign as long as the pony isn’t jumping sideways maybe it’s safe enough? You can always grab them off. Kicking is quite a usual quirk and as long as they are on lead reign it should be possible to keep your distance and that is a good lesson although maybe lost on a 5 year old. Are the lazy ones really that bad an idea? My 6 year old’s pony is quite slow now but capable and safe as houses which suits me….

My daughter has been riding in a very big riding school for years and this is so far removed from anything I have ever seen Parents are certainly never asked (or allowed!) to lead. And the riding school ponies are usually bomb-proof (bar few exceptions). Also, there is a very big choice of ponies. Over lockdown they had a loan scheme and loaned out their ponies to the teenagers/adults so the ponies got ridden. Definitely change riding schools.

@Isausernameavailable

To the suggestion that getting a pony would be cheaper- we all know it doesn't stop with one - you'd end up with one for each child and one for you.

She has a 9 year old and a 5 year old, a safe 13hh would suit both for a couple of years. OP doesn't have to have one yet

I'm also really surprised you are being asked to lead. Irrespective of it being the norm where you are.

It's a skill and one even teenage helpers have - because they do it all the time, with the same ponies so know their quirks/buttons. I'm horsey - I share a horse and I've led my daughter a few times in lessons when she was younger and I'm crap at it. I somehow managed to make a normally push button pony slightly more reactive.

Also when she had in lead group lessons I was paying for her to be taught and led. That's the point.

I'd strongly suggest she does private lessons where she can progress to the lunge. Or you find a school where novice (and I mean they only lead one a week) parents are leading.

By having it on a short hold you might be winding the pony up (same was as a novice rider tries to control a strong pony by hanging into its mouth - when you actually need to do the opposite). However, this is not a decision you should have to make!

5 year old should be on safe, plodding saints. Plenty of time to get used to hotter ponies much later. It's brilliant that she's confident and enthusiastic and I'd be focussed on nurturing that rather than waiting for an accident to happen.

I mean one where novice parents are NOT leading obviously!

The short hold is a tricky balance. The other ponies I never need to, but this would have gained some speed already on a longer hold bolting and probably spin is. Small but bloody powerful.
I’ve been told today she’s ‘scared of women’ so probably it’s flat out madness using her.
My older one has riden her in a pair I’ve found out also when with a friend, and it was calm.

I’m guessing she isn’t given to other parents, but a presumption was made I’d be ok… despite being a woman 🤦‍♀️

I’m starting to think it’s carelessness with the decisions for who to tack up being left to however